Girls Guide to First Dates
Going out on the first date is a daunting experience for any girl/woman. Chances are that you will change your wardrobe at least 10 (ten) times before finally settling on something to wear AND then you will change it again another 2 (two) times. Hair and makeup is another challenge, all together. So the key is to give yourself enough time to get ready before your date. Start selecting your outfit at least two days before the ‘Big Night’ and play with makeup and hair options.
Whatever you settle on wearing, make sure that you can breathe and move in. Of course looking sexy and flawless is the goal when getting dressed up, but you are not going to look elegant when you are stumbling around in new ‘toe pinching’ stilettos, while twisting your ankles on the rocky road as you walk into the restaurant. And believe it or not, turning blue during the conversation because you are not able to breathe in your rib crushing corset, is not as attractive as you may think. You are stunning, so focus on enhancing your natural attractions, which will take the attention off of those ‘trouble areas’.
Very important: SAFETY FIRST! This amazing guy could also be an amazing serial killer. So ensure that someone knows exactly who you are going out with, where and when you will be home. And have a back-up plan so if you feel uneasy/uncomfortable, you have an exit strategy (such as a code word that lets your friends know that something is not right, etc.). It is scary that we have to think this way, but being blindly trusting is not wise. Please keep safe and be aware of your surroundings.
Outfit Do's and Don'ts
Dress for the occassion (formal, informal or semi formal)
Avoid items like fishnet stockings, large amounts of jewellery and heavy make-up
A good pair of jeans can be perfect for most occassions and they can be easily dressed up with a smart/stylish jacket and stilletos.
Remember you are on a date and it's not a 'working' date, so avoid mini skirts that reveal more than just some leg and keep your cleverage display to a minimal
If you are going to a fancy restuarant then the classic 'little black dress' will never steer you wrong.
Do not squeeze yourself into any outfit or use slimming garments that restrict your movements and never wear brand new shoes - pintched toes makes for uncomfortable walking
Here are 10 Tips to get you through your first date:
1. Be On Time
If you value the person that you are meeting, then you will be on time. Plan your time properly to ensure that you arrive on time for your first date. Hair, makeup, outfits and transport should be decided and arrange well in advanced.
2. If your date is a dinner date – then you need to eat
Men are not impressed with woman that do not eat on a dinner date, you will not appear any slimmer, sexier or mysterious if you do not eat; in fact you will probably make your date feel uncomfortable and uneasy. People bond over food, so if you are not eating, well then your date it pretty much bonding with him/herself. You want to be interesting and confident, so your date that you are relaxed and comfortable with yourself. This of course does not mean that you need to binge on everything in sight. If you are nervous, pick something that is easy to eat and do not go for foods that require you to eat with your hands.
3. Do not play with your phone
Besides this being very rude, it displays complete disrespect for your date. Just imagine how you would feel if your date was to play with his/her phone while you are trying to have a conversation. If you are having a bad time on your date, rather end the date than be rude.
Just one last thing regarding playing with your phone while on a date, as socially savvy as you are – tweeting and posting comments while you are on your date, may seem like a great idea; it is not! What you do after the date is completely up to you, but it is not lady-like to be rude and unpleasant to your date.
4. You look good – So Stop Fussing!
If you are going to be jumping up every 5 minutes to go and check your hair or reapply your lipstick, it is going to give the impression that you are more interested in your appearance than your date. Focus on displaying your fun personality and getting to know your date. Be bathroom break smart - bathroom breaks should be timed appropriately (for example: after eating) so that you can check that everything is in place and that you do not have any food in your teeth.
5. Alcohol – Know your limits
Even though you are so nervous and your stomach is doing acrobatics, consuming excessive alcohol is not the smart choice. You may think you are more fun and flirty when you have had a ‘few’ drinks, but flirting with the whole restaurant/bar when you are on your first date is a clear ‘No-No’. Know your limits! You do not want to embarrass yourself by slurring your words, getting uncomfortably loud or even having your date carry you out of the restaurant.
