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GUYS: Things For You NOT To Do While Your Wife or Girlfriend Tries on Dresses

Updated on November 9, 2014
"Too tight."
"Too tight."


Along with going to lunch with girlfriends, hitting a “girls’ night out,” and seizing some priceless “me time,” did you know that for your wife or girlfriend, “the” most-relaxing and fun she will ever have is dress shopping at getting to take you with her, guys.

I can hear you groan with grief, but it is true. She loves you that much as to want you, the man of her dreams, to share ‘this” very special time with her. And really, it is a lot of fun and very exciting to see her, the most-beautiful woman you will ever know prancing in and out of the dressing room allowing you to enjoy the sight of her in various colors and styles of dresses.

"I like this."
"I like this."
"I hope my husband likes me in this."
"I hope my husband likes me in this."


I know that it seems as if she plans her dress shopping for a mid-Saturday, “the” day you have looked for all week so you can watch two college teams “duke it out,” all afternoon, but she did not plan it that way. Step back, guys, and look at all that your wife or girlfriend does throughout the week. She cooks, cleans, picks up the dry cleaning, does the laundry, and other things that you would grumble at having to do. But she tackles each task to make your life easier.

So I urge you, when you agree to spend Saturday afternoon with this special lady who loves to shop for dresses, to not be guilty of doing . . .

GUYS: Things For You NOT To Do While Your Girlfriend or Wife is Dress Shopping

"Allright. This is the one."
"Allright. This is the one." | Source
She is a slow, wise shopper
She is a slow, wise shopper
Looking in a two-way mirror
Looking in a two-way mirror | Source
"I wish my husband could appreciate this."
"I wish my husband could appreciate this."
This is a lot of fun for women
This is a lot of fun for women

Continued from above photo . . .

  • Slump-down in the chairs where men sit outside the dressing room. This body language tells “her” you had rather be watching football.
  • Doze-off to sleep while wathing this gorgeous woman parade-around in pretty dresses. Are you nuts?
  • Make numerous cell phone calls to buddies asking scores of football games.
  • Watching the football game (you are missing) on your iPad or Blackberry.
  • Drumming your fingers on the chair and allowing sighs of boredom come from your lips.
  • Making annoying sounds with your lips such as passing gas that makes onlookers laugh.
  • Bending over in your chair and holding your head in your hands. Are you this dumb, guys?
  • Constantly checking your watch. You must be looking for a good fight, buddy.
  • Eating a “Super Burger” you sneaked into the store underneath your coat.
  • Belching as loud as an F-16 taking off when you finish the “Super Burger.”
  • Acting like you are enjoying yourself by clapping extra-loud when your wife shows you her dress choices.
  • Pulling your shoes off allowing your smelly feet to annoy and (sicken) the people around y pou.
  • Scratching your butt and “privates” in front of whomever might be around you.
  • Saying loud sexual-related phrases each time your wife walks out of the dressing room.
  • Flirting (like a pardoned convict) with every woman who walks by. This includes other wives or girlfriends who are showing their boyfriends and husbands the dresses they like.
  • Going as far as to put on your own stand-up comedy act while your wife is trying on dresses.
  • Taking nips of booze from the flask you sneaked into the store underneath your shirt.

And . . .

  • Ending up very intoxicated at the end of the day when your wife or girlfriend has chosen the dresses she likes, but you embarrass her to death with your drunken behavior.


very soon . . .


New and



What men never see in the women's dressing room

Now, guys, it is your turn


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    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 

      3 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Still laughing. Actually I'm glad I don't have the finances for shopping adventures like this anymore because my hubby is the one who would flip our after just one hour. Passing this on.

    • vkwok profile image

      Victor W. Kwok 

      3 years ago from Hawaii

      Great advice, Kenneth!

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Dear Marie,

      You are a good friend and astute reader. I meant these manly-things for men NOT to do while at a dress store for they would embarrass themselves, their wives/girlfriends, and store employees.

      Thank you for your time and comment. and come back anytime.

    • Marie Flint profile image

      Marie Flint 

      3 years ago from Jacksonville, Florida USA

      You certainly come up with some right-on topics for embarrassed and/or frustrated men, Ken.

      Personally, I rarely have the privilege of shopping for a dress. Being female, naturally I don't see the situation from a man's perspective; however, I do have a daughter who occasionally shops for clothes. Although I'm not the "fittee," I involve myself by helping her find similar items in her size while she's in the dressing room.

      Now, I know searching through women's garments by a guy could be construed as a suspected trans-dresser by others in the store; however, aid from a sales clerk would make the endeavor acceptable.

      Some men love being with their wives when shopping--others don't and, perhaps, never the twain shall meet.

      Voted Useful and Funny. ***


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