- Gender and Relationships»
- Romantic Intimacy
Has Your Relationship Lost That Loving Feeling
Remember when you just started dating your lover and things were hot? The lingering look, the footsie under the table, hot sex at every opportunity? So, what has gone wrong? How many times since the start of the month have you had any sex or intimacy with your lover?
Has your relationship lost that loving feeling? Are you longing for those days early in your relationship when everything was exciting and new? If this sounds like your relationship and you want to get your sexy mojo back, then continue reading.
Communicate with your lover
Unhappy couples are those who do not spend the time to talk with each other. When was the last time that you talked to your partner? By talk I mean, really listen to what your partner has to say, giving your full attention with no interruptions? How can your partner know that you are unhappy if you don't tell? How can your partner stop doing something that annoys you if it is not known? How can your partner know your likes and dislikes during intimacy if you don’t tell? Not sharing your feelings with your partner can cause a build-up of emotions, that one day will explode! So, schedule some time to talk regularly – say how you are feeling, discuss your likes and dislikes, show interest in what your partner does all day, allow your partner to exhale after a long day at work.
Tired of the same old, same old or nothing at all?
Sometime ago, I had a conversation with a client, about the risks involved in unprotected sex. He said that it wasn’t that he wished to cheat on his wife, but he was tired of the same old, same old every day and his wife was not open to anything new. He said that when he is ‘out there’ he gets what is wife will not give him.
Can a couple sustain that desire for each other year after year? Yes they can, but it takes a lot of work! Learning some new techniques will do wonders to your relationship. When was the last time you groped your partner, or let your finger wander over his/her body seductively? How spontaneous are you? When was the last time you initiated lovemaking by just grabbing your partner somewhere other than in the bedroom and really “give it “ to him/her? Spontaneity is the spice of intimacy,
For many couples sex has stopped completely for many reasons, but for whatever the reason, you can rekindle the fire of your love life by rediscovering each other. It is never too late to awaken each other’s sensuality. Remember earlier in your relationship, there were territories that you both went ‘exploring’? Revisit those ‘places’ through a sexual journey- who knows, it may lead you to a new destination. Add some spice and fire to your relationship with some fun and exciting new ideas, allowing you both to rediscover each other’s desire.
If you experience problems with intimacy, you may need the help of a Sex Therapist or medical doctor. Do not be ashamed to seek help.
- Make a point of eating together, preferably sitting at the table and having a conversation.
- Choose alternative venues for lovemaking – the bathroom, in the car, in the kitchen, outside – anywhere, as long as you have privacy!
- Have occasional ‘quickies’ which is a lustful way of adding diversity to your love life.
- Try different ‘positions’. You can invent your own, or check out porn sites or magazines.
- Never take an argument to bed – try to talk about it and settle it before going to bed. If you cannot reach a compromise, do not withhold sex.
- When there is a disagreement or conflict, make sure that your partner understands what you are trying to say, or what upsets you.
- Arrange 'date nights' once a week. You do not have to go out all the time, but try to go out somewhere at least once per month.
- Be best friends. The strongest relationships are those where the couples are friends as well as lovers.
- Remember what attracted you to your partner in the first place and do things that will constantly send a reminder.
- Praise your partner when he/she does something that you like and convey your feelings if he/she does something that you don't like.
Recapture that loving feeling that you once had and keep the fire blazing and the sensuality alive, whatever the age of your relationship.