ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Girlfriends, Good Friends, and Best Friends, Freiendships Define.

Updated on February 7, 2015
Source

Friends

She grabs your Hello Kitty pencil and you giggle as she scribbles something down about a boy in your class. This is your best friend in 3rd grade. She slips you a note between 5th and 6th period wishing you luck on your exam. This is your best friend in middle school. She takes notes for you during your literature 101 class, so you can sleep off a hangover. This is a friend of yours in college.

Females have relayed on their girlfriends since the beginning of time. Women used to come to the red tent at the full moon and wash each other’s hair. Some of the older women will chat as they talk about selling their goat to pay for their daughter’s dowry.

The times have changed, but the sentiment and heartstrings between girlfriends are the backbone to a women’s strength. As women we reach out to our girlfriends when we want to share our stories. Laughter, compassion, recipes and tears immerse in words that women share back and forth. She is the one who can make you laugh until you literally pee in your pants; and the one you can explain that your incontinence is affecting you.

Female bonds are significant regardless of the depth of intimacy shared. However, there is a difference in how women relate to a girlfriend, good friend and best friend. Like a hierarchy triangle girlfriends are at the bottom of the wider section, because they are abundant blessings in our lives and make living and social media sweeter. Best friends are at the apex of the pyramid, they are a rare gem that crosses our paths every once in a while. Sectioned in the middle of our best friends and friends rests our good friends who sprinkle dependable support and are our buddy beyond 'words with friends.'

All Girlfriends are a Blessing and Necessary

 
Friend
Good Friend
Best Friend
Contact Information
Have data stored in your address book
Phone numbers stored on your cell phone
Number stored on speed dial as #1, 2 or 3
When It's Your Birthday
Mail you a card
Takes you out to dinner and gives you a small gift
Puts a lot of thought into your gift and she seems to know exactly what you want, without you ever thinking you wanted that gift
That Time of the Month
Let's you borrow a tampon
Will go to the store and pick you up a box of tampons
Will come over to your house with a heating pad, tampons, a chick flick and chocolate
Boyfriend Breakup or Divorce
Tells you if you need anything to let her know
Let’s you cry on her shoulder as you tell all the details
Offer’s her home to you if you need a place to stay, helps you rebuild your self-esteem
You go clothes shopping together
Smiles at all your outfits and says you look great in everything
Smiles at your outfits, but gently says which ones look better on you
Finds the perfect outfit for you and accessories, you look stunning
You have different political or religious views
You know your differences and just don’t go there in conversations
Every once in a while you talk about viewpoints either jokingly, or acknowledge differences
You are both open and considerate talking about different viewpoints and seem to learn a lot from each other.
Secrets
You discern what secrets to tell, keep most secrets to yourself
Share secrets you know she will understand and not shrink away
You are an open book to each other, sharing detail of your secrets. You never feel ashamed, judged or told you should have done things differently.
Not Enough Money
You are out for coffee and realize you did not bring your wallet. Friend loans you money but makes sure you know that you will pick up the next tab
Offers to buy your drink without any expectations of paying her back
Buys your coffee and sneaks an added cupcake to your order with a wink and a smile
You Cough on the Phone and say You Have the Flu
Mentions she hopes you feel better and to call when you can go out
Asks if you need anything and offers to make you soup
Comes to your home unannounced with soup and meds, takes your kids for the day so you can rest
You Work together on a Project
You enjoy her company, but feel you need to keep the peace and not bring up any disagreements
Seem to work well with each other bouncing off ideas
Has enough confidence that she does not worry about competition, encourages you to succeed with all your great attributes

Good Friends

In high school a good friend was the one who had a lot in common with you. She would pull you into the girls bathroom and share a new shade of lipstick before you go to chorus class together. Common interests seemed to gel friends to good friends. This year I will be celebrating my 20 year high school reunion. It reminds me that good friends in adulthood are not always glued by a common interest denominator. I now have good friends who have a strong difference in their choice of politics and religion than I do.

What makes a friend turn into a good friend is someone who can value core differences and honor the vastness of who you are to each other. There is a mutual respect that enables challenges for growth in your uniqueness and vice versa.

Additionally, she is dependable and brings joy when you are both together. You can confide in her about almost anything, and she will say the right thing at the right time. Good friends can hold different roles and do not necessarily fill every role. For instance you can have a good girl friend who is your after church breakfast buddy. Or a good girl friend who you always seek to have a fun time with, either watch movies together or go for a drink. She may not be able to talk about life's troubles with you, but she is always their to bring laughter and fun into your week.

Important to remember, is that all friends are necessary and the depth they provide in your life varies on how you both relate to each other, but that does not mean their relationship is less significant. Once we all try to stop hammering a friendship in a preconceived idea of how it ought to be and accept the gifts each one of your women friends give you despite any limitations we will reap more from the friendship as the wonderful value it is.

There is, however, that unique friend the emerges into a rare best friend with little to no effort. Like finding your female soul mate, she is the few who can complement the full spectrum of how you relate and offer a crevasse of depth beyond most friends.

Best Friends


Age, creed, race do not matter when it is a best friend. She is 10 years your senior or jewish when you are christian. Commonalities are not found outside of you, instead there are mutual webbing of similarities kindred from within. With best friends there is a silent unified reverence in how you relate to each other. She is your female soul mate. When you have a best friend you know how lucky you are. Some come for a certain phase in your life, blesses you and moves on. Some are you sister or mother who turned into your best friend and is their for the duration.

Girls friends are the scaffolding in a women's life. No matter what friendship roles you are for other's or they are for you all are valuable and necessary.

Carly Sullens 2012. All Rights Reserved.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • CarlySullens profile image
      Author

      CarlySullens 5 years ago from St. Louis, Missouri

      Thank you KDuBarry. Men have special relationships with their friends too.

    • profile image

      KDuBarry03 5 years ago

      Each friendship calls for different levels of closeness and desire :) Some friends, you can share while others you can't. Thank you for depicting what each friend is like! Sometimes, a good refresher is needed to avoid certain conflicts :)

    • Alecia Murphy profile image

      Alecia Murphy 5 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

      This is a great guide to friendship and very true. While I believe friends serve transient purposes in life like your BFF in Middle School may only be your acquaintance in college but you still respect and care for them. I really enjoyed reading this hub- great job!

    • CarlySullens profile image
      Author

      CarlySullens 5 years ago from St. Louis, Missouri

      Thank you teaches, I feel blessed to have a full spectrum of friends. And extremely blessed with a few best friends who are kindred spirit's.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      I have a few really good friends and out of them 1-2 best friends that represent your chart. Your topic was very well done and the article really captures the heart of friendship. I find that a kindred spirit clicks in when you meet a true friend. Voted up!

    • CarlySullens profile image
      Author

      CarlySullens 5 years ago from St. Louis, Missouri

      well, it is always good to know that you got my back with any incontinence issues in my golden years. Funny how you believe you do not deserve best friend status when I was thinking of you while creating it.

    • Julie DeNeen profile image

      Blurter of Indiscretions 5 years ago from Clinton CT

      Wow. That was great. I agree with Billy, loved the table! I'm honored to be your best friend! :) Though I don't think I deserve the title. I'm not half as wonderful as the best friend in the table LOL...but I would buy you a new pair of pants if you peed in them.

    • CarlySullens profile image
      Author

      CarlySullens 5 years ago from St. Louis, Missouri

      Thanks BillyBuc, those tables are fun to make, and easier than writing long paragraphs about similarities and differences. I want to write another piece about women and men being best friends. Because those platonic relationships are important too.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Very nice description of the three types of friendship. Nice job on the table in the middle as an illustration.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)