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Get Real With the Friend Zone

Updated on November 1, 2017
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Christina is a Relationship Counselor/Author/Columnist. She Completed graduate studies in Psychology and Developmental Counseling.

Friend Zone

Get Real with the Friend Zone

When meeting a potential companion for the first time, you want to give the right impression. If you enter into it with intentions of gaining a friendship, that’s the way it will remain. Be sure to send signals catering to your initial intent. If you send the wrong signals, it’s difficult to turn them around.

Chemistry and sparks are usually felt in the beginning. You have the ability to turn the signals on or off based on the mind frame you are in. Use that ability to your advantage. If your intentions are to gain a romantic attraction, then enter the meeting with an open mind and allow your attraction to blossom. Your potential companion will feel it as well; and hopefully reciprocate.


We are all looking for the best friend/lover/partner in life. I like to reference this concept to the 3 “C’s”: COMPANION, CONFIDANT, and CUDDLE BUDDY.

* The companion is someone you are compatible with; who is your best friend. Someone with a similar lifestyle, morals/values, goals and who enjoys similar activities.

* The confidant is someone you can confide in for both the turmoil and triumphs in life.

* The cuddle buddy is the one of which you are romantic and intimate with.

Think about it… if we just want a friend in our lives, why are we seeking that “friendship” in the opposite sex? GET REAL WITH YOURSELF! Our internal intentions lay in the hopes of finding that ideal mate … even beyond “friends with benefits”.

My suggestion is: If you feel the attraction right away, let your flirty juices flow. Let the chemistry happen. If you don’t reveal it, the so called “friend” will find chemistry elsewhere and you will lose out. You may find yourself helping your “friend” prepare for his/her date with someone else.

© 2017 Christina Leigh

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 5 months ago

      "If you feel the attraction right away, let your flirty juices flow."

      - Great advice!

      The "friend zone" is generally made up of people who fear rejection and therefore they suffer in silence as they pursue friendships with a "hidden agenda".

      A fast rejection saves everyone time and avoids potential heartache. Generally speaking when someone sees you as a "platonic friend" they clearly don't see you as being "the one".

      It's easier for ex lovers to evolve into a best friendship than it is for a best friend to become a lover.

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde

      In a world with over (7 Billion people) rejection means: Next!

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