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Handling Friends who only need you for Help

Updated on May 24, 2012

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•*¨*•✩♥ We all have friends.

  • Some we see or talk to every week.
  • Some we see only at celebration events.
  • Some we bump into while we are out shopping, running errands
  • and some we hear from, only when they have problems.

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We are only human and for those who contact us only when they have problems, it’s natural for the human mind to think “...all this time (months/ years), I haven’t heard from you but because you are broke or in serious problems now you remember my number?”

Sometimes, I used to think that too, but still help, otherwise I’d feel bad. However, after reading the quote in the photo below, I will never think that way again. It completely changed my perspective. I don’t know about you…

....but I hope whenever you need help/advice there is someone there and may your life be so blessed, that when people come to you in need, they will walk away with a big smile and hopefully keep the friendship going too.¸.·'★•:*♡

Helping in Times of Need...

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    • Lady_E profile image
      Author

      Elena 5 years ago from London, UK

      Hello Ed.... now I know your name. :-)

      That was nice of you to do that....it can be tasking, but it's a labour of love which goes a long way. I'm sure life will treat you kind for it.

      We reap what we sow. Thanks.

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 5 years ago

      Lady E , One part of my 'friendships ' in life seems to always have been to" fix "things for people . Speaking to one for another , smoothing relations even at work , or just being a good ear . I never really minded [too much] yet it does get old . Now in later years I find myself self exiling away fro these types of needy folk . Its a love hate thing though , why else would we do this though if not to help others ! Perfect hub !.....Ed

    • Lady_E profile image
      Author

      Elena 5 years ago from London, UK

      @DoctorEvile

      Lol. I understand "just a little." If I didn't change my mind-set about it, I'd still see people as users instead of seeing it from a different angle.

      I'm glad you stopped by to share your thoughts. Thanks.

    • Doctore Evile profile image

      Doctore Evile 5 years ago from the Northeast of the U.S.A

      This is an excellent perspective...my better half is one of those who always get calls like this & I've been an absolute meanie about it. But, this makes me look at it a little differently. Just a little though.

    • Lady_E profile image
      Author

      Elena 6 years ago from London, UK

      Hi Cathleena

      Thanks so much for stopping by and for sharing it too. :-)

    • Cathleena Beams profile image

      Cathleena Beams 6 years ago from Lascassas, Tennessee

      Lady E - What a wonderful and positive perspective! I love it and am sharing your hub!

    • Lady_E profile image
      Author

      Elena 6 years ago from London, UK

      @Jlava73 - Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I love your comment. :-)

    • Jlava73 profile image

      Jennifer Vasconcelos 6 years ago from Cyberspace and My Own World

      I love this message, it truly is about valuing the friendship and giving of yourself. That is the food that nourishes the soul.

    • Lady_E profile image
      Author

      Elena 6 years ago from London, UK

      Hello Gmaoli

      Thanks for sharing your experience and kind words. I'm glad you stopped by. Best Wishes.

    • gmaoli profile image

      Gianandrea Maoli 6 years ago from South Carolina

      I know exactly where you are coming from on this subject. Years have changed me a lot when it comes to how I view people. I always tried to be a crowd-pleaser everywhere I went because I was afraid of being alone. Truth is, the harder you try, the less you get in return unless the other friend is someone who cares about you as much as you do about him or her. Well, it doesn't matter to me anymore how often I'm included in someone's life because if I'm wanted, they'll let me know...and I make sure I let them know that I'll be there when needed. More importantly, there is always going to be someone in your life who will, one way or another, show you how important you really are without you having to go out of your way to find out. Nice quote, Lady_E. I think you put on a lot of smiles on the faces of your readers.

    • Lady_E profile image
      Author

      Elena 6 years ago from London, UK

      @DonnaIsabella

      You have a generous heart. I'm touched by your last sentence. "You have seen her better side." It's not easy to do... when someone seems to be taking another for granted, but you know, God see's all and will bless you for your kind heart. Thanks for sharing a touching story.

