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Giving Away Your Love Just To Earn It Back

Updated on November 6, 2014

Why you even love in the first place

At first the feeling was numb; a strange comfort of which the heart and the mind were at peace and the only irrational threat came from the need of wanting more. I look back at this time, a time in which high hopes were realistic and questionable hurt was never present in one's thoughts, and I ask myself, "How could you have been so carefree to give away your heart?"

The only answer I can come up with is that love is the strongest emotion and sometimes it's just too strong to be held back so we as people give in, hoping that maybe, just maybe, love has a reason of wanting to be released.

And for some reason, there's usually no reason.

Your love is gone now, kiddo.

Once the heart has been broken and the tears have been shed, you will then learn to live every day with regret. This regret comes from holding onto false hope, not from the one you chose to love, but from yourself and it will irritate you to no end knowing you fed yourself food of unreasoning.

At this point, regret transforms into hate and you literally begin the cycle of what I like to call "Destructive BS." Destructive because at this point you will ruin everything that was once special about yourself and BS because at the end of the day what you're going through is bullshit.

Most of everyone after losing someone begins to try and become all that they're not in attempts to impress those who once cared and also those who never cared. On top of trying to change yourself, or in other words, "better yourself" you as a whole are sad to no end trying to do anything to make yourself happy.

Well today I'm here to tell you how NOT to go through the Destructive BS faze.

Help yourself realize where your love lies.

1.Seek Approval from YOURSELF.

I've seen it a million times, felt it probably what feels like a million more, to realize that trying to impress your ex is the saddest attempt to win an approval. Being rejected by love is one of the hardest things to face, especially if it's from someone who once thought so highly of you, but instead of just accepting that their new version of you is horribly tampered with, we as idiots try our hardest to change their minds in hopes of them wanting us back. At the end of the day though, you have to remind yourself "If they don't love me today, no worries, I'll love myself tomorrow."

2. Tell your sad self to go **** itself.

When I'm sad, I'm sickeningly sad. I melt myself to sad music like Adele or Maroon Five's classic hit "She Will Be Loved." I won't leave my rooms for weeks, and I literally stand in front of the mirror while crying which then makes me cry more. I'll read old texts, look at old pictures, I literally drive myself insane. It wasn't until my first really bad break up that I realized that this whole "let yourself be sad, it's okay" coping system was a complete failure. Don't listen to sad songs, of coarse you're going to cry! You yourself literally has to tell the sad version of you to go somewhere else and when you say goodbye make sure they take all the pity in the world with them!

3. Regret the time you waste on them after the break up, not during.

Remember, you fell in love by giving yourself hope, and back then when you did it, it felt amazing. Now that it's over, don't spend your time thinking back to how it started and what happened during the relationship, it's in the past and thinking hasn't even gotten scientist to be able to time travel. If you're going to regret anything, regret how long it actually takes you to stop regretting.

& Now, Win your love back.

Once you go through the proper steps of letting go you will then find yourself being able to love again. Though you may give your love to the wrong person again and you might find yourself trying to win that love back again, you at least now have the chance to happily lose that love forever and just by that gives you hope once more.


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      Rhonda 3 years ago

      Wow Kayla you touched my heart. Life is a journey and to see you express in words is amazing. Love is amazing. Hold your head high and follow ur heart. Proud of you.

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      Whitney gunn 3 years ago

      You go Kayla!! Everyone be jealous that I am the sister of a truest great writer!!! Keep sharing your thoughts and feeling with the world little sis!! I love you!!!!

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      Diana Gunn 3 years ago

      i am truly amazed at my daughters insight. We want to sheild our children away from pain but there are things they have to go through themselves to learn life's lessons and it is nice when you see them grow from their expetiences. Very proud of you and your gift to this world...

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      Samantha fernandez 3 years ago

      You really do have a way with words.

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      Jon Gunn 3 years ago

      Wow! One of the hardest things in life is watching your children learn the hard lessons in life while being hurt by someone they love but it is also a great honor knowing they are growing as an adult. My daughter has a gift for putting emotions into words! Truly a gift! Well written blog and I am very proud.