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Having Friends While In a Relationship/Married or Dating

Updated on September 2, 2010

 How many of us know someone who is having issues in their relationship because of friends! Whether they are friends you had before you met your significant other, friends you have made while with your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife or, friends that you both have in common, there is such a thing as crossing the line when interacting with each other. Let's look at some of the problems that can and will arise if no boudaries are set beginning at dating and within your marriage. Here we go: 1)If you are out in public and a old friend approaches you that your partner dosen't know about, introduce him or her. If there's no introduction than automatically it can imply: old feelings still exist, someone you're seeing outside of your relationship or, someone you are interested in seeing and don't want around your partner. I know this is a lot to be read into one meeting but this is the mindset of someone who feels as though their being excluded. 2)If you happen to exchange numbers with  a friend that you run into in public make sure you let your special one know about it so that when the person calls it won't be a surprise. 3)When you get a call from a friend, don't get up and leave the room right away or start talking in a low voice, or in code! This will always bring about an unfavorable result. 4)If you make new friends at work, be sure and tell your boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse. There's nothing like a new person calling or coming around all of a sudden since you have started your relationship, especially if they are not known to both of you or, were met when the two of you were together. 4)If you are friends with a married couple you cannot show up or drop by randomly. You should always call to make sure the time is appropriate and that the couple wants company. Unknowingly you could be interrupting a romantic time or mood(smile) or, relaxation time together. 5)When introducing your girlfriend or boyfriend to your friends don't present them as " this is my friend". If the person is more than a friend to you than make it known when you introduce them. This causes problems for you and your special someone on so many levels, not restricted to but including the relationship not being taken seriously if it is serious or meant to be and others feeling like you are still fair game when you want to actually be in a committed relationship. 6)If you are friends with only one person in the couple, taking that one person out to dinner or going to a movie like you did when he or she was single is no longer an option. The way that you hung out together has to change or be revised. Now you have to include the spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend in activities, dinners, outings and the like. You no longer have the spontaneous link you shared with your buddy before he or she entered into a relationship.  As a friend of a couple whether married or dating you must realize that your friend and his or her significant other is commited to or striving towards making a life together and (that) relationship has to be respected first. Certainly I am not saying that all friendships that you had before you met your spouse or the one that you are dating has to be terminated. Making friends is a part of life and in most cases your friends become like family and should always be cherished and never broken apart even when you meet someone special. What I am saying is that there are times when the changes in your friend's life have to be respected, accepted and viewed in the right perspective. Remember that the main goal is the friendship in all areas. These are just a few tips for friendships and relationships that I feel would be useful for some and a reminder to others that already know. I hope this is useful to someone, GOD BLESS!! (Oh, one more thing and this is crucial! If you are a friend to a couple and you go visit them, don't take a friend of yours who is single, especially if she or he dosen't know the couple as well or, if you're not dating that person. This could open up a huge can of worms!)!


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    • ladyt11 profile image

      ladyt11 7 years ago

      Thank you b! It is true that some of us learn and some of us seem to keep making the same mistakes. This brings to mind the thought: You can't receive different results using the same solutions that never seem to work! Thanks again for your comment.

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 7 years ago

      Very well written and so true....we've all made our mistakes, some of us learn and some of us keep making the same mistakes.