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Girlfriends, Good Friends, and Best Friends, Freiendships Define.

Updated on February 7, 2015


She grabs your Hello Kitty pencil and you giggle as she scribbles something down about a boy in your class. This is your best friend in 3rd grade. She slips you a note between 5th and 6th period wishing you luck on your exam. This is your best friend in middle school. She takes notes for you during your literature 101 class, so you can sleep off a hangover. This is a friend of yours in college.

Females have relayed on their girlfriends since the beginning of time. Women used to come to the red tent at the full moon and wash each other’s hair. Some of the older women will chat as they talk about selling their goat to pay for their daughter’s dowry.

The times have changed, but the sentiment and heartstrings between girlfriends are the backbone to a women’s strength. As women we reach out to our girlfriends when we want to share our stories. Laughter, compassion, recipes and tears immerse in words that women share back and forth. She is the one who can make you laugh until you literally pee in your pants; and the one you can explain that your incontinence is affecting you.

Female bonds are significant regardless of the depth of intimacy shared. However, there is a difference in how women relate to a girlfriend, good friend and best friend. Like a hierarchy triangle girlfriends are at the bottom of the wider section, because they are abundant blessings in our lives and make living and social media sweeter. Best friends are at the apex of the pyramid, they are a rare gem that crosses our paths every once in a while. Sectioned in the middle of our best friends and friends rests our good friends who sprinkle dependable support and are our buddy beyond 'words with friends.'

All Girlfriends are a Blessing and Necessary

Good Friend
Best Friend
Contact Information
Have data stored in your address book
Phone numbers stored on your cell phone
Number stored on speed dial as #1, 2 or 3
When It's Your Birthday
Mail you a card
Takes you out to dinner and gives you a small gift
Puts a lot of thought into your gift and she seems to know exactly what you want, without you ever thinking you wanted that gift
That Time of the Month
Let's you borrow a tampon
Will go to the store and pick you up a box of tampons
Will come over to your house with a heating pad, tampons, a chick flick and chocolate
Boyfriend Breakup or Divorce
Tells you if you need anything to let her know
Let’s you cry on her shoulder as you tell all the details
Offer’s her home to you if you need a place to stay, helps you rebuild your self-esteem
You go clothes shopping together
Smiles at all your outfits and says you look great in everything
Smiles at your outfits, but gently says which ones look better on you
Finds the perfect outfit for you and accessories, you look stunning
You have different political or religious views
You know your differences and just don’t go there in conversations
Every once in a while you talk about viewpoints either jokingly, or acknowledge differences
You are both open and considerate talking about different viewpoints and seem to learn a lot from each other.
You discern what secrets to tell, keep most secrets to yourself
Share secrets you know she will understand and not shrink away
You are an open book to each other, sharing detail of your secrets. You never feel ashamed, judged or told you should have done things differently.
Not Enough Money
You are out for coffee and realize you did not bring your wallet. Friend loans you money but makes sure you know that you will pick up the next tab
Offers to buy your drink without any expectations of paying her back
Buys your coffee and sneaks an added cupcake to your order with a wink and a smile
You Cough on the Phone and say You Have the Flu
Mentions she hopes you feel better and to call when you can go out
Asks if you need anything and offers to make you soup
Comes to your home unannounced with soup and meds, takes your kids for the day so you can rest
You Work together on a Project
You enjoy her company, but feel you need to keep the peace and not bring up any disagreements
Seem to work well with each other bouncing off ideas
Has enough confidence that she does not worry about competition, encourages you to succeed with all your great attributes

Good Friends

In high school a good friend was the one who had a lot in common with you. She would pull you into the girls bathroom and share a new shade of lipstick before you go to chorus class together. Common interests seemed to gel friends to good friends. This year I will be celebrating my 20 year high school reunion. It reminds me that good friends in adulthood are not always glued by a common interest denominator. I now have good friends who have a strong difference in their choice of politics and religion than I do.

