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He Cheated On Me Now What

Updated on July 27, 2014

Healing After Cheating

Why Did He Cheat On You (Scenario)

A woman finds out that her man has been cheating on her with a woman from his job. She is very angry at the thought of her man being with someone else and she wants answers. The man tells her that he doesn’t know why he decided to be with another woman. He states that he does not love the other lady and that he was sorry and that he loved the woman he was currently in a relationship.

The woman that he is dating decides to find out who the other woman on his job is by sneaking up to his workplace and sitting on the parking lot to see if they come out together. She sees he and a female coworker coming out of the office and she rushes up the her asking if she is the woman sleeping with her partner. She then finds out that it is indeed the other lady he has been having an affair with and she begins to yell and scream and make a scene in front of all of his co-workers. Now everyone knows what has happened.

Results of Cheating

Who Cheated
Is It Ok
Results from cheating
The Man
Broken home, child support issues, cant see your kids,
The Woman
Broken home, labeled whore, struggling single mother
Both Man And Woman
Child support issues, cant see your kids, broken home, labeled whore, struggling single mother

As The Cheater - What The Man Should Do

In this instance the man should just ask his partner to calm down and to walk to the car with him. The object is to defuse the situation as quickly as possible. First of all, the embarrassment if really extreme at this point because all of his co-workers experience the confrontation as well as them being made aware that two of their office peers are sleeping with each other.

He needs to not talk the other woman at all and simply get his significant other to leave the premises before the police are called and to calm her down. He should get her home where they can have a rational conversation. Tell her everything that has been going on and explain to her why the two of you were seen walking out together if you were caught cheating with this same woman.

As A Cheater - What The Man Should Not Do

As the man you should not have continued to be seen with the other woman. This shows that either you didn’t learn your lesson and are not sorry or that you are not done sleeping around with this other person. If you felt the need to explain things to her then it should have been done in a more private setting if at all. The both of you know that you made a mistake and there should be a mutual understanding that it was over and communications should stop.

By failing to do this it allowed for your partner to see the two of you together exiting the workplace. In her mind the two of you were going to continue to cheat behind her back. Knowing that you had been caught you should have chosen to be more discreet if you had intentions of continuing the affair.

Question About Cheating

Have you ever been cheated on.

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As His Partner -What The Woman Should Do

As the person in the relationship who was cheated on you should have immediately stopped seeing him. By continuing the relationship you are telling him that it is ok to cheat on you and that you will remain by his side no matter what. Sure you may feel like you have invested your heart and time in the relationship but you will only receive what you accept.

You also should not have gone to his workplace. Imagine that you two have a mortgage and cars and kids together. You may already be living check to check. Making a scene at his job could have possibly gotten him fired. This could cause more hardship on you. No longer is he able to provide for the bills if he loses his job but he also helps to put food in the family’s mouths. This one incident where you over reacted could possibly cost you years of additional hardship.

As A Partner - What The Woman Should Not Do

What the woman should not do:

If he cheated on you then confront him. The other woman may or may not have known that he was in a relationship. Even if she knew that he was then you should still not confront her. Your problems lie solely with him. He is the one that entered into a committed relationship with you and not her. Assuming she knew about you that makes her a bad person sure. But that doesn’t make her liable for what you partner has done.

You should also not stay with him or else you will deserve whatever that person puts you through from that point on. Most men in that position will change and never do it again. However there are a few men who will take full advantage of your forgiveness and see it as a sign that you will always forgive his indiscretions. You know the personality type of your partner and if it is possible that he will change or not. If you cannot find it in yourself to trust him again then you should end the relationship. There is no relationship without trust.

What The Woman Should Do If Things Don't Work Out

If things do not turn out well for the two of you then you should not be together. DO NOT consider payback by staying with him and sleeping with someone else as a punishment. If you do this then it shows how horrible of a woman you may be. Turning around and cheating on him instead of leaving him shows that you are not a respectable woman. Why cheat and give your body to someone you don’t care about just to get back at someone you don’t think is worthy of you anymore. You will regret it if you give some random person the satisfaction of being able to trouble your relationship in the same way that he did. If you respect yourself and your body then move on and find someone else who appreciates you before you give yourself again.

Relationship Conclusion

In conclusion I think that the relationship is salvageable if and only if the non-cheating partner really wants to forgive and trust again. If not then both parties should move on. Don’t chose payback as a way of returning the pain because in the end you will have lost twice. Work at salvaging the relationship but don’t be too afraid to let it go if it doesn’t work.

What The Man Should Do IF Things Don't Work Out

If things don’t work out then you should just leave her alone. You have caused enough damage to her and she is not so willing to forgive and forget. You should continue to uphold your financial obligations for everything that you have in your name with her. You should also continue to be there for any children you may have together as well as financially support them.

You should not get angry because she doesn’t want to be with you and refuse to do your part. You have to remember that you are the one who cheated and caused the situation. She is the one that has to live with the betrayal. Your suffering is a direct result of your actions. If you want her back then you should do everything that she likes in order to win her back. It is ultimately her decision if she will take you back and in what capacity. If she does decide to pay you back by cheating then you should not get mad and simply leave the relationship. Once both parties have cheated then the relationship is no longer fixable no matter how many times you try to work it out. You will both have to live with the fact that the other allowed someone else to intimately come between you.


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    • profile image

      rudysgirl 5 years ago

      i am having a hard time with the fact that my man cheated on me with numerous females i feel so hurt betrayed and so completely lost that i am heart broken when he says sorry and then gets angry when i mention his poor choices .

      The fact remains i feel he makes excuses for his ations or tries to justify a wrong i did or that he thinks I did to fix his wrongs .

      I can never fully heal or recover til he is m0re understanding to my feelings .

    • RichusFridum profile image

      RichusFridum 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Thank you for being honest about the situation

    • profile image

      B The Great 5 years ago

      @ RichusFridum: you make a valid point.

    • RichusFridum profile image

      RichusFridum 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      While all of that is sensible people need to get over cheating in my opinion. Its apart of life now. Monogamy is dying and we all have to face it.