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GOOD AND BAD LOVE (After The Pain)
There are times in life when you must come face to face with those who have hurt you or with those you have hurt. Those times for me have been bittersweet. There is truth to the saying "Love never dies" ; it simply changes. The transition goes from being unrealistic to real. At times it comes in an instance or as with most gradually. The ending to anything is inevitable; but when it comes to relationships it can be very sad. Imagine being the one who has to say "It's over." Imagine being the one that it is being told. The one saying it, has come to the reality the problems have become more than the relationship is worth with the other person willing to keep moving forward despite the problems. We all have been there and done that; but to what end.? Have you done it and realized you made a mistake and tried to correct it or have you had someone to tell you they where wrong and they want you back? You both are faced with the memories that can't be erased both good and bad. Some call it a crossroad and the decision is to remain together or go your separate ways. Usually one is focusing on the good times while the other one is focusing on the bad times and it's hard to make those times meet. There is no understanding and where there is no understanding there most definitely cannot peace. Simply put things have changed and will never be the same. It definitely makes you wonder about how you truly feel inside when it comes to determining your happiness as opposed to your significant other's happiness. Sometimes you just feel dead inside. You do not want to cause anyone else pain; but you definitely do not want to continue hurting. Remembering the good times will give you solace; but just momentarily. Though you made plans with this person to spend your life with them, things change, you change or sometimes they change. You no longer spend the time together you once did. Everything becomes routine and before you know it you have grown apart. With certain people you want to end it as peacefully as possible before they walk out of your life and with others you could not care less simply because they insist on making a difficult situation even more difficult. Most of the time these people are the ones found doing wrong and cannot accept you leaving. It's as if they want you to be miserable with them and once you decide to leave they will do anything to continue to make your life miserable. They will dirty up your name just to keep someone else from wanting you. They will use any tactic to humiliate you. Stand tall because anything built on lies will definitely fall. The so called love they have for you turns into hate and their words are like swords to slay your reputation. Whatever does not kill you will only make you stronger. I've been there before and I have seen lovers/enemies come and go. I held my own because I know I am a child of God. This is my life given to me by Him and I will not let anyone ruin what He has for me. Love is funny that way. It can turn into hate. It will be your best friend and then your worst enemy. it will comfort you on cold nights and then turn the fires of hell up just because it was rejected. People find rejection very hard; but why stay somewhere you do not want to be. Love is suppose to feel like home. It's your comfort zone. Where you want to be. Within the walls of love are like the walls of your home. There you are accepted for just being you, where you are at your best. In your home is where you share your life, they hold your nightly dreams, laughter and joy. When you find someone that does not bring you this type of peace then they leave you with no alternative other than to be free of them. Love simply doesn't live there anymore. Like the song says it's filled with emptiness and memories of what you had before. You cannot raise the dead, therefore, you cannot revive an heart that has stopped beating to the rhythm of love. Oh, the times my heart has been broken simply because someone stopped caring and wanted to move on! It did not kill me, although, at times I wanted to die; in many ways it made me stronger. I have seen countless times where people turned bitter; but, to me this made them weak and petty. It changed their outlook on life and love. Many times the person leaving is a blessing in disguise. They actually spared you a bigger hurt up the road. I have prayed for hopeless relationships to work; but, found later that I was praying against God's will for my life. I actually found out the person was not for me because they where cheating or being dishonest in so many other ways. They simply used me for one reason or another. Sometimes you can see what a person is doing; but want love so badly, you ignore what's really going on. You make yourself believe this person loves you. Often many good women love bad men because they do not love themselves and feel they deserve the bad treatment from these men. Many good men are treated badly simply because a woman has been scarred from bad men and therefore when a good man comes along she passes on the bad treatment to him. To continually accept bad treatment will leave you emotionally drained. It will be hard to accept real love when it comes along. Therefore stop repeating this cycle of bad men, accept it for what it is and move on. The sooner you accept the reality of the situation the more time you will have to find real love. Better yet, let it find you. Open yourself to the possibilities of life. God has much greater things and people for you, if you would give His love a chance. Learn of Him and you will learn of yourself. Life is an journey and it's about who you take for the ride. Don't pick up hitchhikers because they will only slow your progress. When you find someone who share your same interests and look to your lives together as an adventure then the journey will be filled with bliss. Put God as the captain and go with the flow. Love is beautiful; don't waste it. One day you may find yourself empty and wondering through this world alone. God Bless.
©2011. All rights reserved to PFP.
Every time I find peace
You find me
I do not know what you want from me?
All I want is to be free.
I love you but I Love me more
Just leave me alone, please let me go
It's not okay how you disappear
Then you come again and want me near.
You act as if I owe you something
I have given you all I can, I have nothing
What's the use of sharing
When I am the only one left caring.
I'm tired of these in and out games
Too many years have been lost and nothing is the same.
The love, the vows, the betrayal and the lies
No more tears, None left to cry.
How many times did you think I would let you hurt me?
My ship has come and I am out to sea.
Far from your grasp with the wind in my hair
Looking out at the ocean with a blank stare.
Going to my final destination
To the end of my life in peace
Somewhere, where my memories of you will forever cease.
I will no longer allow you inside my head
The feelings of love I had for you are now dead.
You tried to break me and make me weak
But instead I grew stronger, I am no longer your freak.
There are no more fantasies to be found in you
God has shown me the reality, now I see the truth.
You can no longer confuse me, twist my mind with your lies
All I have left for you is...........Goodbye.
Copyright 2011. ~Paedams. PFP
DID YOU EVER LOVE ME?
I look back to the heartfelt conversations we would have each and every night while we held one another.
I remember your dreams you shared and how I felt so special to be the one you open your heart to.
I remember the warm and fuzzy feelings while I listened to your heartbeat as you talked and expressed your inner thoughts.
I never thought we would have a breakdown in communication.
Those good old days seem like so long ago.
I thought you cared about me.
Now I don't know.
Did you ever love?
Was there ever love in your heart?
Was there ever any love for me at all?
I wished we could have gone back to the beginning.
When we relied on one another and before you broke me down with all of this pain and disappointment.
Broken down, disappointed and filled with the memories of the love of you.
It's amazing how different you are from the picture of you I painted in my mind.
The wonder of love is delusional at best.
It is at this heartbreaking time, my love has been put to the test.
Do I love you enough to go on or do I love me enough to stop?
A question we all ask ourselves when our heart has been dropped.
I gave you my heart to cherish and keep.
I sacrificed my heart, mind, body and soul, not knowing to hurt me was your goal.
You have shown me you do not care. My question is "How did you get here?"
Here in my spirit where only God was to be sacred.
Now like Eve in the garden with my soul bare and naked.
Did you ever think how you made my life an living hell?
According to your actions, your answer is "Oh Well."
I thought I needed to hear your answer for an solution to move on
All I needed was to pick up my heart and now I am gone.
Goodbye to the lies, cheating, mistreatment and questions
My heart is at peace and you are now placed as one of my life's valuable lessons.
Did you ever love me?
Copyright 2011. PFP