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Healing, Recovery and Moving On After a Breakup

Updated on April 22, 2017

A breakup hurts. It is painful. It is an emotional distress. It can be likened to a person whose loved one has passed away. It is an experience that is hard to articulate in words. Nonetheless, if you want to get over the breakup so it won’t have negative effects in your life, you have to heal from the wound inflicted in your heart which will lead to recovery. When you have recovered you will be on your feet once again enjoying your life like you used to before you met your ex, that is, moving on.

Healing and recovery are the major ingredients which will help you to get over the breakup. If you haven’t healed, you will not recover and your moving on will be put at risk. Healing and recovery are closely linked.

It is possible to escape the healing part but you can never recover though you can move on. For example, studies find a lot of men never heal nor recover but move on. This poses as a problem. Let’s take a medical scenario. You have had an ankle injury. In order to recover, first of all, you have to heal. When you have healed, you will recover and you will be in a position to walk again without difficult. It is possible to heal but not recover fully or you can recover fully but not heal. It means you can walk without any problem (fully recovery) but you will still feel some form of pain (not fully healed). You can heal completely but your recovery has been jeopardized – you cannot walk properly. Does this apply to a breakup?

It does apply to a breakup but to some extent. You can never escape one or two steps without affecting the third step which is moving on. You have to go through the three steps if you want to come out of the breakup in one piece. This article will look at the three processes which will ensure that the breakup doesn’t have a strong negative hold in your life.



When you are in a relationship, you invest your time and energy in the relationship. You do all you can to please your partner. You envision a life of living heaven on earth. This signifies you have invested emotionally therefore you have been emotionally bonded. When you are emotionally bonded to someone it indicates you have placed high trust on that person, and you have elevated him above your friends and loved ones.

No one ever thinks a breakup is inevitable. It is something we don’t think about once a relationship starts. In any case it is not good to have thoughts of “Will it break up or not?” When the bond is severed, all hell breaks loose. You feel hurt. The pain results from your trusted partner having hurt you. Thus, a wound has been created in your heart. The most major indicator that you’ve been wounded emotionally which also applies physically is the pain you feel. The pain is a good indicator there is something wrong in you. There is wound that needs to be taken care of.


The pain lets you know what you need to do and not do. It acts like a protective mechanism to alert you so that the wound may be dealt with before it becomes too worse. For example, if you have a broken leg the pain will alert you that you should not walk on that leg but this one. Pain that ensues from a breakup signals that you need to deal with the wound created in your heart before it becomes too worse. It lets you know what you shouldn’t in order to do deal with the wound such as not suppressing emotions; and what you need to do such as forgiving your ex.


Recovery means returning to the former state you were in before the wound came into existence. An example will help in explaining. You were walking well with your two legs but an accident happened and one of your legs was injured. You will feel pain because there are bones which have broken. You will need to go to hospital. In a period of time you will not feel the pain in the affected leg. In addition, you will begin walking as was the normal case. You have recovered.

This applies in a breakup situation. You have to recover from the breakup if you want to move on. You have to return to the state you were in before the breakup happened. This indicates you have to be in the shape you were in before you met your ex. Your moving on will be affected negatively if you haven’t recovered from the breakup. If your leg hasn’t recovered, that is, returned to the normal state of walking then you’ll have difficulty walking. You will be limping with difficulty or not walking at all. If you have recovered from the breakup your moving on will not be affected negatively. You will move on smoothly.


Healing & Recovery

Healing and recovery are not twins. They don’t mean the same thing. According to, healing is the process whereby the body repairs itself. When the immune system recognizes there is an infection, the white blood cells begin the action of forming a wall and finding ways of defeating the foreign body. When you have an emotional wound, in order for the wound to heal you’ve to accept you’ve been hurt. Then you have to apply the strategies required to ensure the healing process begins.

On the other hand, recovery as stated by Cambridge Dictionary is a return to normal state of health, mind or strength. In essence, it means you return to the condition you were in before you met your ex and the eventual breakup – you’re psychologically healthy, you no longer have hurting thoughts and you’ve gained the strength of mind such that the breakup no longer has effect on you. After a breakup you feel your world has come to an end. You feel lonely. You develop depression, low self-esteem and your life seems to have been turned upside down. It is not what it used to be. You were not in this situation before the breakup happened or before you met your ex. Now it is different. Recovery means not experiencing what you didn’t experience before you met your ex.

Moving On

Moving on means leaving behind what is not important. It means leaving behind any unnecessary baggage. It means walking on without any weighty baggage weighing so heavily on your shoulder you end up walking with difficulty. It means forgetting the past. It means you have dealt with the past. It means you are now living in the present and heading towards the future.

This is well brought out by the Online Dictionary. It states, “Move on can be a phrasal verb that means “to consider finished/completed” or “to stop worrying about/thinking about/remembering something.” As indicated, moving on means considering the breakup had happened and now is something of the past. It no longer has an effect on you in whatsoever manner. In addition, it denotes stopping thinking about the failed relationship or worrying yourself to death about it or keep on remembering about your ex and the good side of the relationship, and what should have been and not been.

ULTIMATE Motivation To Get Over A Break Up & Broken Heart

Why Healing And Recovering Matters in Moving On

If you haven’t healed completely, your recovery will be affected. If your recovery is affected then your moving on will be endangered. As was paraded in the introduction part of this article, you can recover without having healed completely. In the world of relationships it is different. You can only move on but not for long if you haven’t fully healed and recovered. It signifies you will continue experiencing emotional pain no matter how much you ignore the pain. In fact, it means you have not dealt with the hurtful emotions of which they will always hunt you thereby you’ll always be a wounded victim who has refused treatment. This is why it is advised before you engage in another relationship, ensure you’re fully healed and have fully recovered from the breakup.

Healing involves accepting you have been emotionally wounded. It implies you are feeling pain. It signifies you need to deal with what is making you to feel the pain. The pain is trying to tell you that you need to deal with the infection that has gotten its way in your body. This infection is negative emotions. You have to deal with the hurtful emotions. It takes time but the length will be shorter if you purpose not to interfere with the healing process. Once you do so, you will return to the situation you were in before you met your ex.

Learn how to heal and recover from a breakup so you can move on smoothly without hiccups by reading the following articles:

Steps To Healing And Recovery After A Breakup


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