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Getting over heart break.

Updated on October 1, 2015

Tears help momentarily.

It's 12:00 at night, and you're crying. Like so many nights before, your world is seemingly coming to a bitter end and you're not quite sure how to deal with it. You feel as if your heart has been ripped from your chest and you don't know if you'll ever get over it. The only action you feel you are in complete control over is the ability to cry, and that's all you HAVE done for the past month. I have news for you. The mourning period is over. A new era is dawning, a new you is waiting to emerge, begging to be released back into the world of happy, carefree, single people. It all starts with admittance. Letting emotions build up inside you can never be good for your mental health. Not only does it lower your self esteem but it also takes away drastically from your quality of life. .Admit to yourself how you feel. Don't be ashamed and don't be prideful. Get it out of your system. The sooner the better.

So you've been hurt.

Analyze your situation. Was it your husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, crush? How did they harm your feelings? Your heart is broken and it's not your fault. Realize this first.

Secondly, come to terms that no matter how terrible you feel, this is NOT the end of the world and that life WILL go on. When I say "Get over it." Trust me, I know it's not that easy. We've all been there and therefor we all know, when a heart breaks, you feel ALL the broken shards. That's why the mourning process is important, but dangerous if abused. After your disappointment, treat yourself to a YOU date. Just you. Be alone. Come to terms with the situation. Shed tears over your lost love, eat an entire box of chocolate, but for Heaven's sake don't beat yourself up about it! As the week progresses, so should you. Surround yourself with close friends, friends that have been where you've been. Friends that offer comfort and sound advice. As each day passes, you should be getting a day closer to your goal. Re awaking happiness.

Will I ever be happy again?

Oh definitely, If you allow yourself to be.

Were you happy before you met your significant other? Find that same happiness. One that doesn't involve a relationship.

In situations like these, we tend to cling to something, something in the form of lover material. We confide in them, receive comfort from them and feed off their happiness as if they are a host. Don't do this. Not only are you fooling yourself into a false sense of security, but it's not fair to your victim of false affection.

Discover happiness in other things.

Create a bucket list, surround yourself with friends, go on vacation.

Flirt, if that's what makes you happy.

Be yourself again. Be the person you were when you still knew how to be single.

It's important when entering a relationship to keep an open mind. Instead of your significant other filling your emptiness, or you filling his....become a team. Not a necessity, nor a life. source. Be YOU with an added blessing. Blessings are given and blessings are taken. Be prepared to come to terms with this so you may cope with it in the future.

Moving on.

Weeks, maybe even months down the road....You're doing fine. Sure, things aren't perfect, But you're not just surviving, you've also learned how to strive. Your heart break has not become your main focal point. You've started down the path to a happy, successful life....That is....Until you see them. A nightmare you've had several times and are all too familiar with. You've moved on, but that doesn't mean you were ready for HIM to.

Jealousy returns like a sickness. Sweeping over your body. Making you want to just...give up. Seeing the one you shared so much with starting again with somebody that isn't you, hurts....it hurts worse than any physical affliction, it tears your healing heart into shreds all over again. I do not suggest a pity party. What I do suggest is....don't let it get to you....don't let it reach your heart, let is phase the surface, let it take roots in your brain. Evaluate, articulate, and give yourself a pep talk. Secondly, get it out of your system. Invite a friend or two to join you at a local restaurant and bad mouth that jerk as much as your lady like mouth will allow. Tear his reputation apart till you don't feel like crying, you feel like laughing, laughing that he couldn't bring you down again and also because you pity the poor girl he has with him. Oh well, it won't be long before she's in the same position you are.

Find love again.

I'd suggest you wait a good 6 months before getting into a serious relationship again. This allows you enough time to clear your head and heart of any lingering thoughts. When the right man comes along, don't let past mistakes get in the way of your happiness. Know his heart, know his mind, know his plans for the future and be 100% sure of his plans for the future. Take things slow, and before you realize it......

You're so, totally.....over it.

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