    • donnaisabella profile image

      Donaisabella 6 years ago from Fort Myers

      As usual Lady_E you touch on stuff that is very important to a lot of people. I came to this conclusion over a year ago in my life. I have a friend who used to be a very close friend in what looks like many lives ago. However, for some reason our friendship has been reduced to long periods of silence, awkward conversations if ever they occur or nothing else. Then, many months later a call to ask if I can watch her child when she is away. After it had happened a few times I began to rationalize what kind of friendship this was. Well, this friend of mine will have parties with friends from different states all over the nation, while she used to invite me at first, she does not anymore. She has outings with these friends too but when it matters most and she needs a break, she drops off her child at my house, or calls me at the last minute to pick up her child from day care. I was beginning to get upset when I realized I did not have to. I told myself to be glad that my friend had someone she trust so much that she could call upon me when there was no one else to turn to and also that she knew no matter what, I could never let her down. I am glad she is my friend and even if I may not be at her parties (I hate parties anyway), or she may not call me as often or leave a comment on my facebook profile, she knows that she will always have a friend in me, and hopefully me in her because overall, she is a wonderful person. I have seen her better side and nothing could ever change that.

    • Lady_E profile image
      Author

      Elena 6 years ago from London, UK

      @Unknown Spy

      That's sweet. You are like the one they look up to. Kinda like "the Daddy or mummy". A lot of delicious dinners too. Thanks for sharing.

    • unknown spy profile image

      IAmForbidden 6 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up.

      hi..good hub. very true the message of the quote,. honestly i kinda like it when they come to me when they have problems, i listen, help to figure out whats best. i kinda feel special in their life. i have a bestfriend, a guy, he only invites me to dinner if they had a fight with her girl. but he's stil my bff, we knew each other before that girl came. im always glad im the one he called when there's something wrong :)

    • Lady_E profile image
      Author

      Elena 6 years ago from London, UK

      Hello Angeline - Lovely of you to stop by. Have a lovely weekend too. :-)

    • anglnwu profile image

      anglnwu 6 years ago

      Good reminder--especially when we're upset that they only remember us when they need us. Thanks for sharing and have a good weekend.

    • Lady_E profile image
      Author

      Elena 6 years ago from London, UK

      @Mhatter99.... Ok. Thanks. Keep at it. :)

      @PagesVoice - Aaawh thanks, Dennis. I'm blushing now. I'm pleased you stopped by and look forward to catching up with your Hubs. Best Wishes.

    • pagesvoice profile image

      Dennis L. Page 6 years ago from New York/Pennsylvania border

      I voted this up and beautiful. It's amazing sometimes how we change if we look at situations from a different angle. I agree with ImKarn23 assessment that you have made the world a much better place today. I am really glad I stopped in and read this hub.

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 6 years ago from San Francisco

      but i was among the best at what i did.

    • Lady_E profile image
      Author

      Elena 6 years ago from London, UK

      @Jynzly - Hi Jynzly. It's good you have a word with them because you do all the hard work to earn the money...and you have family too - to look after. Thanks for stopping. Lovely to see you again.

    • Lady_E profile image
      Author

      Elena 6 years ago from London, UK

      @Bill Thanks Bill. You're a ray of sunshine.

      @ThussaysNanaMarie - True, but thankfully they are just a few. Thanks. I appreciate you stopping by.

      @ImKarn23 - Hiiiii. Good to see you. Thanks for your kind comment. I will visit you soon with a virtual coffee...

    • Jynzly profile image

      Jenny Pugh 6 years ago from Marion, Indiana, USA

      You got an inherently kind heart Lady_E. I have had many "friends" and relatives who remember me only when they are in need. At first I helped but when I noticed that "mendicancy" became their way of life, I sermon them; they got to change their mental attitude first, about "friendship" and dependence on others...we all need help once in a while, but to develop a parasitic attitude because some people are having a naturally kind heart then somebody has to stop them, that is the most urgent need they have to pay attention about,within themselves.

      That's a great hub...another inspiration.

    • ImKarn23 profile image

      Karen Silverman 6 years ago

      Lady - this is brilliant!

      Everyone it touches will (or should) rethink their own perspective.

      I believe you may have made the world a little better place..

      i like that in a girl..lol

    • ThussaysNanaMarie profile image

      ThussaysNanaMarie 6 years ago from In my oyster

      Beautiful!I still feel some friends are users and therefore not balancing the friendship.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 6 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I have faced this in the past and I love the quote you shared; it is an excellent reminder of the true nature of helping someone. Thank you for sharing!

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