ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Helping Others My Theory On Fire And Water

Updated on March 1, 2012

My Tongue In Cheek Rant About Giving Solicited Advice

Here's my theory about helping others - don't. F__k them. They don't want your help, even when they ask for it. People are full of s__t and the sooner you do-gooders realize that, the sooner you can get on with your life and help your damned self.

I don't care if someone is begging you for your advice. Don't give it. What they really want is to start an argument with you. Every step of the way they are going to resist any effort from you to impart some wisdom that you (you idiot) think that they think you have. Or else why on earth would they ask you for it?

Well you just don't get it. Nobody, but nobody thinks you are so darn smart that they are going to change their ways or start living their life according to something you spew out. No siree bob. They have just interrupted your own personal train of thought, inserted themselves into your life, and revolved themselves into your sphere to suck your stupid, pompous ass into their vortex, which is all FUBAR (f*ucked up beyond all recognition). Believe me. I AM RIGHT. I AM *ALWAYS* RIGHT. AND IF I AM NOT RIGHT, RIGHT NOW, I WILL BE.

So here it is. I don't give a hot damn if you are on fire and screaming for me to put you out. Because I know the minute I get sucked into your vortex of BS and throw water on your stoopid ass, you are going to tell me you didn't want my help. You like being on fire. As a matter of fact you set yourself on fire and like it that way. You would set yourself on fire some more if you could. You would add fuel to your fire if you could. As a matter of fact do I happen to have a can of gasoline on me? You like that burning inferno of the mess of your life that you made. You love it and you wouldn't change it for me, or anybody else, for the love of family because you like it just fine. Thank you very much.

So go ahead burn. I don't give a happy crap. If I see you burning? And you are begging me to put you out? I am going to roll my eyes and keep on looking in the other direction. 'Cause I ain't gettin' sucked into your vortex.

And anybody who reads this and doesn't believe me? Go ahead, give some solicited (not unsolicited) advice and count how many times you are contradicted and argued with. Then come back here and apologize to Ms. P. This is how you do it, you say, "I am sorry Ms. P, you were right." Damn skippy.

What are you waiting for? Go ahead try it. Then come back here because I have even more advice for you.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)