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Great Advice from a Divorced Man after Twenty Years of Marriage

Updated on January 22, 2018
DDE profile image

Devika enjoys sharing her work with a friendly community. Writing is a big part of her life. Online work has improved her lifestyle.

Love and Marriages


Her heart must be taken care of by you or else someone else would take care of her heart for you. Make sure you keep that love forever, don't let anyone steal her away from you.

Focus on the best in your partner, and on what makes you two good together. If it is love that makes you sparkle then hold your marriage together with love.

  • If you can't see anything else but love then you got it all.

You don't need to make her a different person that she can do on her very own.

Control your own feelings, don't expect er to control your feelings. No woman can make their husbands the happiest. It is up to the woman and the man to make their own happiness and up to the man to control his emotions, from sadness to happiness.

Whatever, he does should affect his own emotions.

  • He should be responsible for what and how he feels.

Blaming your partner for anything is wrong. She made you feel at your best when you first met so now you think about what makes you feel at your best. It is not about her more about you.

Your woman should be in her own mind, thinking of herself and not you thinking of her and making her decisions.

She needs to know you are there for her if needed. There is no need for pressuring her into an upset moment. Never leave her alone if she feels sad, or disappointed. Show her you are there and that she has a shoulder to cry on if ever needed.

  • You must pay attention to her conversations.

Life is unpredictable. Laughing makes it feel greater. Instead of taking every moment seriously use a bit of laughter to get things right in your relationships.

In this way you can feel very much at ease with each other.

Make her feel good about herself don't just see her as a helper or the one who puts your food on time at the table. Rather make her feel cherished and most worthwhile to you.

Sometimes men just look at their wives as to provide their basic needs, and fail to see them as a real woman the one whom they first dated.

Do what makes her feel loved, and what boosts her confidence making her feel like she is on a pedestal.

Marriage after a while becomes boring and stale this is especially, when partners don't notice each other.

Marriages and Mistakes

Marriage is a commitment

A man divorced after twenty years of marriage, and his ex-wife blamed him for the breaking up of their marriage.

  • He thinks and feels in the following ways after his divorce.

Marriage is such a gift to many happy couples.

Those who divorce because their partners have changed over time, and for the misunderstood reasons are clearly failures.

The many different aspects of their lives have changed, and they fail to cope with each other.

Sometimes partners are too foolish to see their partners for who they have become, most of the time for who they have wanted them to be.

You only realize how much your ex-partner is missed once the divorce is final. When it all comes to mind.

Things that you wish you have tried or attempted in a much more different way.

So many couples wish they hadn't ignored their partners, or wish they didn't stop courting their partners.

You shouldn't stop taking notice of your partner.

The woman you vowed to take care of to love and to cherish throughout your years.

Protect the one you love, and don't take your marriage for granted. Show affection continuously, if you don't, somebody else would.

Appreciate her and show her more than you.

Don't let love slip away and avoid being lazy to show your love to her.

You committed to her now be there and keep the spark alive.

The heart tells it all, and should only have the place for her, that special part should be kept for the only one you want to enter and stay there.

The place in your heart should be for your wife.

Don't allow any other person to enter her heart but you.

  • Keep love alive always, off-course you change all the time, but then who doesn't change?

You will never be the same as when you had first met.

Change allows you to grow into a different person, and you don't expect her to be that person you want her to be. She can only be who she wants to be.

When she seeks your attention and focus don't ignore her give her that much to live for in her marriage.

If you treat her with love, care and speak with great appreciation then love won't disappear easily.

  • Learn from mistakes, and experiences

Intimately show her how much she means to you, and allow her to feel your strength.

Every woman needs her time and you should give that to her.

Allow her to take time out for pampering her soul.

Her space to know herself again. Usually after having kids life can get pretty bundled up, that does not mean she must not live and enjoy her own life.

Share your emotions and remember, whatever you do, it won't be all at once, patience is required to learn more about each other.

Trust is about sharing your lives together.

It is about feeling for each other and giving all you got in a marriage. Never keep her out of your heart, and it takes a courageous man to admit his faults.

She should see you from all sides not just your masked side of life.

  • Nobody is perfect.

You live and grow old together and understand each other even better after many years, Regrets in a marriage often shows when divorce comes along.

When you stop showing interest in a marriage gradually, it breaks up. When you stop exercising your muscles feel tight. You then need to work on your muscles to feel relaxed and good again. The same goes for your marriage.

Team work works wonders. Acceptance is important for every individual.

Don't let past traumatic issues hold you from going forward. Often one can feel stuck in one position from past traits.

If you forgive your partner right away moving on is often simple and is much easier on you.

Love should always be your choice not holding onto previous mistakes.

  • Always make Love to be your first choice in a marriage.

Marriage is about commitment, and growing together, don't think marriage is all a bed of roses. You got to overcome many obstacles to keep a marriage fresh over and over again.

