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Hoo Humm

Updated on August 20, 2011
my loving sister visiting our Mother
my loving sister visiting our Mother | Source
taking mom utside for some fresh air
taking mom utside for some fresh air | Source
she is my Queen always
she is my Queen always | Source

Have you ever felt lost? Like no matter what you do it is wrong? No matter who you trust or believe in they fail?...well I sure do.

My 92 year old mom lives in a home for Alzheimer's patience, the top one in the state, and boy I am not sure why? Yes the Director has received the Number one awards for the last 4 years, but why? Well she is a very ambitious, caring woman, whose mother died with this terrible disease.She gives the best group support I have been to,yet where she works sucks. She is their victim also.

Okay why do I have the nerve to say this? Who do I think I am? I am my Mother's adversary, since she is defenseless, doesn't talk, yet mumbles what is on her mind, trying to communicate as best as she can, yet I have no true idea what she is trying to tell me, but I do have my suspicions. she is now confined to a wheelchair.

The director of Nursing retired because she needed to go care for her father, after her 10 years of service, and she was good. Well of course they had to find someone to take her place, which they did.

Now I know it is a tough thing and after having someone there for that long it was difficult to replace her. She was very good, a caring nice lady, and things seemed to be under control. I mean she even took her time to come visit mom when she broke her hip, and was in the nursing home. Well maybe that was to make sure she would return to the home, under the Corporation that owns it? But I choose to believe she truly cared.

So the new director of nursing came in, and actually I liked her. You know how it is when you come into a new job and want to show what you know, and they see where the weak points are. As people ( the faculty there) may become so accustomed to "how we do it" even if it is not really up to date. Of course the new person wants to show off what they know and that they are organized etc..

So life goes on and each residents needs are learned, especially if they have a daughter like me, one that cares, is able to be there often to check on how things are going. I mean my mom may not remember who I am , but I know who she is, and she better be taken care of at the prices we pay...not that that matters accept for the fact the Corporation is the head of all this, the ones ripping these elderly of every dime they can.

Oh I know we don't want to think this way, how could they charge an arm and a leg and not have good caregivers? They must pay them well??? Yeah sure they do, like the Director of Nursing, who doesn't even know what is really going on. Then of course they had to get modern and go on-line, where as the families could be more informed, and up-dated on our loved ones care...daily??? And then the prices went up to pay for this totally worthless computer system. Saved the Director of the facility time, but as far as I am concerned hasn't helped one bit. I ask a question and they have to run here and there to find the answer.

Well back to the new director of nursing, who got fired after 6 weeks because she was up setting the day nurse's and had the food prep people wear nets on their hair, had the caregivers wash hands before meals. I mean the frigging air is like being in an airplane. Off the point here. Anyway it was a scene and a half that day, I was there, and I felt bad, but I sorta agreed with the new director of Nursing, and also the Director. Tough world out there. Seems no one can do their job like anyone else can.

I admit things have not been going well since then and we have a new director of Nursing (who as I type this is on vacation) and orders for a pro-biotic still haven't been ordered for my mom, cause she had to go on vacation? I bought the pro-biotic but they need an order from the doctor to give it to her. But I can do it, and I have been , why is this needed? Well seems some bug was introduced to the home and at the present time 8 people are in respiratory distress, my mother included. X-rays have been done and mom's say "Probable Pneumonia" in her left lower lung. Pro-biotic's help replace the good bacteria that the anti-biotics destroy,and help prevent Urinary Tract Infection's (UTI) which are common.

I have a few complaints, why don't they have filter's to make the air clean, why do they use food colors to make the salads look greener?, why don't they pay the caregivers more?, and yet why do the caregivers make the residents wait till they(the caregivers) are ready to do what is needed?

