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"Honey, Was it Something I Said or Thought?"

Updated on February 8, 2015
This is the end result of speaking before thinking.
This is the end result of speaking before thinking.

Faux what?

  • A faux pas is a socially awkward or tactless act, especially one that violates accepted social norms, standard customs, or the rules of etiquette. The expression faux pas comes from French, where it means "false step", "misstep" (in a physical

Source: Wikipedia Free Encyclopedia

Chaos always has a small origin

It all started so innocently. A loving-couple was just sitting quietly enjoying each other's company and the male part of the couple was gazing intently into his gorgeous girlfriend's blue eyes and enjoying the sight of her hair gently falling now and then over her eyes. And she was also enjoying his total-attention. Things were perfect.

A few minutes passed. Then "Natalie," broke the silence by asking, "Lowell, am I as pretty as 'Genny,' your 'ex?" Poor "Lowell," his mind had wandered (like men's minds do) to the mental replay of the last minute of Super Bowl 49, and the very moment that Russell Wilson, quarterback of the Seahawks released the ball to pass to a receiver and what "Lowell" said, "not hardly," and that was exactly how he answered his girlfriend's question. Verbatim.

Guys, this is what you will get when you just let your mouth "do the driving"
Guys, this is what you will get when you just let your mouth "do the driving" | Source

"Lowell" sees a scary change in "Genny"

"Genny's" eyes went from a sensual blue, to a fiery, Hellish fire and brimstone red and she began to tremble with anger as she said, "Not hardly?" "Is that what you said, 'not hardly?" Her voice cut his Super Bowl fantasy in two as easily as a Los Angeles gang leader's switchblade would cut through a stack of vanilla ice cream.

"Lowell," the poor guy, was busted and I mean busted to such a point of guilt that he would call Perry Mason if he existed.

"Gen," that is, uhhh, not what I meant! I was thinking about the Super Bowl last Sunday, and uhh, your question just came at the wrong time," he stammered to explain.

Proof that a man's plans sometimes hurts his love life

Things caused in relationships by men not thinking before speaking

"Seriously?" (this pretty girl cannot believe that her ex-lover is so ignorant
"Seriously?" (this pretty girl cannot believe that her ex-lover is so ignorant | Source
A guy's frustration breeds anger
A guy's frustration breeds anger
Shunned by your now-ex-girlfriend
Shunned by your now-ex-girlfriend
Resentment: I hate you!
Resentment: I hate you!
Anger: Will you get lost!
Anger: Will you get lost!

"Lowell" gets in deeper

"Oh, not only did you screw-up my question, but you were thinking of the Super Bowl instead of ME?" She bellowed to a now-beaten-down "Lowell," soon to be her "ex."

Obviously, nothing "Lowell," could do or say would appease "Genny," so they agreed to call it quits and part as people who made a huge mistake in dating for three years. What a nasty scene. How bad and hurt, poor "Lowell," felt as he watched "Genny" fade out of sight.

Oh, if "Lowell," had just gotten his hands on this hub entitled--

"Honey, Was it Something I Said or Thought?"

(I will name the scene first. And then tell you what (a) distant, unfocused guy is thinking about or says without really thinking about it).

Girl: "Honey, do you like my eggs this morning?" Guy: "Gail has such pretty legs." "Gail' just happens to be his girlriends best friend.

Girl: "I don't think my mother believes in the devil." Guy: "Yeah, she is surely the devil."

Girl: "I am worried about "Shana," my sorority sister. I think she may be gay." Guy: "I am not judging your sister even if she is gay."

Girl: "Honey, I appreciate your losing weight for me." Guy: "Oh, are you losing weight?'

Girl: "Does this skirt make my butt look fat?" "Fat thighs? I don't think your thighs are fat."

Girl: "Are you really over your "ex?" Guy: "Why do you want to be my "ex?"

Girl: "Someone told me you said my parents were fools." Guy: "I never said they sold pools."

Girl: "When we marry, can I keep "Tipsy," my poodle in the house?" Guy: "Why not? You are staying in the house."

Girl: "Why didn't you 'clean 'Tom's' clock for making a pass at me?" Guy: "Mistakes happen."

Girl: "What did you mean by 'I like her pair,' when you talked in your sleep last night?" Guy: "I said that 'I liked her hair."

Girl: "Before we get married, I want to be honest with you and let you know that I am not much of a cook." Guy: "Honey, I am not here to argue with you."

Girl: "Does this wart on my cheek bother you?" Guy: "No, I do not want us to part."

And finally . . .

Girl: "Would like for me to stop asking questions?" Guy: "Sure, sweetie. I like you a lot."

Note: Guys, let this piece be a lesson for you. Think before you speak. It's as simple as that.

This guy 'thought' his funny plan would get some laughs


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    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, vkwok,

      Thank you, dear friend. Your comment made me feel great. God bless you.

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Honey BB,

      What an insightful comment. I love it. Thanks for the sweet following too. You will receive in a week or two, a personalized thank you email fro me. I take my followers that seriously.

      Did I say I loved your comment?

      Thank you and I hope you have a Great Sunday.

    • HoneyBB profile image

      Helen Laxner 2 years ago from Illinois

      I'm afraid to say anything as you might misinterpret what I'm trying to convey. Oh wait ... you're a male so you're more likely to find the sugar in it ... not like us females who tend to suck out the salt. Great, insightful hub.

    • vkwok profile image

      Victor W. Kwok 2 years ago from Hawaii

      Thanks for a fun read, Kenneth!

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Dear PAINTDRIPS,

      Thank you, dear friend, for this very understanding (about men) and sympathy, also for men and you are right. "We" are not always thinking when we should be and I am personally glad that YOU and all females ARE the ones who actually think about things and think things through.

      We males think a bit and then foolishy-react when we should have stayed still.

      Come back to visit anytime.

    • PAINTDRIPS profile image

      Denise McGill 2 years ago from Fresno CA

      I think what we tend to forget as females is that men don't think like us and never will. We really should embrace that instead of setting them up for failure the way we do. I don't know if you know this, but women are thinking all the time. It came as quite a surprise to me to find there are times when men are not thinking at all. It's that vacant stare that should be the give away. This is a concept that baffles women. We just can't really conceive of a time when no thoughts are happening. So when we say "What are you thinking?" and he says "nothing" we are sure he must be lying. Poor guys.

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      "My sincere thanks," clivewilliams!

      I am so thankful to have YOU for a follower. I hope that I haven't offended every male on earth.

      Wait a second. I offended myself with this story and it just hit me.

      LOL. Please stop in anytime.

    • clivewilliams profile image

      Clive Williams 2 years ago from Nibiru

      interesting but fun read