- Gender and Relationships
Gay or Not—Guide to Know If He Is Gay
How You Can Tell If a Guy is Gay
Signs That He's Gay
I have seen so many types of gay guys. They are often really good-looking and sweet to talk to, which can lead a girl to thinking she's found a catch—until she realizes she's not his type. If he's cool, then it doesn't matter—you've still found an awesome friend, minus any potential drama.
That is, there's no potential drama unless you can't tell he's gay and try to catch his attention, only to feel rejected. While it's easy to tell some guys are gay at first glance, for others, you need him to tell you before you know for sure. Here are some common signals for different types of gay guys that should help clue you in. These types I describe were actually the guys I worked with in college. Of course, everyone's an individual—he's the only one who can tell you his sexuality for sure!
1. The feminine gay: There is this guy I work with. He puts on heels, has hair clips, and looks a little feminine. In such a case, he's gay more often than not.
2. The calm and quite gay: This guy is gay, but you might not know because he doesn't talk much. To crack this code, befriend him on Facebook, and it might give you a clue. That's how I came to know, because this guy rarely talked and only kind of chuckled when in conversations.
3. The overly friendly gay: At first, this guy's friendliness may be confused for flirting. How did I pick up on the fact that he was gay? I didn't! In fact, I had a tiny crush on him (you can read about our encounter here). After I found out, he continued to be overly affectionate toward me in settings where no one else knew he was gay. When I told him to stop using me to act straight and to just be himself, he told me I was not the first girl to tell him that. With 20/20 hindsight, I can now note that once he literally skipped while walking, and he does call all girls "darling," so there can be little clues!
4. The cool gay: This guy would not show any outward signs of being gay. He just like like any other guy except he does not want to act like a jock all the time, and in group settings, he is usually not looking at girls in that way. If you are harboring a crush and cannot determine whether he's straight, Facebook helps a lot.
Hope that helps. But more often than not, you can never exactly say unless he himself tells you. So just ask him—casually, without sounding like the pope.