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Has the lockdown permanently destroyed modern dating?

Updated on May 25, 2020

Shock, daze, disappear, rinse, repeat.

Surprise
Surprise

How are you adjusting to becoming a forced introvert?

It's no surprise: I'm an extrovert. I take pride and joy in sharing my experiences and feelings... all of them... for my creative purposes. During these times of virus lockdowns, I feel like a fish out of water, or a fish forced to be in an aquarium instead of out of water like they wish to be. If someone would have warned me that I'd be forced to stay home when I just got a position where I could take myself out for drinks again, I would have said to take a flying leap.

Fate is like the stepchild of a dysfunctional family. Coronavirus is like the evil stepmonster who steals all your free will and joy in simple things.

I didn't ask for this, nor did I ask for the countless lucid dreams I've been encountering. Most nights I forget what they are after I fall back asleep after say 6:00 a.m. in the morning. But last night I remember dreaming about digging up a corpse that a group of us buried several months before, only to have a bunch of mishaps during the getaway in a van, followed by being with a partner who was very young, but said he was too old to remember his age when I asked him. In the end, I heard, "did we forget anything?" and I answered, "me." Then when I found my partner, I wanted to know what horoscope sign was so compatible with me, but when he couldn't remember, I realized it didn't matter. What mattered was that we were bliss next to each other. In all honesty: I hope I meet a man like that some day, and he wants to share the remainder of our days together.

Can we say the Coronavirus is chock full of insidious dreams intended to mess with your psyche? I'm stuck in the Matrix with both the blue and the red pill. Help! Get me out of here!

I have visited dating apps since the lockdown, like OKCupid, Tinder, and what I've noticed is that guys will disappear within the first few messages of contact.

Why do guys disappear faster than a friend who owes you money?

I used to think I was a good catch, but then I realized I was into my 40s, had kids, and started to put on some pounds during this lockdown. But to be fair: I was attracting men that weren't in my league when I was 37, thin, and just going through divorce for the initial stage.

When I saw that some guy posted that "If you're not looking for a real connection, swipe left," I realized that women were doing this same act of disrespect. Why would anyone pretend to be into someone if they really have no intentions of pursuing the possibility?

I realized that being a jerk is an equal opportunity employer. And during the lockdown, being a jerk was more rampant than the virus.

So what is up with this phenomenon? Did we all just give up on meeting our potential mate? I didn't. I thought this was going to be my year for finding someone. But then Coronavirus reared its head. Full of crowning unglory.

I still encounter guys who disappear after one or two messages. I don't know why. I've had to tell a guy who wanted to meet me right away that "I don't feel comfortable meeting so soon while we're in these times" only to be ghosted upon delivery.

Correction: He wished me Happy Mother's Day, only to call me "Theresa" to which he quickly apologized by saying, "Theresa doesn't have kids, sorry about that."

So what is the deal with dating? Businesses are starting to open up around here, but I assume that they will still require 6' distance between people. Does that mean any potential dates can't come over and contact you?

I was convinced 2020 was my comeback year. Then Coronavirus came along and destroyed all my plans. Will we ever see a new normal?

I know this is temporary, but aside from the daily annoyances from the viruses, I find the devolvement of dating an added (and unnecessary) problem. Can we all just get along? If not now, when?

Comments

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    • wonderful1 profile imageAUTHOR

      Sheila Varga Szabo 

      17 months ago from Southern California

      Oh, no, don't give up on all of us! There are some good ones out there, but probably not on dating sites. I agree that it's partly (or entirely) to blame for dating today. It makes you wonder how humans could meet, fall in love, and have families together before technology. I wouldn't mind if we could go back to being more social rather than using social media.

    • Slartybartfast profile image

      Slartybartfast 

      17 months ago

      Online dating permanently destroyed dating.

      Most of my friends gave up on women entirely, myself included.

    • wonderful1 profile imageAUTHOR

      Sheila Varga Szabo 

      17 months ago from Southern California

      dashingscorpio you always have the wisest words to share, and thank you for that! My beef is that I swore off dating sites many times before because I had faith that I could meet someone organically and foster a relationship over time (like how people used to fall in love), but the lockdown has cut my plan short. Even before this started, I noticed that the only way I'd meet a new guy was if I was the one to come over and introduce myself. Men at work are usually already married, so that ship has sailed. But all's well: I got a cat about a year ago. She loves me unconditionally because I give her food. :D

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      17 months ago from Chicago

      Lots of funny insight!

      Actually based upon the large gatherings I saw on the news at bars and beaches I don't think this virus is going to change dating all that much especially for (younger) daters.

      Nothing scares the youth of America! LOL!

      As for the whole online dating sites/apps scene the truth is everyone is in competition and there is a FOMO (fear of missing out) aspect to it. People want to quickly meet, hookup, or find out someone isn't compatible as soon as possible and move on.

      Also if someone they perceive to be "better" comes along they don't feel any sense of obligation to inform the previous person they were in communication with that they've decided to move on.

      I think this is in part due to the fact there is very little real human connection at the start when meeting someone online. Usually people are using the site/app to write each other or if they exchanged cell phone numbers they text rather than call.

      Essentially you're reduced to be nothing more than text messages and emojis on someone's phone. The (human) connection is missing. You become a product listed in a online catalog.

      There's a big difference between reading LOL! and actually hearing someone laugh out loud.

      I imagine it's easy for a lot of people to ghost someone they've never met in person or heard speak.

      One man's opinion! :)

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