Girl vs Woman
A conversation with a very dear friend prompted the thoughts for this blog.
There are many differences between a girl and a woman, just as there are between a boy and a man. Most of the time people don't think of the differences between a girl and a woman because we live in a patriarchal society where females are still expected to be subservient in many ways to a man, and therefore kept as perpetual children.
But over time there has become a more noticeable difference between a girl and a woman. This is due to the independence that females have gained through being in the workforce; as well as achieving as much success as their male counterparts. Females don't have to rely on having someone else in their lives to "take care of them" any longer. Even with all the opportunities afforded to females to not have to rely on someone else, there are many that still remain subservient in society. These females have not realized the power they have within themselves. Below I will outline a few of the differences between a girl and a woman. These contradictions can also be applied to the differences between a boy and a man. Since I am a woman that is the perspective I am most familiar with and wrote about.
When a heartbreak happens, a girl will cry, then take revenge upon whomever broke their heart. This will be done by acts of retaliation directly to the person or their possessions, or via the passive aggressive vehicle of rumors, gossip and outright lying about the individual.
When a heartbreak happens, a woman will cry, think about what happened, learn from the experience, and then gather herself together by pulling herself up straight, head held high and walk away to move on with her life.
For attention, a girl will use whatever means necessary to make sure she is the center of attention. Those means could be as small as having a sneeze come out like a squeak, to laughing too loud to make sure she is noticed, to "dumbing" herself down to make her seem helpless.
For attention, a woman knows that all she has to do is walk in the room with her head held high, exuding confidence, knowing that after a while the other men and women in the room will get tired of the girl and move her way. A woman is able to hold a conversation showing her full intelligence and be self assured while exuding confidence in that intelligence.
A girl will let others dictate how she is to behave, speak or react in any given situation. That girl does not know her own worth or her own mind. She will pout and whine about how unfair and mean others are to her, not realizing it is her own behaviour, reactions and actions taught others how she wants to be treated.
A woman will dictate how she is to behave, speak or react in any given situation. That woman knows who she is, in all aspects of her life. A woman will not complain about how others treat her because she knows that even in adverse situations she will be respected because of who she is and how she handles herself.
A girl can't flirt without the expectation or thought that something more is meant by the flirtation. A girl doesn't know how to stop before things get out of hand and will continue because the ego trip of the attention is too compelling to stop.
A woman can flirt without the expectation or thought that something more is meant. The woman knows that flirting is just that flirting, and knows how far to take it before crossing any lines of impropriety.
A girl will get into a relationship expecting to be able to change the other person to suit HER wants and needs as well as feeling she MUST have someone to complete her and even worse it is expected.
A woman gets into a relationship not because she has to, but because she wants to be with the other person. A woman truly enjoys the companion she is with.
I am a woman plain and simple. I don't expect anything from anyone other than what they can give. I say what I mean and I mean what I say. I know what I want from and for myself and what I want from others. I don't follow the crowd, I walk to the beat of my own drum. If someone doesn't like me for what I say and do, then that's on them not on me. I'm not changing for anyone, and I don't expect anyone to change for me. I have a confidence in who I am now. I have been and am constantly under estimated, but that's fine by me. Others who doubt my capabilities are constantly amazed, and again, that's on them because it shows how much they think of their own competence and how well they think they know me.
A poem by Veronica Shoffstall comes to mind with this post:
After A While
After a while, you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security,
And youbegin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open,
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And learn to build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in midflight
And after a while, you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn and learn...
With every goodbye, you learn.
by Veronica A. Shoffstall