- Gender and Relationships
Give me a “good bye” : if not anything else !
“Good bye may seem forever. Farewell is like the end, but in my heart is the memory and there you will always be.” ― Walt Disney Company
We tend to use a word ‘Good BYE’ all the time, which is often taken to be with a little heart aching for the loved ones. From the wiktionery (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/goodbye) the meaning may be referred as “farewell; a formula used to another person or persons when the speaker or writer or person addressed is departing.” We use it so commonly that we do not have time to think about this small way of etiquette. But it may carry a very different world of meaning in it. It is known to all that the word “goodbye” is derived from the phrase "God be with you."
It will be easier to understand if we check earlier varieties of the expression, such as ‘God be wy you’, ‘god b'w'y’, ‘godbwye’, ‘god buy ye’, and ‘good-b'wy’. The first word “God” is replaced by ‘Good’. A communication of 1573 written by Gabriel Harvey contains the original recorded use of “goodbye”: so to quote it, "To requite your gallonde [gallon] of godbwyes, I regive you a pottle of howdyes," reminding another short form that is still used (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/good-bye). This is a manner actually used as recognition or phrase of benevolence at separation. The thesaurus offers a collection of words as, ‘bye-bye, good day, good-by, good-bye, goodby, sayonara, so long, adieu, adios, arrivederci, bye, see you later, ciao (Italian), cheerio, adieu, adios(Spanish) Well, goodbye and good luck, ta-ta, aurevoir (French), aufiedersehen (German) etc. There are two types of ‘Good bye’s – temporary and permanent. Temporary ‘Good bye’ can be going for a leave, or vacation etc. And permanent ‘Good bye’ can be death. Divorce, breakups, immigration etc. The permanent ‘Good bye’ may shake the entire faith and confidence system of the people associated. The temporary parting may lead to short term depression and a feeling of loneliness but that can be recovered with little effort and time.
The story of life is quicker then the blink of an eye, the story of love is hello, goodbye..... Jimi Hendrix
This simple phrase may have different meaning to different people. For a professional relationship a polite ‘good bye” is a way to be open for future beneficial acquaintances. A co-worker leaving for some better opportunities may have some advice in future and a nice ‘Good bye for now’ will lead to a cordial future relationship ahead through mails, phone calls etc. But for a retiring person again the ‘Good bye’ on the farewell day is something of a very emotional experience. It’s better to make the day pleasantly memorable for the retiring person as he had offered the most precious and active time of his life to the organization in question. So, some personalized cards with signatures from all the colleagues if possible with some time appropriate gift item may make the ‘Good bye’ little easier.
“Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say goodnight till it be morrow.” ― William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet
But then, a good bye to a loved one will be deeply aching. Mainly it will depend on the depth of relationship that is going to be affected with the partition among the people concerned. Parting with people is a natural process of life so far that make us ready to face it head on with a more realistic approach. Some times it’s better to say ‘Good bye’ for new openings, new opportunities, and freedom to explore newer perspectives etc. With nearest ones, it’s always better to plan for a beautiful way to say ‘Good bye’ so that later both the concerned persons may hang on to those wonderful memories. May be with a nice meeting at the favourite spot of both the people concerned or over a nice cup of coffee or anything that both used to enjoy together. A recollection of initial stages of relationship, with happy moments together and the value in one’s life that particular person hold should be spoken of to inform the feelings across so that the ‘Good bye’ becomes a way to connect more in future. Some friendships are very rare which cross many length of understanding in general sense so it becomes harder to say those two simple words many a time. It’s important for a tangible plan to keep in touch in near future. So that the relationship remains fresh and the distance only makes it realize the value of the other person more than ever. Then old photographs of those treasured together - time can make us giggle and cry at the same time. Some small token or gift items even may make those memory get refreshed and thus can be arranged while saying a “Good bye” to the precious ones.
Only in the agony of parting do we look into the depths of love. ~George Eliot
The ‘Good bye’ in case of a broken family is always very complicated. So one should try to keep dignity and the broken marriage or family issue should be handled very delicately because it should be realized that the other party concerned is also going through a very rough phase in life. The upheaval is never the less easy for either party associated or if there is children then a diplomatic break up should be called for to decrease the trauma as much as possible. A cordial attitude and a proper ‘Good bye’ may go a long way to show the loss is incomparable and there can be at least some sympathy toward the children. This kind of ‘Good bye’ may help in long run to recover from the unfortunate experience.
I have had a happy life and thank the Lord. Goodbye and may God bless all! Christopher McCandless
Final ‘Good bye’ to the departed one and it’s a never ending empty feeling all throughout. That is the hardest let me tell you. But one should accept it and let it go. To remember the person departed with respect and if possible following his/her advice and dreams if any, may go a long way to say a hearty final ‘Good bye’ to keep the memories alive in heart. With nice flowers and a loving way to bid adieu to the departing one is the least we can offer as a respect and care.
Can miles truly separate you from friends.... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there? ~Richard Bach
The way ‘Good bye’ is uttered is what lingers with the memory of that partition for a life time. A sweet ‘Good bye’ is never happier but then there is no hard feelings attached with it. But any ‘Good bye’ with anger and hatred simply is always connected with much heartache, repentance and negative feeling within. Many a time it is not in the control of the persons concerned and goes against their wish. The partition is always little bit related with insecurity and the question may linger about the future prospect of meeting the person again in life. The means of keeping in touch now a day are many like facebook, twitter, mails, skype, phone calls, texting etc. So for those wish to be in touch after a formal ‘Good bye’, even larger distance becomes very small in front of the strong inclination toward each other.
Great is the art of beginning, but greater is the art of ending. ~Lazurus Long
A ‘Good bye’ is always not that bad. Its better actually then not pronouncing and leaving the other party wondering what went wrong and trust me it can kill the mind and happiness within to a great extant. The knowledge that somebody who was very near to you has left the relationship abandoned without actually citing the reasons can push a person’s mind into a mere state of numbness provided that relationship holds a precious position. The ‘Good bye’ is that way is a symbol of respect and the level of understanding one hold for another. It shows that both the parties concerned respect the relationship. To say ‘Good bye’ is a way to show that you have not taken it for granted. So be it and at least a simple “Good bye” is not always so negative. It’s all right to cry a little and then get up and do something that you love to do and feel refreshed. Life does not stop there. Simple meditation and calming the mind to make you stronger is what is essential to feel the “Good bye” can be other side of the coin of “Hello, Life!” even. There is always a new day and next time. Sometimes “Good bye” is the way to show that you respect and value the relationship so it’s necessary to conclude anything on a sweet note which is been started off in warmth and affection. Little understanding in that regard may lead to a sea of change in many lives. So then “Good bye” until my next hub here….till then keep smiling !!!!!...:-)