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Four Proofs of Real Love

Updated on October 18, 2016
MsDora profile image

MsDora, Certified Christian Counselor initiated the Purity Circle to guide and empower individuals desiring to pursue the purity lifestyle.

There are more than 200,000 books on love in the Amazon book store. Yet, young and old still find it difficult to define love, and more difficult still to prove that they’ve found it.

a feeling you feel when you feel that you’re feeling a feeling you never felt before.

— Source unknown
Expressions of Love by John Hain
Expressions of Love by John Hain | Source

If I would add anything to the quote above, I would clarify the feeling as “satisfying, not sickening.”

I would also propose that love is more than a feeling. It is primarily a virtue gifted to us by the God, the Source of love. The focus in this hub is the male-female relationship which has potential to become the primary love relationship, leading to romance and marriage.

Although much of the cultural symbolism in the Song of Solomon (also known as the Song of Songs), is not familiar to us, the love principles shine through clearly. Among them are four basic characteristics of the relationship. Without these, whatever is happening between two people cannot be considered true love.

(1) Love is Self-Affirming

Woman: “I am a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys.” (2:1)

Man's response: “Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the young women.” (2:2)

"The Engagement" by Percy Robert Craft
"The Engagement" by Percy Robert Craft | Source

In the Song , the woman (believed to be Solomon’s Shulamite bride) compares herself to an exquisite flower. Sharon in Solomon’s day was one of the largest valley-plains in Palestine and “was considered a wild, fertile plain that had many beautiful flowers in it. Sharon was known for its beauty and majesty.”

The woman affirms her own beauty, by referring to herself as a product of Sharon. There are several ways for her lover to respond.

  • He could warn her about being overconfident.
  • He could hang his head back and laugh to suggest that she is being foolish.
  • He could even humiliate her by stating that he does not agree.

Instead, he lovingly reassures her that she is as beautiful as she says she is.

The woman's self-affirmation comes from the awareness of her self-worth and the joy of sharing her value with someone who deserves her. What a comfortable feeling to assert herself as the woman she thinks she is, and have her lover support her! If you’re in love, you can relate.

2) Love is Respectful

The woman's friends: “How is your beloved better than others?” (5:9)

The woman: “My beloved is radiant and ruddy, outstanding among ten thousand.” (5:10)

Lovers hold the object of their love in high regard. They speak commendably of each other. For example, the Shulamite’s friends ask her the question every person in love will have to answer at some point.

It may be phrased differently, like, “What makes you so sure that you made the right choice?”

Then she adds a description of his wavy hair, his dove-like eyes, and all the other parts of his physique, and concludes with “he is altogether lovely.” She admires the total package.

The Spices Big Girls Are Made Of discusses the “choice fruits” with which he compares her. He mentions plants which symbolize purity, resilience, adaptability, versatility, practicality and other positive womanhood virtues.

The two people are proud of each other. If you got love in the truest sense, you and your beloved share a similar, mutual pride. You have no reservations when you explain how right you are for each other.

3) Love Does Not Hide

"Like the finest apple tree in the orchard is my lover among other young men. I sit in his delightful shade and taste his delicious fruit. He escorts me to the banquet hall; it’s obvious how much he loves me." (2: 3,4)

  • Ever have to wait in a room across the hall while your beloved meets a friend?
  • Stay in the car while he or she drops something off at mother's house?
  • Find something to do while he or she attends a social function with colleagues whose shop-talk (in the opinion of your beloved) will not interest you?

The red flag pops up when one lover has reasons for excluding the other at times and places where there is no good reason for requesting his or her absence.

The man in the Song takes his beloved to a public function and she is thrilled to be seated in the shade of his influence. They have no hesitation about being seen together. Their love thrives in the company of others. If you're in love, you understand the meaning of exclusive togetherness in a crowd of other people. Sometimes, being together is even more important than enjoying the event.

4) Love Is Enduring

“Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away.” (8:7).

True love is “patient. . . It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13: 4, 7).

Photo by George Hodan
Photo by George Hodan | Source

Regardless of the strength of love, lovers experience misunderstandings and hurdles beyond their control. Still they are not quick to break-up, or search for another possible lover. Their attitude is similar to the lovers’ in the Song.

Lovers who can deal with and survive conflict know that they got the real thing. Barring abuse or any form of destructive behavior, wise lovers mount their difficulties together and enjoy the calm after the storm.

Lovers visualize being a part of each other’s lives forever. They anticipate marriage and sexual intimacy as a part of that future.


Got love?

If any of these four characteristics are absent from your relationship, you’re not experiencing adequate love.

If all four are strong in your relationship, you have the foundation of a love worth nurturing.

Scripture quotations are from the New International Version.

© 2011 Dora Isaac Weithers


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    • Paul Kuehn profile image

      Paul Richard Kuehn 5 years ago from Udorn City, Thailand

      A great hub Ms Dora. I agree with everything you write.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 5 years ago from The Caribbean

      You made me smile, Paul. Thanks!

    • Dave Mathews profile image

      Dave Mathews 5 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

      Amen MsDora! True love is all of this and much more.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks Dave. My thoughts exactly!

    • CMerritt profile image

      Chris Merritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana

      This is an excellent hub, and I will bookmark this one for future needs. This is a must read by so many.

      Blessings to you for this work.


    • profile image

      Eddie-Perkins 5 years ago

      This is beautiful MsDora, Entertaining, educational, fun and easy reading. I love the funniest definition. I’m going to steal that. This statement should be framed – I love it; “If you're in love, you understand the meaning of exclusive togetherness in a crowd of other people.” There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a couple sitting in a public place, oblivious to others and lost in each other. Vote up beautiful and useful. Blessings ~ eddie

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks CMerritt. Happy to write something that you want to read.

      Eddie-Perkins, thanks for your comments. I bet people see that beauty in watching you two.

    • Barbsbitsnpieces profile image

      Barbara Anne Helberg 5 years ago from Napoleon, Henry County, Ohio, USA


      True love is not a fleeting emotion, but an enduring work of art!

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Barbs, that's a lovely and true expression. Thanks!

    • Zabbella profile image

      Zabbella 5 years ago from NJ-USA

      This was beautiful. I had started reading Song of Solomon, and it was a little difficult to read because of the cultural differences. I will try to read it again. You have re-newed my interest.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Glad you'll try reading it again, Zabella. Find a translation that separates the dialogue for the male, female and friends and that should help. Thanks for reading and commenting.

    • The Dirt Farmer profile image

      Jill Spencer 5 years ago from United States

      Beautifully done, MsDora. Love truly is a series of decisions one makes, not just a feeling. Thanks for expressing so clearly some of the wisdom of the Song of Solomon, a book which many seem to regard as more literature than Scripture. It is beautiful, but as you've shown, it's much much more.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks for your input, Dirt Farmer. I agree with your opinion about the Song of Solomon.

    • SimpleGiftsofLove profile image

      SimpleGiftsofLove 5 years ago from Colorado

      Nice job MsDora, just catching up on my reading...Thanks for the reminders....Up, interesting, useful and beautiful and still following!

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 5 years ago from The Caribbean

      I appreciate you so much. Thanks for stopping by, no matter when. Your votes mean much to me.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Proofs of Real Love is an awesome read and you shared this hub beautifully with a great mind.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 3 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thank you, DDE. Your comment is really encouraging.

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