Has My Partner Cheated on Me? Secret Signs to Watch out For
Check Out Those Cheats!
The Obvious And Not So Obvious Secrets Of Cheating
We all know someone who has been cheated on. Whether it's a friend or even a family member. But how can you tell when your partner has cheated on you? There are various ways of finding out. Some of the signs are blatantly obvious. Your husband or boyfriend comes home smelling of perfume. That is such a cliche' but you know what they say about cliche's. They are true.
But most of the time it is more subtle than that. In this article, I will base the cheating on the husband or boyfriend. But of course, it can be the girlfriend or wife who is doing it. To notice if your husband is having an affair, there are a few things that you need to do. And some of them are not that obvious.
Using Your Intuition.
This may sound obvious. But the majority of women get that feeling when they suspect their husband of cheating. It can be a tingle down their back, or a horrible gut wrenching feeling in the stomach. So what starts it off?
It can be something as subtle as your husband or boyfriend being late home from work. Now I know that there are many other explanations why he would be late, but hear me out. You know he is working from 9 to 5, and he has never phoned to say he will be late before.
So when he gets home you start to get suspicious. This is the time that you need to step back and not wade in with all guns blazing.
For a start, he may well be working late and won't be very happy with you accusing him of infidelity just because he had to finish the work on his desk. But this is a good starting point for you to get your intuition into gear.
Is he acting differently? Not something as obvious as buying you a bunch of flowers, but something more subtle. Obviously, you won't be that suspicious if it's just a one-off late night work, but if it happens more frequently then you are within your rights to start snooping around. So, he comes in from work and decides to go outside and cut the grass. Is this normal? No? This is a sign that he is up to something.
A good idea is to write down his weird behaviour. You know him like a book. Any deviation from the norm is a good sign that your husband is cheating on you. Most men and women who cheat are very clever at covering their tracks.
They are not going to come indoors smelling of perfume or aftershave, and offer you a gift. They have seen the films, watched their friends get it wrong and have worked out their own plan of action.
These days the signs of cheating are much more subtle. So beware.
Hiding And Grooming Are Big Signs They Are Cheating!
The Most Obvious Signs Of Cheating
First, we will cover the obvious signs of cheating. Well, they are obvious to us, but not everybody has gone through this before, so bear with me.
Get your Sherlock Holmes gear on if you see him:
- Showering more often.
- Sneaky phone calls in the dead of night.
- Getting his friends to phone you to say his phone has died the death.
- Particular attention to hygiene. Cleaning his fingernails for example.
- Suddenly starting to take you out more often. It's called a guilty conscience!
- Attending to your every need. Well at least making you a coffee, getting your slippers or taking the dog for a walk without moaning.
These are just a few signs that your husband is having an affair. But us women are not stupid. Oh no. One of the most common ways that a woman knows her husband is playing away, is if the wife and girlfriend happen to be at the same party. Work do's are the best way to check out your competition. Notice which woman tries to keep her distance from your partner.
Does he look in her direction more than others? A good idea is to get him to hand out a few drinks. Notice the way that the woman takes it. Does she ask for a particular beverage or does he drop his guard and automatically hand her the right drink? If you see this, then you can bet your bottom dollar that this is the woman who is trying to take your husband. Just remember, that woman will not just be after an affair, she will want more in the long run. What you do is up to you then, but remember to try to retain your dignity. Punch ups are not a good idea at a works lunch!
Check Those Cupboards For Hiding Places
Women Cheat Too!
The Secret Signs Of Cheating.
This is aimed at the long term relationship. The reason being that when you have lived with someone for many years you will get to know them better. Obvious? Yes.
And that is where the trouble lies. Why? You ask. Think about it for a moment. You know your partner so well. Everything that they do is written on your mind. Just like a book. You know the cover, the insides and every chapter. Not.
Yes, when you first met you asked each other questions, got to know their families, work, hobbies and just about everything else. Each new thing was an experience. You mentally wrote it down, stored it away and kept it as a photo album in your head.
Each chapter was there for all to see. But then you got complacent. You don't need to read all of the book again. You know exactly what he is like. The front cover is there, so that's okay.
But you are not always together. As the years go by you start to branch out on your own, and so does he. But you know him, so that's fine. Wrong.
Each chapter starts to have holes in it. Every year you are together may leave great gaps in the paragraph of your lives. This is when he can fill those gaps with infidelity. He knows you think of him in a certain way. And he plays on it.
So what's the secret?
You don't have to wait for the sign that he may be having an affair. Sound stupid? Hear me out. You have got complacent. You have been married or living with someone for a long time, in fact, it may not even be that long. But you know him. Or think you do.
Do a healthy relationship check.
Stand back and look around you. At the house, the garage, the way you live and everything that makes you, well, you. Just because he or she hasn't done anything suspicious doesn't mean that they haven't been getting away with it for ages. Maybe even months or years.
You have to remember that the way you see your relationship and its complacency doesn't mean they see it the same way. The best way of cheating is to incorporate it into their everyday life. Soon it becomes so familiar to them it ends up being part of their lives.
So, wait until they go out. Preferably for at least a few hours. Then stand back and look at the house. There are so many cupboards, wardrobe's, under the stairs and other secret places that you just do not look in. Why?
Because you know what's in there. Or do you? When you moved in you placed your stuff around the house, shoved old books, papers and just about everything else in those spaces. Then you forgot about them. You know its only got your old stuff in there. So why look?
Just remember, your partner sees things differently. He or she gets to know that you ignore those small cubby holes. So he takes advantage of them. The problem is, psychologically you believe that you think the same way as he does. Wrong.
See your house with different eyes. Go check on these old secret hidey holes. Look in the back of the cupboards. If you are going to discover something then these are the places that will be hiding your partner's secrets. Trust me, I know.
Go through his jackets in the wardrobes. Check all the pockets. If there is any restaurant tickets that you know nothing about you will know he is playing away, having an affair, call it what you will. Did you find a Jewelry Bill? Not yours? There you go. People are very crafty when they are having an affair.
They will use all the little tricks to keep you in the dark. But the funny thing is that they can get lazy. They may use those cupboards, but after a while, they will just throw the secret tickets or presents in there. You're not going to look, are you?
The one thing I would like to add is, please do not get paranoid! Just because he or she has taken up a new hobby, joined the gym or decided at the grand old age of 40+ they are learning to paraglide, don't presume its an affair. It could just be a midlife crisis! No, seriously, we do strange things as we get older.
And of course, we try to stay healthy too. If you do get suspicious of their new health hobby, then ask them if you can go along with them just to see if you want to join, or just watch them for the day. Then stand back and watch their reaction. If you are really clever and can spot signs of dishonesty, then those few seconds will be the one thing that will give him or her away.
So there you have it.
And of course, if they come out squeaky clean, that will mean one of two things. They are totally innocent, or just very clever at hiding their affair.
Just remember to reward them, like you would a pet. If you can prove that they are telling the truth of course. Buy them a little something. But be careful. They may just start checking up on you!
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This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2012 Nell Rose