What makes a friend turn into a good friend is someone who can value core differences and honor the vastness of who you are to each other. There is a mutual respect that enables challenges for growth in your uniqueness and vice versa.

Additionally, she is dependable and brings joy when you are both together. You can confide in her about almost anything, and she will say the right thing at the right time. Good friends can hold different roles and do not necessarily fill every role. For instance you can have a good girl friend who is your after church breakfast buddy. Or a good girl friend who you always seek to have a fun time with, either watch movies together or go for a drink. She may not be able to talk about life's troubles with you, but she is always their to bring laughter and fun into your week.

Important to remember, is that all friends are necessary and the depth they provide in your life varies on how you both relate to each other, but that does not mean their relationship is less significant. Once we all try to stop hammering a friendship in a preconceived idea of how it ought to be and accept the gifts each one of your women friends give you despite any limitations we will reap more from the friendship as the wonderful value it is.

There is, however, that unique friend the emerges into a rare best friend with little to no effort. Like finding your female soul mate, she is the few who can complement the full spectrum of how you relate and offer a crevasse of depth beyond most friends.

Best Friends

Age, creed, race do not matter when it is a best friend. She is 10 years your senior or jewish when you are christian. Commonalities are not found outside of you, instead there are mutual webbing of similarities kindred from within. With best friends there is a silent unified reverence in how you relate to each other. She is your female soul mate. When you have a best friend you know how lucky you are. Some come for a certain phase in your life, blesses you and moves on. Some are you sister or mother who turned into your best friend and is their for the duration.

Girls friends are the scaffolding in a women's life. No matter what friendship roles you are for other's or they are for you all are valuable and necessary.

Carly Sullens 2012. All Rights Reserved.


Submit a Comment
  • CarlySullens profile imageAUTHOR

    Carly Sullens 

    6 years ago from St. Louis, Missouri

    Thank you KDuBarry. Men have special relationships with their friends too.

  • profile image


    6 years ago

    Each friendship calls for different levels of closeness and desire :) Some friends, you can share while others you can't. Thank you for depicting what each friend is like! Sometimes, a good refresher is needed to avoid certain conflicts :)

  • Alecia Murphy profile image

    Alecia Murphy 

    6 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

    This is a great guide to friendship and very true. While I believe friends serve transient purposes in life like your BFF in Middle School may only be your acquaintance in college but you still respect and care for them. I really enjoyed reading this hub- great job!

  • CarlySullens profile imageAUTHOR

    Carly Sullens 

    6 years ago from St. Louis, Missouri

    Thank you teaches, I feel blessed to have a full spectrum of friends. And extremely blessed with a few best friends who are kindred spirit's.

  • teaches12345 profile image

    Dianna Mendez 

    6 years ago

    I have a few really good friends and out of them 1-2 best friends that represent your chart. Your topic was very well done and the article really captures the heart of friendship. I find that a kindred spirit clicks in when you meet a true friend. Voted up!

  • CarlySullens profile imageAUTHOR

    Carly Sullens 

    6 years ago from St. Louis, Missouri

    well, it is always good to know that you got my back with any incontinence issues in my golden years. Funny how you believe you do not deserve best friend status when I was thinking of you while creating it.

  • Julie DeNeen profile image

    Blurter of Indiscretions 

    6 years ago from Clinton CT

    Wow. That was great. I agree with Billy, loved the table! I'm honored to be your best friend! :) Though I don't think I deserve the title. I'm not half as wonderful as the best friend in the table LOL...but I would buy you a new pair of pants if you peed in them.

  • CarlySullens profile imageAUTHOR

    Carly Sullens 

    6 years ago from St. Louis, Missouri

    Thanks BillyBuc, those tables are fun to make, and easier than writing long paragraphs about similarities and differences. I want to write another piece about women and men being best friends. Because those platonic relationships are important too.

  • billybuc profile image

    Bill Holland 

    6 years ago from Olympia, WA

    Very nice description of the three types of friendship. Nice job on the table in the middle as an illustration.


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