Try to be that rock that holds everything together and be the strength that never fades.

Lessons in a marriage that are learned in a hard way. In many cases after a divorce one analyzes the situation and comes up with many unnecessary issues.

You won't believe how your marriage can all come together with proper communication.

If you have love then a marriage can work itself.

Staying in a loveless marriage is a waste of energy.

Having children and love plays a big part of a marriage.

Young husbands need to read this hub to find out more about what a marriage entails. Sometimes couples forget how to love and you don't want to be in that position of not knowing how to love.

Never look for perfection you won't find the kind of perfection you want from the other person.

Be the lover you want to be and challenge your marriage, and your partner should feel courageous to show you off to others.

Marriages and divorces

Why do Marriages fail?

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Marriage advice

© 2013 Devika Primić


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    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      padmendra thank you for sharing a comment at my hubs

    • padmendra profile image

      PADMENDRA S R 2 years ago from DELHI/NCR

      A great hub again by you and beautifully presented. Enjoyed it :)

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Indian Chef thank you for sharing your comments here always appreciated.

    • Indian Chef profile image

      Indian Chef 4 years ago from New Delhi India

      Very good piece of advise and great hub. Successful marriage take place when both people respect and love each other and work hard for it.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      epbooks thanks very much for commenting

    • epbooks profile image

      Elizabeth Parker 4 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

      Great advice. It's so easy to forget these little steps but if they are followed, can work miracles!

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      So true I know a couple as well they were married for 19yrs and divorced because they couldn't get along always fighting and even after their divorce still can't see eye to eye thanks moonlake for the vote up,and commenting have a great weekend

    • moonlake profile image

      moonlake 4 years ago from America

      There has been divorce in our family 8 years later and the two of them still can not get along and handle things better. Great hub voted up.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Benny01, thanks for commenting I SO AGREE WITH YOU

    • Benny01 profile image

      Ijeoma Peter 4 years ago from Lagos, Nigeria

      Nice one DDE and I hope people would learn from your write up.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      thumbi7 thanks for the votes up and shared so glad you stopped by

    • thumbi7 profile image

      JR Krishna 4 years ago from India

      You have pointed out some important aspects here. I wish more and more married couple should read this.

      We realise the significance of something when we don't have it anymore

      Voted up and shared

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Thanks for your continuous support

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 4 years ago from The Caribbean

      Very good insights for the inspiration of those who are still married. Thank you.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Levertis Steele Thanks for commenting have a good day

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      kidscrafts you are so right and I appreciate your efforts in taking part in commenting in all of my hubs thanks again

    • Levertis Steele profile image

      Levertis Steele 4 years ago from Southern Clime

      This is such great advice.

    • kidscrafts profile image

      kidscrafts 4 years ago from Ottawa, Canada

      Great hub, DDE! Like Carol said, divorce it too easy now. I think people are so used to throw away anything they don't want anymore and they act the same way for marriage.

      I think divorce is quite destructive for the soul. I think that in any relationship, it's important to care, to listen, to be kind and to grow. With the years passing, we change but it's possible to adapt to each other with little effort and a good sense of humor! It's worth the time and effort!

      Have a great week, DDE!

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Jackie Lynnley so nice of you to comment and for your votes and sharing, have a good Sunday

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 4 years ago from The Beautiful South

      This is so good. Marriage and faithfulness is so important I think. We invest so many years and so much time. Who really wants to start all over if there is a chance at all of recovery what we once had huh? All my votes and sharing.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      carol7777 good one and an interesting thought indeed. thanks have a lovely weekend.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      billybuc so glad you stopped by thanks for commenting and have an awesome weekend

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      I am so pleased to have read such an encouraging comment,Faith Reaper you have certainly found my hub to be insightful thanks for the votes up and for sharing have good weekend and I look forward to another one of your great hubs

    • carol7777 profile image

      carol stanley 4 years ago from Arizona

      it is too easy to divorce these days. Divorce helps the economyHAHA..twice the consumption of goods...Seriously, it is not a perfect entity this marriage affair...however having a sense of humor and laughing a lot does help...Age brings new problems in life and staying together as a caring couple.....My thing is that my husband and I have each other's best interest at heart. SHould have your chart done before getting married eh?

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Beautiful words of wisdom. I have the feeling the divorce rate would diminish greatly if more people lived by these beliefs. Well done!

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 4 years ago from southern USA

      Wow, DDE aka smiley!

      You have hit on some very powerful points here when it comes to marriage and keeping that most important relationship going for a lifetime of love and happiness.

      All of the points you have shared are most important of which to be mindful as relates to our spouse.

      Thank you for this interesting and insightful write.

      Voted up ++++ and sharing

      Have a lovely weekend.

      Hugs, Faith Reaper