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Girl vs Woman

Updated on December 21, 2012

A conversation with a very dear friend prompted the thoughts for this blog.

There are many differences between a girl and a woman, just as there are between a boy and a man. Most of the time people don't think of the differences between a girl and a woman because we live in a patriarchal society where females are still expected to be subservient in many ways to a man, and therefore kept as perpetual children.

But over time there has become a more noticeable difference between a girl and a woman. This is due to the independence that females have gained through being in the workforce; as well as achieving as much success as their male counterparts. Females don't have to rely on having someone else in their lives to "take care of them" any longer. Even with all the opportunities afforded to females to not have to rely on someone else, there are many that still remain subservient in society. These females have not realized the power they have within themselves. Below I will outline a few of the differences between a girl and a woman. These contradictions can also be applied to the differences between a boy and a man. Since I am a woman that is the perspective I am most familiar with and wrote about.

When a heartbreak happens, a girl will cry, then take revenge upon whomever broke their heart. This will be done by acts of retaliation directly to the person or their possessions, or via the passive aggressive vehicle of rumors, gossip and outright lying about the individual.

When a heartbreak happens, a woman will cry, think about what happened, learn from the experience, and then gather herself together by pulling herself up straight, head held high and walk away to move on with her life.

For attention, a girl will use whatever means necessary to make sure she is the center of attention. Those means could be as small as having a sneeze come out like a squeak, to laughing too loud to make sure she is noticed, to "dumbing" herself down to make her seem helpless.

For attention, a woman knows that all she has to do is walk in the room with her head held high, exuding confidence, knowing that after a while the other men and women in the room will get tired of the girl and move her way. A woman is able to hold a conversation showing her full intelligence and be self assured while exuding confidence in that intelligence.

A girl will let others dictate how she is to behave, speak or react in any given situation. That girl does not know her own worth or her own mind. She will pout and whine about how unfair and mean others are to her, not realizing it is her own behaviour, reactions and actions taught others how she wants to be treated.

A woman will dictate how she is to behave, speak or react in any given situation. That woman knows who she is, in all aspects of her life. A woman will not complain about how others treat her because she knows that even in adverse situations she will be respected because of who she is and how she handles herself.

A girl can't flirt without the expectation or thought that something more is meant by the flirtation. A girl doesn't know how to stop before things get out of hand and will continue because the ego trip of the attention is too compelling to stop.

A woman can flirt without the expectation or thought that something more is meant. The woman knows that flirting is just that flirting, and knows how far to take it before crossing any lines of impropriety.

A girl will get into a relationship expecting to be able to change the other person to suit HER wants and needs as well as feeling she MUST have someone to complete her and even worse it is expected.

A woman gets into a relationship not because she has to, but because she wants to be with the other person. A woman truly enjoys the companion she is with.

I am a woman plain and simple. I don't expect anything from anyone other than what they can give. I say what I mean and I mean what I say. I know what I want from and for myself and what I want from others. I don't follow the crowd, I walk to the beat of my own drum. If someone doesn't like me for what I say and do, then that's on them not on me. I'm not changing for anyone, and I don't expect anyone to change for me. I have a confidence in who I am now. I have been and am constantly under estimated, but that's fine by me. Others who doubt my capabilities are constantly amazed, and again, that's on them because it shows how much they think of their own competence and how well they think they know me.

A poem by Veronica Shoffstall comes to mind with this post:

After A While

After a while, you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security,
And youbegin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open,
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And learn to build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in midflight
And after a while, you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn and learn...
With every goodbye, you learn.

by Veronica A. Shoffstall


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    • LEWMaxwell profile image