6. Ask questions
Keep the conversation flowing by asking simple, generic questions such as:
What work does he/she do and how he/she likes his work
What hobbies or interests does he/she have
Favourite music or sports
Avoid conversation topics and questions about:
His Exes and DO NOT discuss yours!
Don’t complain and moan about your friends, family or work
7. Don’t talk about other guys
Airing your dirty ‘dating’ laundry on the first date is a quick way to ensure that there will not be a second date. Keep the conversation focused on you and your date. If he asks any questions, rather direct the conversation back to something that is positive in your life at that particular moment.
8. Offer to Pay
We are not in the Eighteen Hundreds anymore, woman can offer to pay without coming across as being rude or dominant. Don’t just grab the check when it comes. Of course it would be much easier and less uncomfortable if this was decided and agreed upon before the date, but if not just ask if you can pay or if he/she would like to split the bill. Chances are, that your date will decline, so then you can always offer to either pay for dessert or movies. You don’t want to appear dominant nor do you want him/her to think that you are expecting them to pay.
9. Stalking is STRICTLY prohibited!
So you feel that the date went exceptionally well and you feel that there is definitely a ‘spark’ there – well one way to ensure that you completely extinguish any chance of a future with this ‘Perfect Match’ would be to stalk them, whether you do drive-byes, via social media, texting or calling; any of these could turn a steaming hot prospective relationship into an ice cold dead relationship – fast!
If you have had a great time on your date and you would like to send him/her a message the next day, keep it casual.
Acceptable next day text:
“I really enjoyed our date last night. Thank you.”
Unacceptable next day text:
“WOW.. U r so amazing, I just loved our time together last night & I can’t wait 2 see u again. Do u want 2 meet my folks tonight? I will wait for your response XXX”
10. Kiss, Hug, Shake Hands or Run?
What to do? The date could have been the most amazing date every; or the most horrid experience of your life, but all of them end with this awkward moment of the ‘what to do’ decision. Should I give him/her a hug, a kiss on the cheek, perhaps a firm handshake or should I jump out of the car and run? Well of course the soul discretion is yours, but I would recommend that you play it calm.
If your night has been mutually amazing (you will tell this if he/she put his/her arm around you, touched your hand, flirted) – then I would suggest giving him/her a kiss good night and remember to say “thank you” for the evening.
If you are not sure if he/she enjoyed themselves as much as you did, then give them a hug good night. If your date really enjoyed your company, chances are that he/her will give you a kiss. And once again, remember to say “thank you” for the evening.
If you are not sure if you are interested in a second date, then give a handshake and say “thank you”.
If this was the worst experience of your life and all you want is for this nightmare to end, I would suggest ending the evening before it even gets to the ‘awkward’ moment. If you have taken your own vehicle to the meet up with your date, Good Thinking! It is easier to say thank you and good night and head off in your own directions, than if you are to be stuck in the same vehicle while he/she drives you home.
If you find yourself having to be driven home by nightmare date, then try to block any forms of affection by talking about sports/work (anything neutral and definitely not anything romantic) then be polite and thank him/her in the vehicle on the way home. When the vehicle stops outside your home, immediately unbuckle your seat belt, grab your handbag and climb out of the vehicle (you don’t want to give your date the impression that you are waiting for something). Then before you close the vehicle door, just thank him/her once again and say “good night”.
Going on your first date with a new guy/gal can be stressful, exciting and daunting all at the same time, but by remembering that it is always important to be yourself and be respectful towards your date is the best way to leave a great first impression. Do not be too flirtatious, as you would like to leave something for future dates and as I am sure you have heard the saying “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” Well, even though no lady likes to be called a cow, we also do not like to be called easy. Leave your date intrigued and wanting to get to know you more.
GOOD LUCK LADIES AND REMEMBER TO HAVE FUN!