Getting What You Need - Part 1
I have approached writing this with a great amount of trepidation. This is opening a window of my world that I share but share carefully. It will take more than this one part to impart on you, the reader, the depth of the subject. I was told, for various reasons, to not open the comments block. The last time I went deep into The Frog Prince, I got private e-mails that asked that I open up the comments block because that person had something they wanted to say that would add to my subject. So I did and don’t have any regrets now about doing so.
Music Please Maestro?
Becoming jaded about life can happen, does happen and probably will always happen. I refer to it as carrying a lot of baggage, and we all have it. Throughout my life I have picked up my share of it and stored it. We all have, as it is part of life. We’ve all been used, abused and spit out. But what should that do for you, with you and about you is what is critical to who you are. Taking it into the next relationship you have is destructive. I suggest you park it at the door. That doesn’t mean you can’t talk about it. Not by any means, just don’t carry it into the present and future because it is the past.
I can only suggest to anyone that you don't let the past become a barrier to a future fulfilling friendship, even if that is all it will ever be. Get your shorts out of your crack, take a deep breath and grow up. Everyone isn't meant to be a lover, nor should they be.
Are you going to carry that around with you the remainder of your life? Are you going to project your past into the present and future? What one person has done to you, others will do? Are you not capable of picking up the pieces that are left, brushing yourself off and saying, “Next?” That’s a serious question. It will determine how you lead the rest of your life and deal with other people.
What I have experienced in my life has made me who I am and how I feel about other people. I’ve had some terrible things happen to me. I’ve been shot at and missed and sh*t at and hit, been dragged through my muddy past more times than I could ever imagine, been called every name in the book and then a few I never heard of before, but so what? What does that have to do with you? Not a damned thing. It is my past. Did I learn from it? Of course I did, and I don’t need to project it on you as another human being, thinking you had anything to do with that because you didn‘t.
Everyone in life is not out “to screw” you, figuratively or literally. I’m known to be a bit deep in places in the stream of life and how I treat people and expect to be treated in return. That is my key to life. It is my code. It is about honor and truthfulness. It usually isn’t all about me but more about you when, and if, we ever cross paths. When you first encounter someone, if you are wearing your past, you are suspicious and maybe have a non-trusting attitude. Why? It’s because of your past and that baggage you are lugging around. It has nothing to do with the other person and everything to do with you.
So what is my code? It bears an explanation so that you understand that embracing this isn’t an idea, a concept or anything of the sort. It has to be a way of life. I’ve heard over the years, “I know how you are about money” or “I know how you see other people” and it can go on and on and on. I’ve related what I am about to tell you to every person I have had a relationship with, no matter where that went or didn’t go, and the majority of them, if not all of them, let it slide right by them because they weren’t paying attention.
Back in the year 1993, I met one of the mentors in my life. I had quite a few in my military career who helped me rise to the top but no one even close to this person I met after I finally hung up my spurs in the Army. I am 60 now and will always value the man who chose me. I didn’t choose him, he chose me. He ran a super salesperson organization that centered on Realtors, of which I was one. I was very successful then, and he made me even more successful because he taught me about not only sales but about life and how to deal with a lot of it. He taught me about people and meeting their needs. His name is Floyd Wickman and you can Google him. He is one hell of a person.
Above all else, he taught me the “value” of other people. You are valuable and so are you and you and you… You never know when you will need someone else, notice I didn’t say “want.” There is a distinct difference between what you “want” and what you “need.” Many people cannot, or they are not willing to, differentiate the two concepts. I was taught how to do so by my mentor, and it took years of his time and caring about me to get it through my thick skull to accept some basic facts of life. Conversely, I meet people who think they don’t need other people. Yes, “YOU DO” need other people because when the going gets extremely rough, if you cut yourself off from those with the philosophy of life my mentor took years to teach me, you will miss the life preserver that is thrown to you when you most need it.
My mind and soul need a rest now, so this will conclude Part 1. Peace be with you. And also with you.
- Getting What You Need - Part 2
The first part of “Getting What You Need” centered on becoming jaded when dealing with other people and life itself. That is easily accomplished if you let yourself go there. I touched on baggage and dealing with it or not having