Well as I see it (and I am there daily) they need to have their meal first, they need to see their children, they need to make phone calls,they need to keep their schedule even if it means a resident has to wait. Like the other day when my poor mom had diarrhea and was sitting in it till they were ready to help her. Yes I know I am expecting immediate care, but wouldn't you? This can cause a UTI,and can you imagine sitting in poop and trying have lunch? She is ill...oh I almost forgot...the nurse asked if I wanted to just let her die? Pneumonia is the elderly's friend? I wanted to throw up. Other's were asked the same question. Can you imagine what thoughts ran through my head? OMG give me a break..and my poor mother too. :O(

So I guess my point is no matter how good a facility seems it is only as good as it's weakest person and I pray everyday for the elderly to have good care and for God to Bless them... and if this can help anyone new to this disease, I pray it does :O) Hugs G-Ma


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    • G-Ma Johnson profile imageAUTHOR

      Merle Ann Johnson 

      7 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      ubanichijioke..Thank you kind sir..and I know HE guides me each and every day...problem is ME listening...:O) Hugs G-Ma

    • ubanichijioke profile image

      Alexander Thandi Ubani 

      7 years ago from Lagos

      You ve so well bared your mind on this issue. I can see how painful and sad this incompetency and complacency of those tendering your Ma makes you feel. Take heart for God will give you the needed strength to battle on. Be blessed

    • G-Ma Johnson profile imageAUTHOR

      Merle Ann Johnson 

      7 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      Well though this is true the human part of the people that work there isn't rewarded as well as it should be, in some cases, there are some just there for the pay check, though I shouldn't say that because the job is not one of the best, as far as what they are expected to do daily...

      Change? Well I sure hope it does before half the population has dementia and are unable to afford such places...God Bless you my dear...:O) Hugs G-Ma

    • BobbiRant profile image


      7 years ago from New York

      It's hard when caring, professionals are hand cuffed. They are supposed to be there for the residents, yet state and federal governments and corporate heads,along with the board of directors, feel the loyalty is to their pocketbooks. Sad but true, yet it can change. Bless you Sweet Lady.Great hub.

    • G-Ma Johnson profile imageAUTHOR

      Merle Ann Johnson 

      7 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      Jackwms...Thank much as I hate to say this I wish she could go HOME and be Happy...I know there are days / moments of happiness but the quality of life is so sad, as is the disease. And it is totally in God's hands so I go on with the support from Him and the humans that have experience in this disease.

      God Bless you for your love and caring...:O) Hugs G-Ma

    • Jackwms profile image


      7 years ago

      I have been following your hubs for the past 2 + years and understand what you are going through with your mother. My wife and I went through similar things with my father-in-law for several years. His wife, my mother-in-law went to the nursing home every day to feed him his lunch and he didn't know who she was. He passed on a couple of years ago at age 94. and she followed him this past year. My thoughts are with you.

    • G-Ma Johnson profile imageAUTHOR

      Merle Ann Johnson 

      7 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      Feline Prophet...It sure doesn't...and thank you for seeing that my dear lady...:O) Hugs G-Ma

    • profile image

      Feline Prophet 

      7 years ago

      It doesn't get easier for you, does it G-Ma?

    • G-Ma Johnson profile imageAUTHOR

      Merle Ann Johnson 

      7 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      Thank You pedrn44 you are very kind...God Bless you...:O) Hugs G-Ma

    • pedrn44 profile image


      7 years ago from Greenfield, Wisconsin

      Wow.I am so sorry about your Mom and sorry you are trying so hard to be her advocate and hitting the wall.Very frustrating. I'm sure you hate to leave for fear of what will happen while you are absent, yet you have a life to live. My Mom's husband was in a nursing home and I had to be so vigilant. Not all the caregivers were kind and patient...some were impatient and abusive. It's not right. Some of them have no idea how to take proper care of a patient or recognize a problem that needs immediate care. Imagine those patients that don't have family watching out for them. I understand your feeling of helplessness. I especially understand how difficult it must be to watch your Mom deteriorate and your need to make sure she is taken care of. My thoughts are with you. Please keep us posted.


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