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He Married My Best Friend - 4

Updated on February 13, 2015

Be Me

I want you to imagine being me.

How it was to be me when the
man I loved asked my best
friend to marry him.

Asked in front of everyone at
the High School Prom.

How it felt to be me, standing
there and pretending I wasn't

I was good, give me that.
After a ten second freeze,
I hugged my friend, laughed
smiled and grabbed the guy
my mother had arranged to
take me to the Prom.

I grabbed him, with this
huge smile on my face and softly begged him to get me out of there.
Get me home where I could be hysterical.

Imagine being me.
So pathetic that I had no 'backup' date. My mother had to get a nice young guy
she worked with to take me.

When I got home, if I wasn't upset enough, my mother advised it was likely
that I would be asked to be the Maid of Honour.

And I couldn't do that.

I couldn't

During the six weeks between Davy asking me to find out if Marjie would go with him to the Prom and the Prom, my mother had formulated a plan to have me study myself to death. This would be an acceptable avoidance.

However, the 'by product' was that I did very well and was accepted at a number of Universities. One was in Hawaii. And you know I was going to leave very early so as to 'settle in.'

Of course early meant end of August....meaning I had to live through July.

And I couldn't live through July.

Call me childish, selfish, spoiled, I don't care. I could not survive this. I did not want to see either of them again in life. If I did I would fall apart.

"There's one thing you can do; spend the weeks with Grandma."

Now my Grandmother was maybe the most boring person who had ever lived.
Not just boring, strict. I hated being around her.

Every year I was forced to spend a few days during Xmas; and every summer a week. It was okay because she had many other grandchildren to torture.

It was a choice of emotional purgatory if I stayed, so I went to Grandma.

I called Marji, telling her my Grandmother was sick.

I did not say a word to Davy. After all, if I meant so little to him that he could have asked
me to find out if Marjie would go with him to the Prom, he didn't need to hear a goodbye.

I packed and got on the train and in six hours was in Grandma's kitchen.

It was, on reflection, a wonderful place to hide. I spent the days walking along the beach or reading or watching television, occasionally interrupted by Grandma who wanted to talk or shop or go here there and next place.

She didn't pry; she assumed I was spending time with her because I'd be leaving for Hawaii.

Marji called me at Grandma. Why?
I acted as if she was still my best friend. She decided to set her Engagement party for the
last week in August, when I'd be home. Why?

Then she cried about when she would have her wedding, for I had to be there.
She decided to set it during Xmas when I'd be home.

I didn't say a word. Not then, nor would I ever. But hearing that warning, I was not coming home that Xmas. I don't know what I would be doing, whether volunteering in a leper colony, cleaning dog doo from the streets, or on the drip in intensive care. But I would not be at that wedding.

But I lied so well Marjie believed me.


If you think about it, it's amusing.
At the time I didn't think about it.

I was going to the University of
Hawaii not to get an education,
not even to be in paradise.
I was going to UH to be away
from Marjie and Davy.

Everything was prefect, if I'd have bothered to notice, but all I was trying to do was keep
myself from falling apart. Study is good for that. It is distracting, and if you can get deep enough into a subject you can even forget to eat.

By mid October I began to breathe, and think and live and feel and join and enjoy and by December I had arranged to be on a study trip.

Every week I'd call Marjie, angling for a time she wasn't home, and about 50% of the time
I was right. I'd tell her mother how I was doing, and her mother would tell me what they were planning, and eventually, the fitting for the dress I would wear came up.

My mother, who I'd kept in the loop, decided that Next Week she would tell Marjie's mother
that I couldn't be at the wedding as I was chosen for a special project, and if I backed out I would lose my scholarship...(or something like that)

"Look, honey, I played the villain for you before, during the Slave Mother period, I will make it clear to her that you can not jeopardise your future. She'll stop talking to me, Marjie will stop talking to you and the Chapter closes."

I realised I should of ended my friendship with Marjie when Davy asked her to marry him, and gone away and cut all ties, instead of playing along as if I needed to keep up appearances,
as if I neded not to hurt anyone's feelings.

I didn't call Marjie. I did send a gift, expressing sorrow I wasn't there.
I guess I'm naturally dishonest, or maybe, I didn't want to let her know how hurt I was.

Marjie had been my best friend. How could she not know how I felt about Davy?
But she didn't. Up until my mother's call she probably thought I was still her best Friend.
So sending that gift and card would annoy her, make her angry. She'd rail about how
could I take her wedding so lightly? She would retract her friendship.

I didn't matter now.

I made friends. I enjoyed Xmas on the beach, I enjoyed my classes. I didn't come home
during Summer vacation. I dated as any other student, nothing serious, for I was serious about my work. My studies had kept me sane and focused. My studies would never ask my best friend to the Prom.


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    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Sometimes it's best to cut ties immediately, as you discovered in retrospect. What a sad tale. Are they still married?

    • qeyler profile image

      qeyler 3 years ago

      I don't know....

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      May they get what they get. Perhaps they truly deserve one another. Sorry you did not see it coming. Good luck to you as you continue to move forward.

    • qeyler profile image

      qeyler 3 years ago

      thank you

    • Lady Summerset profile image

      Lady Summerset 3 years ago from Willingboro, New Jersey

      It was good that you learned early on that he "was not into or in love with" you! The pain it caused was painful, however, it helped you to avoid an "indifferent," failed marriage, adultery, or divorce down the line. Most of all YOU have the availability to meet the right guy instead of living with the wrong one!

    • qeyler profile image

      qeyler 3 years ago

      He was the right guy, but didn't know it.

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 3 years ago from The Beautiful South

      We have many had the right guy right up until we realize our life is over and it is too late to get smart. I know it hurts but look at it as an immunization. You live through it and are the better for it.

    • qeyler profile image

      qeyler 3 years ago

      yes, that is true

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