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Good Girls Want Bad Boys, Good Guys Want Bad Girls...What Is The Real Deal?

Updated on April 18, 2012
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It's Springtime...So Love Is In The Air

Or is it? Yesterday on Facebook, I shared a link that states "Good Girls Go Bad Because of Bad Boys". Above it, I added "This is why some girls have their guard up." Then a couple of friends I knew since high school commented on their views about the link. One of them asked, "What about boys who turn bad because of bad girls?" I liked it because it is not just women who go through these issues. It brought an interesting question: Why do men and women date or have sex with people who are clearly "bad news" for them? And what is this hype about these "bad boys" or "bad girls" anyway?

What is it about "bad boys" or "bad girls" that turn these "good girls" or "good guys" on?

If you really want to know the answer, it is the excitement that turn these "good ladies and gentlemen" on. It is that these "bad boys" or "bad girls" have a certain edge that largely contrast the lives of those who supposedly live good lives and they are willing to explore it. They could already tried to date a "good boy" or "good girl" and did not find them exciting due to the lack of spontaneity or "drama" there.

Why "good girls" or "good guys" choose those type of people over other "good people"?

Like I have mentioned before, it is the excitement and the thrill of dating someone who has an edge. However, there are some who sought after those people in hopes to change their "bad" ways. Those type of people do this out of a place called ego. Before you get on me about this, really think about it. In order to feel like they have a purpose, they tend to want to help someone who is "troubled" or "living life on the edge". They want to be the one to truly help this person in order to feel like they have accomplished the impossible. They also want to feel like they made this person to who they want them to be. In this case, they want to reform their "bad ways".

The problem with that is:

You cannot make him or her change. They have to want to change for themselves. Not for you. Even if they supposedly want to change their ways, they will put too much of their issues onto you to the point that they make you accountable for everything they do. In other words, they will cling onto you for everything. Let them deal with their OWN ISSUES first. You are not responsible for them.

What makes a "good girl" or a "good guy" turn bad?

What makes a person bad would be due to bad experiences with the "bad boy" or "bad girl". They tend to have their guard up to the point that they could not distinguish the bad apples from the good ones. Another factor would be because they get so tired of being the "good girl" or "good guy" and being a pushover for those who chase after "bad guys" or "bad girls" that they simply do not care anymore and act like a "bad boy" or "bad girl".

For those who complain about "good girls" dating "bad boys" or vice versa:

Stop complaining about it and making it a big issue. Let them date who they want to date. First of all, why would you want to date these type of people anyway? Think about it. Those who sought after these kind of people LOVE THE DRAMA. They are the type of people that get you in trouble with the law, make you pay for whatever error you may have made, and bring the worst out of you mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. One worst case scenario was when I watched a video on Youtube and this guy's friend was dating a woman that previously dated a "bad boy". This man helped this woman financially, took care of her kids (which weren't his), never cheated on her, was attentive and was in love with her. When they got into a big argument, he walked away. However, the woman called the police and claimed that he assaulted her. She intentionally bruised herself up in the other room so she can present to the police as "evidence". As a result, he was arrested for a crime he did not commit. This story was sad to me because it gave women who were really abused more issues when it comes to coming out to the proper authorities about a real abuse. It also ruined the man's life.

Solution:

For those who struggle in the dating world to find a suitable mate, do not chase after people who do not have something going for themselves apart from causing mischief and drama in their own lives. Do not date people who has a thrill out of having or causing drama. Nor do not try to change them, because in life, people change IN THEIR OWN TERMS.

In addition, to the "good girl" or the"good guy", keep being good to yourself and to others as well. In life, you will kiss many frogs before you find your King or Queen. Sooner or later, when you least expect it, you will find someone in your life that will take your breath away. 

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    • shaynadc89 profile image
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      Shayna Cacho 5 years ago from Brooklyn, NY, Living in Delaware

      Thanks! I've noticed that as well and I think it is for various reasons. Maybe it is because for some, they like their "innocence" and the excitement of turning a "good girl" bad or they wanted a change of scenery LOL. Thanks for commenting!

    • Crissylite profile image

      Crissylite 5 years ago

      Good article. I've also seen some "bad boys" out there attracted to "good girls?"