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Getting over an ex who has gotten over you

Updated on November 30, 2013
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They've moved on

A break up can be a hard pill to swallow; especially if there are some deep feelings between the two. What can hurt the most is that your ex has moved on. No one likes the feeling that they have been replaced; it feels like someone else is making them smile instead of you. Getting over a breakup is one thing, but to see someone with your ex having a good time with someone else can really break your heart into little pieces. To make things even worse you still have those feeling for them and when you see them with another person it feels as if your relationship with them meant nothing. This can really bring you down every time you see their face and you need help accepting the fact and move on yourself.

Avoid being friends

If you still have feelings for your ex and you hope to get back together, but they don’t see that happening, then your best bet would be to avoid being just friends. Staying friends will only make things awkward when you see them flirting with another person or worse, see them with in a new relationship. If they still want to be just friends you need to let them know how you feel and that it’s not a good idea to be friends or that you need some time away from them. If you don't then they will continue to be in your space, which will feel as if they are playing with your emotions. This mean you need to keep as much space away from them as possible; this means no texting, calling, or checking up on any tweets or Facebook status update. This way you won’t mistake harmless flirting as an invitation to makeup.

Talk with your friends

Friends are very comforting to talk to when dealing with a breakup. Your closest friends know what to say to get you through this. Spend time with them to help you feel good about yourself and get over your ex. Your friends can save you from depression; to be on the safe side avoid any friends that you share with your ex for four reasons:

  1. They like to play both sides of the fence (nobody like someone who is wish-washy)
  2. They are just going to tell your ex everything you said (they believe their are helping, but they aren’t)
  3. Every time they see you they will ask about your ex.
  4. Some will even tell you about the other person your ex is seeing (why would you do something like that?).


Get the hint

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Be constructive

Find a hobby or some type of project to work on. What were you into before you guys met? If you really weren’t doing anything then you may want to pick up some type of activity to keep your mind off of the breakup or the fact your ex has moved on. You can get in shape (you have extra time on your hands). I would recommend exercising; it keeps you in a good mood. A good book also can keep your mind off the break-up.

Avoid the pettiness

A breakup can leave a bad taste in one or both of the partners mouth, which leads them to do petty things. For example, one of them might try to go out with the others best friend to make them jealous. Trying to hurt someone especially this way will only hurt yourself, so if you can't be happy for them then this is another reason why shouldn't be friends with them.

New beginnings

Your relationship may have came to an end, but it makes room for a new beginning. Get rid of any personal things that you may have got from your ex whether it is an old love letter, pictures, or any other gift (it can be hard). The point here is to get rid of anything that triggers any emotions of your ex; it can range from songs, movies, or the place you guys went on your first date. Try looking on the bright side; you have time to get to know yourself a little bit better. Use this time to better yourself, maybe you want to get in shape, but you never had the time. Maybe you want to write a book; whatever you decide to do just know that it’s a first step to the new and improved you.

Friends again?

Everything mention above was there to help you take you mind off the fact that your ex has moved on, but if you are really looking to be friends you want to be sure that you are truly over your ex. Take a moment and ask yourself these questions:

  • Can I stomach the thought of my ex with another?
  • Can I see myself getting back with my ex?
  • Does it still bother me when people ask about my old relationship?
  • Can I move on myself and let go of the past?
  • Will it feel awkward if we go out?
  • Can I really see us as just friends nothing more?

Be honest with yourself when answering these questions before moving forward. To be honest you may have to just let them go altogether. Its sounds hard, but decisions must be made to make your life better.

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    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Getting over an ex who has gotten over you this is so true and yet some couples fail to acknowledge their faults. Being friends is wrong and most individuals repeat their same mistakes in new relationships. The point is don't rush into any new relationships

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 4 years ago

      Voted up and useful!

      The last thing a person needs to try to be is an "instant friend" with their ex. It's unrealistic to expect to go from being "red hot lovers" to platonic friends which is the equivalent of being (siblings).

      Unfriend them on your Facebook account, avoid places you know they frequent, refuse to respond to emails, texts, or calls. If you are sent gifts or cards don’t acknowledge them. The purpose of sending you things is to get you to initiate contact or pull you back in. It is best to go “cold turkey” for six months to a year.

      Generally speaking the best scenario for exes to become "friends" is after there has been a major (gap in time) after the breakup and (both) people have moved onto other relationships and happen to bump into each other.