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Feel Hurt, But Don’t Get Angry

Updated on April 21, 2017

You’ve invested years of yourself into your relationship with him. How many times did you sacrifice pieces of yourself to build a new identity that consisted of the both of you together? He made you lean towards him little by little until suddenly you found yourself falling for him. No one else mattered in your life because he was your future. He was the one you were going to end up with, so he was the one you wanted to please. You sacrificed your friends for this future you were so sure existed. However, then it happened – he stole that future from you. He arrived a forbidden temptation, dominated a lascivious paramour, and escaped an oblivious prowler.

What do you do? You get angry. How fucking dare he? Did he just erase all those years of the two of you from his memory? How can he move on so easily and comfortably when you’re crying in your room feeling like there’s no one in the world who can take away this pain? Wait a minute. What did I say? You’re in pain. Then why are you angry?

You’re hurting because you love him. You’re hurting because he’s still a good guy in your mind. When you were sad or scared or stressed, he was there to comfort you and tell you that everything is going to be fine. He never left you when you hit a low point even though any other guy would have ran for the hills. He understood your grief. When all your dreams came true, he was the one you wanted standing right next to you. At the end of the day, everything you sacrificed for him, he sacrificed something equally as valuable to be with you. It’s the love for him that’s hurting you, so does it not seem ridiculous to be angry with him when you just want to love him?

That love you feel is so warm and encompassing. Stop tainting it with this anger. When you hear his name, let that love you feel fill your heart and soul. Let yourself be happy. You don’t need to be with someone for it to be okay that you feel warm and happy and satisfied thinking about them. Don’t be angry with yourself for having those feelings even though he’s not there.

That’s why you’re feeling angry. It’s not for him. It’s directed at yourself because you feel pathetic for loving someone who does not love you back. That love doesn’t make you pathetic. It makes you special. If you still feel that love months from now or years from now, then you know that the feeling you possess is special. Most people will never understand what it means to be so confident that their love is true and pure. They only know when forty years later, they’re still with the same person. But you know now. That confidence in your love is the most precious, desired feeling in the world. Don’t let go of it or taint it just because the receiver of that love does not reciprocate your feelings. It’s him who should be jealous of you because he can never have that satisfied feeling that you have. True love does not need to be reciprocated.

Whenever you’re sad or feeling low, just pull that trigger – think of him – and let that pure love radiate throughout you.

© 2017 Katy James0524

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 3 months ago

      “He {made you} lean towards him little by little until suddenly you found yourself falling for him. (You sacrificed your friends for this future) you were so sure existed. However, then it happened – {he stole that future from you}. – Too often people play the “victim” or “passenger” in their own lives!

      No one (makes) anyone give up their friends or their future. One has to take responsibility for choices {they've made}.

      If we play the "blame game" what can we do to prevent it from "happening to us" in the future? Being a victim isn't empowering!

      Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

      Ideally with dating and life experience we gain wisdom and learn to become “better shoppers” in our mate selection process. We learn to look for “red flags” and honor our core beliefs.

      “You’re hurting because you love him. You’re hurting because he’s still a good guy in your mind. When you were sad or scared or stressed, he was there to comfort you and tell you that everything is going to be fine”

      – In order to “move on” one must (want) to “let go”!

      Sitting around wearing “rose tinted glasses” and “romanticizing the past” keeps you from reality.

      “True love does not need to be reciprocated” – Not so.

      In order for your (ex) to have been “the one” they would have had to see (you) as being “the one”. At the very least a “soul-mate” is someone who actually WANTS to be with you! (And vice versa).

      “Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.”

      - Oscar Wilde

      If someone dumps you or betrayed you they clearly didn’t think (you) were all that “special”.

      Your future lies ahead of you and not behind you.

      Every ending is a new beginning!

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      readyforlove42 3 months ago

      The guy who lost this girl really should be jealous. Some other guy is going to take home this beautiful soul. None of my girlfriends have ever been so understanding of their exes.

    • profile image

      Emma 3 months ago

      This resonates strongly with me. I feel a weight lifted off my chest.