Growing my Own -- "Meaty" Offers in my Inbox
Total strangers are offering me intimate advice.
Someone must be trash-talking behind my back. I know this, because every day, I get at least 2 emails offering to make my penis bigger.
On average, they promise that by using their product, I’ll gain an additional 2 - 3 inches in length. It’s a pretty amazing claim-- especially since I’m female.
But it’s got me thinking. Suppose I decided I wanted to grow a penis? (And face it, what woman isn’t curious about actual ownership?) At an email average of 5 inches a day, I could sport a whopping 50 yard member by the end of the year. Talk about competing in a man’s world!
Equal opportunity? Man, I’d be poking my way to the top in no time. Out of my way tiny citizens, here comes Queen Dong.
Glass ceiling? Hear it shatter with one great bang of my massive meat hammer. Maitre d’s would give me their best tables. Car mechanics would treat me with respect. And I’d golf at any course I damn well please, always taking the prime tee time.
Heck, I don’t even have to be greedy. A good eight inches should be a big enough key to open all those doors that are locked to women.
Who needs a giant one anyway?. A penis is mostly made up of muscle; and muscle is heavy. I certainly don't want to put on any weight. Then again, if I started to get heavy, no problem. I’d just buy into another email offer -- Lose 10 pounds in a week!