- Gender and Relationships
Gay Or Homophobe? These Days It’s Getting Harder To Tell
At the risk of sounding as though I’m opening up a museum of Gay Yesteryear I’ll go ahead and say that although more people were in the closet back in the day it was somehow easier to tell who was who. You see there was no secret handshake or anything (or blowjob as some uneducated straightees suppose) but there was just a, well, a thing that when you came across another gay (or as they used to say, “family” or “friend of Dorothy” both meaning the person was gay) you knew it, they knew it and that was that. But today things are getting increasingly harder to determine about a lot of things and extremes seem to be meeting more in the middle than you ever expected them to so sometimes you have to ask yourself gay or homophobe? These days it’s getting harder to tell – Don’t Get Me Started!
Believe me when I say that I’m delighted that kids are standing up for themselves, taking their same sex date to the prom and all the other advancements we’ve made (yes, although we have many miles to go, it would just be stupid to not acknowledge the advancements in rights and acceptance the GLBT community now enjoys). But with that means that we’re also losing some of our “cool” factor. There was a time when we gays were the only one you went to for fashion advice or where to throw that throw pillow but nowadays as loathed as I am to admit it, some of those straightees out there are just as good and in some cases better than us at all those things! Horror! (Clutch imaginary pearls at neckline) It really feels as though someday (though perhaps not in my lifetime) that sexual orientation is going to be seen more for what it is, more fluid, not so “Straight or Gay? Please check one box only!” Yet God love ‘em (cause no one else does and I even suspect Jesus whom they claim loves them gets annoyed with them spouting hate in his name) for the most part the religious right remain completely unenlightened or willing to think about things like sex and how man came into being, clinging tightly to their leather bound book. In other words, there are still those out there who hate us gays just because we’re gay.
The amazing thing is how many of the gay haters have turned out to be gay. Well, sort of. If you were a gay man in Congress (aren’t they all at this point – eye roll) and you wanted to hide it from everyone in the world including your own self acceptance wouldn’t you vote against anything that seemed as though it was going to give gays rights? Of course you would because your own self loathing would make it impossible for you to deal or support anything that had to do with gay because you lived your life in fear of being outed which always ends up happening by the way and usually not in a normal way, it’s always male prostitutes and crystal meth or renting a boy to carry your “luggage” or being arrested in an airport bathroom trying to get or give a blow job to the guy in the stall next to you. Silly Closet Gays, when will they ever learn?
So we all get why closeted gays rage against out gays, right? But what about the people you first meet shake their hand and there’s that look in their eye? They say that most people know if they’re going to have sex with someone within the first three seconds. I think it has to do with the pheromones or just our animal instincts taking over but I think it’s true. Now it doesn’t mean you’re going to act on it, it just means that you’d do the nasty if the situation was right. Recently I met someone I had never met before and I shook his hand and while I didn’t think that the three second sex meter went off, another meter seemed to go off. And then I wasn’t sure which meter had gone off and I wondered if there was somewhere you could go to get your intuition serviced. In what seemed like less than three seconds I couldn’t tell if he was gay or a homophobe who really didn’t even want to be shaking my hand at all. I was peering into his eyes (the supposed windows to one’s soul and perhaps the reason for him being uncomfortable) and I’ll be damned if I couldn’t figure it out. There was a strong intensity about our locked gaze that was certain but is the line between attraction and repulsion as thin as the line between love and hate? For the rest of our time in the same room we didn’t look at each other at all and he left while I was in another room but still I wondered if the lines that we once knew so well were suddenly being colored outside of and it wasn’t all that comfortable for me. I guess there’s a part of me that lives in the past that finds comfort in the two box world of gay or straight. And just writing that makes me feel as antiquated as a stereotype of all gays liking antiques. I’ll never know what was going through that guy’s mind but it seems to me that the times they are a-changin’ again and I’m not sure if I like it. Gay or homophobe? These days it’s getting harder to tell – Don’t Get Me Started!
Read More Scott @ www.somelikeitscott.com