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Hate Must Be Awfully Awful To Live With

Updated on September 29, 2009


I get a lot of comments from the blogs I write, most of them are very complimentary, telling me how I managed to put into words that the person writing in has felt, thought, etc. but on occasion there are the negative comments. Most I leave on my website because I’ve always felt is better to know that the “enemy” is still out there and I’d much rather have someone admit that they don’t like me rather than be nice to my face and then do and say hateful things behind my back. Most of the time I find a way to make those comments into a new blog (See my video blog about people who use the word, “faggot” never seeming to know how to spell it here - All that said, I recently was blindsided by a comment from someone who obviously subscribes to the hate is a good way to go and I found myself feeling sorry for him, thinking that hate must be awfully awful to live with – Don’t Get Me Started!

One of the most popular blog entries I ever wrote was entitled, “Gay Baby Names” it was all about some friends of mine who had just had a baby and how even if we don’t have a stereotypical “gay” sounding name given to us by our parents, we tend to “gay up” our names as we get older. It was a silly little piece however it never ceases to amaze me how many people viewed that particular entry. So many people viewed it that I finally added a piece at the bottom of it asking people to let me know how they came across the entry. Were they looking for baby names and trying to avoid a “gay” name or what? Some interesting comments, you can read them all here - Although I posted it in 2007 it still gets many views a day so I’m never really surprised by the comments that still come in on this particular post. But this past week came this comment from someone named, Matt. No last name, no link to a website as some comments have and I wasn’t surprised because the people who post the most hateful comments always seem to cloak themselves in the anonymity afforded people on the World Wide Web. As I’ve oft written, I imagine them in front of their computers in a hovel with their Cheetoh stained fingers typing at the keys when they probably have lovely homes and are not the Uni-Bomber at all.

Here’s the comment:

You should all be fucking shot you useless fags, fucking GAY BABY NAMES?????? what the fuck is next? Seriously, I have gay mates, lots of them, but this is just fucking sick, beyond sick infact, how about choosing real names and letting the child decide for itself whether it wants to be a fucking pole smoker or not.


What got me about the comments above were that he obviously hadn’t even read the entry. He also doesn’t have a sense of humor either. I wondered who his “gay mates” were and whether or not they would still want to be his mate if they knew he was posting this kind of crap on the Internet. I wondered why these people never seem to use punctuation properly or know how to spell check anything but more than anything, I thought about just how exhausting it must be to walk around with all this hate inside you. While my blog started by me taking aim at all the things that pissed me off, I don’t really carry hate in my heart, not like Matt seems to have in his heart. I hope he feels better that he got it off his chest but this is a comment that will not appear on my website (other than in this blog) because sometimes there’s nothing to be learned from hateful words and people. Sometimes, I think it’s better that they don’t get the attention they seem to crave, that when they visit the place where they shat their hate that it’s all clear and clean. And let’s face it, we gays are good at cleaning up, right?

Still there’s a part of me that wondered why I wanted to write a blog about it. I’m a lover of old movies and I put in a DVD of mine this past weekend of Gentlemen’s Agreement – a Gregory Peck movie where he plays a magazine journalist who does a story on Anti-Semitism. When his young son asks what Anti-Semitism is at breakfast, he stumbles a bit but does the best he can to explain. Peck’s mother encourages her son (Peck) and the way he handled the topic with his son (Dean Stockwell) though Peck is still frustrated with being given the assignment and trying to figure out an angle for it. His mother explains why this story would be so important to tell, “I don’t know. Maybe it hasn’t been said well enough. If it had, you wouldn’t have had to explain it to Tommy, or your father and I to you. It would be nice sometime not to have to explain it…to someone like Tommy. Kids are so decent to start with.” I guess that’s why I write often about people who express their hate for me because I’m gay or Jewish or a number of other things. It’s my hope that maybe sometime we wouldn’t have to explain it anymore, that people and humanity will change enough where we’ll becoming truly accepting of one another for our sameness as well as our differences. All we can do is hope, right? Hate must be awfully awful to live with – Don’t Get Me Started!

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    • babynology profile image

      babynology 4 years ago from New York

      I actually enjoyed reading hrough in this posting. Many thanks.

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 8 years ago from Las Vegas

      cindyvine - I'll take my faggots without the mushy peas please!

      mward - remember only you can prevent a forest fire and only you can choose how morons make you feel. :)

    • mward1125 profile image

      mward1125 8 years ago from Arizona

      Very nice--I like your take on that guy. Makes me rethink the way I react when I get some of those nasty comments...

    • cindyvine profile image

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Do you know that a faggot is a Welsh meatball? Went a Welsh friend's place for dinner one nice, and they served faggots and mushy peas!