- Gender and Relationships
Breaking the Grip of a Control Freak Friend
I Won't Be Controlled Any More!
When You Will No Longer Be Controlled
Do you have a control freak in your life, or are you a control freak? I will admit that I have control issues, but I learned many years ago that I can only control myself.
I have a former friend with some serious control issues. This is why I say "former" friend. When the control started projecting itself on me, I knew it was time to end the relationship.
No matter how much you want things to go your way, always remember that you can only control yourself. People are who they are, and if you cannot accept the way they are, do not try to change them. They will only change if they have the desire to change. It will happen in their time, not yours. You cannot save someone; they must save themselves.
My former friend had a very traumatic childhood due to sexual abuse, and now she tries to control everything in her life, to the detriment of the object of her control. I have put up with her behavior for many years, but I have found myself getting disgusted by her lying, spying, and guilt trips. She will argue with anyone at the drop of a dime, and she is always right. She complains that no one listens to her, everyone picks on her and no one respects her. If someone makes her angry, she expects her friends to pick sides. The problem is that she gets angry at everyone.
She is angry at me because she said I never return her texts, and I never give her an answer when she invites me to do something. I told her that I don't give her an answer because she gets angry if I say no. Rather than receive her typical guilt trip or anger, I avoid her.
I am avoiding her at this point, and it feels good to not be under her control. I cannot change her, or control her, as she cannot change me or control me. True friends accept each other.
Remember: you can only control yourself, and your reaction to others. Do you have a control freak in your life?