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Gender vs. Sexuality: Who gives a F**K!

Updated on June 12, 2016

Like all humans and creatures, well most creatures, we come out of the womb and like an explosion of natural nothingness we are thrown into the world. Right at that moment we are looked at and placed in a box, that is a figurative box of course.


We take gender as something that because our sex is certain way; our gender has to match it. That as we have come to know is not the case. Gender is a social construct, given at birth we are put in a box because that is what the doctor and your parents decided.

Not only are we given gender at birth but also inside us is what we are always going to have and be, our sexuality. Now people may say that it’s because of the way you were raised or the people you were surrounded by. But baby, you were born this way! Just like the fact that you were born with toes or hair.

Designed by Landyn Pan
Designed by Landyn Pan | Source

Lets go back to gender for a quick second, because gender is something that can be fluid. It doesn’t have to be based off of your sex or what you were given at birth. We are brought up to think that it is but your gender is your decision. We can take that and become whatever you want to be. You can even be a freaking unicorn with wings if that what you want to be!

In our world today it becomes very hard for people to find who they are especially if they are not part of the “norm”. The stereotypical girl is the one with a ponytail, and frilly dresses and the boys like to rough it up in the dirt with their baseball caps and t-shirts. These are all stereotypes. But you can be that person who breaks them. Yeah you might get looks and people may misgender you actually they probably always will but its about what you see yourself as


Not being part of the “norm” you may experience having to come out to people and with that comes rejection because people don’t understand what it is like to be something that is not of the gender or sexuality “norm”. Some may say that coming out is the hard part but I find that that’s just the part that is the easiest because its finding yourself in a world that is not used to having you be yourself which proves to be difficult.

This brings us to gender and sexuality as a whole. First stating that, they don’t have to match! Again it can be whatever you want it to be! If you’re lucky you will only have to come out once but if you are anything like me you might have to come out multiple times in fact I came out about three times! You will come to realize that once you come out you might not be comfortable with the way you identify and then you might change that word that defines you. What you have to keep in mind is that it is okay to change your mind because in the end its you whom you have to live with and its not written in stone that you have to be one way or the other just because you already came out once.


So, go about your day and remember that it doesn’t matter what others think. You can be the gender that you want and you are the sexuality that you are because you are staying true to yourself. Honestly, that’s sounds much better that pretending to be someone your not because if I had a choice I would most definitely not choose to be a ponytailed, Ugg wearing, latté drinking girl because I love being queer af!!




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