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Honestly Learn To Say Thank You!
I hate it when HE is right
Have you ever sat down to write something and within your head you knew right where you were heading but it didn’t turn out that way? That is where I am. So I started to write an entire blog entitled “He is just not into you.” However I started telling my significant other about it. Yeah, wrong move! He then informed me that all of the reasons I had were situational. The bad part, I had taken all of my five reasons from our relationship and was determining that he was not into me. He had told me such things as “I dig you and you are beautiful” but to me without the action to back it up they were empty words. If any of you ladies are like me you may just be bad at reading the signs. I simply have come to the conclusion I have no idea when a man is hitting on me. The words to him had extreme meaning but to me they didn’t. It was like two people attempting to express the same emotion but a language barrier had to be overcome.
Now as seen in my bio I am a psychology major and with that comes the understanding that we support “talking” about everything. Thank God he gave me a man that understands this and is kind enough to talk everything through with me in a kind gentle manor. Language means a lot within the world of a relationship. Below are some simple steps that I have found to work within the world of a relationship and communication.
Be Kind and Gentle:
There are times when we are attempting to express ourselves but we cannot get our thoughts together and it comes out all wrong. Then our emotions pile up and we start to take it out on the one who at first was the subject of our conversation. It is at this point that the conversation balances on a needlepoint. Much like a dreidel spinning out of control this conversation has two directions it can go. Either it can crash to the floor erupting into an overdrawn, unneeded argument or one person can make the conscious choice to speak in a gentle tone thus allowing the conversation to continue without collapsing to the floor. Proverbs 15:15 states, “A soft answer turneth away wrath; but grievous words stir up anger. KJV” When I get a little hyper verbal within a situation my man will calmly remind me to check my tone. The soft and nonjudgmental tone he maintains allows me to understand he is doing such out of wisdom and love not to start an argument.
We communicate great:
For the most part you may think that your communication is great. You both smile, get along, love each others company but deep down there may be some questions that you have for one another but neither of you are daring enough to speak. I am not there. Actually one of my biggest flaws within a relationship is that I like to talk about everything. Sometimes I think that it is possible to over communicate. I do not care about the small things within your day at all. What I care about is that “we” are good. I care that we are on the same page and understand where our relationship is going the direction it shall take and that we are unified. There is nothing I hate more then to watch a couple acts as though they are great but you can see a mile away that they are not unified in any fashion of the meaning of the word.
Another common mistake that I have made within a relationship is that I talk AT the person and not TOO the person. When you are in any type of relationship with a person I would hope that you have some level or respect and emotion about them. With that stated practice it! Speaking at a person rather than with them is rude. As I stated in another blog: “What If I Have No Say?” it is harsh when life makes a decision for you and when you speak at a person you are allowing no room for their emotions or opinions
Take time to show it:
Now that you have figured out how to communicate and be kind now it is time to show it. Nothing means more to a woman than showing her that you care about her. WOMEN it works the other way as well. As tough as men appear to be they still like to know that you care. Words are empty but actions prove that you care. Take the time to show others and the world that you care about the person you have chosen to be with. Do not wait! All you have is the here and now. Nothing is set in stone that you will be able to show them later. You may say, “we are just starting off.” Then I would rebuttal “start it off right!” I have been new within a relationship; I know what it takes to start a relationship, I know how odd it feels stepping out on a limb but you must take that leap of faith. Your humanity is going to tell you to keep your feet on solid ground but I challenge you to be like Peter within your relationship and, “step out of the boat.”
We beg, plead, and ask God to send us a mate and when he does we find some reason to reject it. Be it that they do not look the way we want, they do not communicate, they do not listen to your needs and the excuse list goes on. Quite a while ago God placed it on my heart to start praying for my mate He was preparing for me. So with much hesitation I told my spiritual mentor. She told me “don’t be surprised if God sends it to you in the wrong package.” What does that mean you ask? Well God gives us what we need and not what we want. It is the spirits of each human that unite not the physical. Therefore do not be surprised if God answers your request with a little humor. So many people miss out on the blessings of God because the gift comes wrapped differently then they think it should.
Communication and not rejection is needed within a beneficial relationship. Accept the gift that God has tossed at you and show them. Woman listen to the little things they desire to have done for them and men listen to the way she longs to be your desire. Now if you have read this information and understand what I am talking about I ask you to step out of the boat. Post to this blog your story. Lets unite and share our information and encourage one another. There is no requirements just that you step out!