      Leslie Schock 3 years ago from Tulsa, Oklahoma

      Very true Vonda. I've been realizing that as a woman, we tend to give more to others, and take nothing for ourselves and then we wonder why we feel so drained, so tired, so unfulfilled. Everything is so out of balance these days, because we as women are expected to do so much, to work, to take care of the house, take care of the children, to take care of ailing parents (if they are still alive), and if any of these things falls through the cracks, and isn't "perfect", we are held accountable. If we ask for help, or complain, we are then told we are selfish and immature. And the double standard still holds true that if a woman stands up for herself and has to throw a bit of a temper tantrum to get her point across she's called childish, a bitch and has an attitude, but when a man does it, he's just doing what he's supposed to be doing as a man. So, I've learned to not care what people think or say, especially men. Because they couldn't handle what I've been through and go through on a daily basis. But even though I know the latter, I will still give assistance to those who need my help. I will still be kind to others. I've learned that the kindness and compassion that we as women have innately is where our strength comes from and it is a gift from the Creator.

    • profile image

      Vonda 4 years ago

      Was recently prompted by an older woman who for some reason we end up at the gym at the same time. We tend to change on the same area and due to a conversatiom that we had, I began to jot down a few of my thoughts on womanhood. Anywho those thoughts turned into a few pages of thoughts which Im thinking about expanding on. Womanhood is so colorful that it's impossible to pinpoint or define. But at the end of the day a womans job is never she is always needed and appreciated by those that are dear to her as well as those she may not even know.

    • LEWMaxwell profile image

      Leslie Schock 4 years ago from Tulsa, Oklahoma

      At my place of work, they run rampant. It's pathetic actually. I ignore them, and keep my head down to try to avoid being slung with their mud. Doesn't always work, but for the most part it does.

    • stephanieb27 profile image

      stephanieb27 4 years ago from United States

      Enjoyed this hub too! I am also disturbed by the 40 and 50 something females that act like they are in high school. :)

    • LEWMaxwell profile image

      Leslie Schock 5 years ago from Tulsa, Oklahoma

      Thank you tsmog, it's ok, the letters were all there. :) Blessed Yule to you as well.

    • LEWMaxwell profile image

      Leslie Schock 5 years ago from Tulsa, Oklahoma

      Thank you. I was looking about one day and saw some 40 and 50 something females having the same attitudes as a female in high school. And a conversation with a good friend also prompted this hub. Thank you for reading and commenting. It is much appreciated.

    • tsmog profile image

      Tim Mitchell 5 years ago from Escondido, CA

      Quick Note: I misspelled LEWMaxwell earlier and the edit thingy was gone after discovery took place.

    • tsmog profile image

      Tim Mitchell 5 years ago from Escondido, CA

      Thank you LEWmaxwell for this contribution. Thank you Break of Dawn for sharing this article. Enough said - smile and have a great day 'Ladies' and Yuletide Greetings . . .


    • Break of Dawn profile image

      Break of Dawn 5 years ago

      Very interesting and thought-provoking hub. This makes me realize even more how lucky I am to be a woman and not a girl anymore, lol. Thank you!

    • LEWMaxwell profile image

      Leslie Schock 5 years ago from Tulsa, Oklahoma

      Vonda, always feel free to comment. It's how I learn different views, and gain an understanding of where someone else might be coming from.

    • profile image

      vonda g nelson 5 years ago

      Im glad that I read this hub this morning.....even though I want to add my 2 sense I won't. Voted up

    • LEWMaxwell profile image

      Leslie Schock 5 years ago from Tulsa, Oklahoma

      In my life, as I've grown older, and more especially as I've been on a journey of a more in depth type of self discovery, my female ancestors, both that I've known and those I've just heard stories about, are who I'm finding that I admire most at this time. All of them, each in different ways, are and/or were strong and define the type of woman I hope to become.

    • B. Leekley profile image

      Brian Leekley 5 years ago from Kalamazoo, Michigan, USA

      What you have done in this HubPages essay -- write down the characteristics of your ideal self and strive to be thus -- is an effective way to grow as a person. Consider having another look each New Years or birthday or other recurring meaningful date to see if you want to add to or modify your description of a woman.

      Are there women in your life, in history, or in fiction who especially exemplify the sort of woman you admire?

    • Patty Kenyon profile image

      Patty Kenyon 5 years ago from Ledyard, Connecticut

      Interesting Hub!!! Thanks for sharing!!