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Getting your Partner's Attention

Updated on July 9, 2010

Being in a relationship is hard work. The challenge is to keep the fire burning even when the hormones have cooled off and what remains is an appreciation of who your partner is as an individual beyond the physical attraction.

The key here is to be appreciative because as individuals we are literally and figuratively created different and no matter how much we wished our partners were like this or that, they can never be. So then the question become how do you deal with the differences?

First there is the need to realize that trying to change someone or trying to force them into being submissive is a recipe for disaster, as it becomes a source of resentment and eventually the end of a relationship that still had a lot to offer or worse still, complacency where the end never comes.

Life rather becomes one where you are living in a perpetual winter….stuck in a relationship where you are in it alone, the both of you.

Communication is important, it’s at the core of what drives a relationship from the sighs and grunts of “even after all these years I still don’t get it” to the smiles and bubbly attitudes of “I don’t know where I would be without you.”

In light of this fact we also need to acknowledge that communication does not necessarily mean verbal conversation.

Through time, we have witnessed the rebirth that communication has undergone; from the blowing of horns, to the beating of drums and smoke signals, to the greeting cards and postal mail and eventually phones to the all so refreshing blogs, tweets and face book pages all meant to reach beyond the horizons and bestow loved ones with blessings.

So how do we get our partner’s attention? Sometimes this could be as simple as giving them a foot rub when they get home from earning the elusive bread and they are talked out for the day to giving them a full body massage to help loosen those knots and relax them, to running them a bath and scrubbing their back down….

Sometimes it could even be a love note....delivered face to face (even though you are living under the same roof) not left lying by the bedside table just because you felt you could express what you feel better through writing, or in some cases filling their gas tank just because.

It could also be something as simple as taking out the trash, picking up the laundry.... the ideas are limitless and are in most cases inspired by those things we know that our partners enjoy doing or would appreciate if we did them before they asked.

The point is, communication is sometimes tantamount to catering to our partners needs; those they request of us and more so, those we instinctively know in our hearts are what they need.

But all this is subject to one being attentive to what their partner needs.

Remember you need not be asked by your partner to do something, sometimes volunteering to do something is all the communication they need.... to know you are mind, body and soul in the in it with them.


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