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Naughty In The Bedroom, Tantalizing Thoughts

Updated on May 1, 2011

Positions

You are probably asking yourself by now ,"Who is the person that writes on so many topics, calls herself a Christian and gives advice to newcomers?" She is a lady in public, and has a zest for life and is certainly not afraid to discuss any topic that happens to deal with sex. Birds do it, Bees do it, animals do it, and yes we as humans do it to you. If you are not doing it, we know what you are doing to take the edge off of it with soap, petroleum jelly, or whatever else you can get your grubby little hands on. If you are in a steamy relationship, or have a wonderful marriage it is always nice to spice things up just a little in the boudoir'. The act of making love is not perverted or sinful it is a God given right and can be quite tasteful if they acts are done with passion, there are many artful positions that can be used to have an eventful, fun, passionate lovemaking session without any thoughts of embarassment being a part of the lovemaking, or anyone thinking about going astray. You have to step and pep to keep the fires burning or the kindle could burnout and so begins the different ways and positions of lovemaking in the bedroom.

1. In 19"69" and you know where I am going with this "woodstock" was in and yes I said ,"woodstock" and giving and receiving free love was the spirit of the early 60's and 70's. 19"69" brought our world to new heights and until this day ,provides an unsurmountable amount of pleasure.

2. Remember, the "I wanna be a cowgirl" song ? many of us have always loved to ride ponies.

3. Cooking 101 you must always preheat the oven before putting in the "meatloaf", as for some reason if you do not it does not seem to cook at its "fullest".

4. Like "two spoons" in a cutlery board spoons just seem to fit side by side .

5. "Arches and Bridges" are beautiful aren' t they ? just remember to hold on or gather your grounding as nobody wants to fall.

6." Mirrors of pleasure" , it is something you can see over and overand over again.

7. Attention-Hut!! Wow the military knew what they were talking about on this one, as it is amazing how one can "stand to attention", while the other "kneels to pray".

8. Deck Chairs are nice but are much better if you "unfold" them and may the "G-Force" be with you.

9. "Snoop Dog" was a good rapper and seemed to be "standing often", although he appeared on occasion to be a little "twisted" I enjoyed his music.

10. "Drive-Thru 's" are so popular just don't forget to order from the menu before you chow down.

Once you have mastered "Woodstock" and realizing being a "cowgirl" could be fun, learn how to preheat the oven to cook a meatloaf, and use at least two spoons, don't forget to add the "mirrors" to the "arches and bridges" and appreciate "snoop dog" and "drive-thru's" you are definitely moving in the right direction. So put on that lingerie, stilettos , and grab Mr. Bunny, Happy Spinner , fruits, jams or jellies or chocolate and whipped cream and have a little fun!

copyright© 2009

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    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 5 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Thank you. I am glad you enjoyed it. :0

    • Yaduvanshi profile image

      Yaduvanshi 5 years ago from Bharat Vrse

      I read it once more and enjoyed it

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 5 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      cebtouristspot: Thank you. I forgot about this one.

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 5 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Brett.Tesol: Written long ago. It is funny! I am glad you enjoyed. :)

    • cebutouristspot profile image

      cebutouristspot 5 years ago from Cebu

      Again AEvans you manage to use words in such a skilled way to come up with this fantastic hub. Great tips on how to make the passion burning :) Voting up

    • Brett.Tesol profile image

      Brett Caulton 5 years ago from Thailand

      A fun play on words! I like your style and you give some very true tips for couples.

      Voted up, funny, useful and SOCIALLY SHARING.

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 5 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      daniellehorgan: It was truly meant to be funny. Thanks for laughing. :)

      ajayshah2005: Glad you enjoyed. :0

      lord de cross: It is old, very old. lolo! Glad you enjoyed.:0

      Yaduvanshi: Thanks :)

    • Yaduvanshi profile image

      Yaduvanshi 5 years ago from Bharat Vrse

      agree

    • Lord De Cross profile image

      Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

      Oh Lord! have mercy of us! This is a hottie AEvans!

      Probably inspiration was around..that night! Great read!

      LORD

    • ajayshah2005 profile image

      ajayshah2005 5 years ago from Mid Asia

      Very hot hub.Thanks AEvans!

    • profile image

      daniellehorgan 5 years ago

      Haha this is brilliant! Voted up and funny!

    • profile image

      Vivek Nair 7 years ago

      Is it the clipping of the news reader alakananda. seem that there is a blue film of her.

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      wingedcentaur: Thank you and I do remember writing this one and it was clearly explained to many. It is a very popular hub and just as you read it is also in good taste. Intimacy is not a naughty thing, it is a natural thing and being shameful is politically incorrect. Thank you for the kudos.

    • wingedcentaur profile image

      William Thomas 7 years ago from That Great Primordial Smash UP of This and That Which Gave Rise To All Beings and All Things!

      I suppose this is your most popular hub ever, unless I gravely mistaken. I wonder why. :-) What impressed me about this hub is that, despite your obviously strong Christian faith (you make a nod to this when you say that the physical expression of physical desire as a "God-given right"), is that you were able to separate yourself from it enough, to consider the matter phenomenologically -- that is what people do and even how they do it, and how they should do it, whether they are believers or not.

      Many people, fundamentalists I suppose, allow their faith to hamstring them. They have a hard time being in the world, if you know what I mean. Anyway, I'm still blushing. Well done!

      Ta-Ta!

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      dawnM: It is a natural part of life and should never be rules as naughty. The stories are funny, if only others would get more comfortable with the discussion. Thanks for the kudos. :)

    • dawnM profile image

      Dawn Michael 7 years ago from THOUSAND OAKS

      well one of my favorite subjects to touch......lol so to speak. Being a marriage counselor I get to hear alot of interesting stories and the best always involve sex.

      great and informative article

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Shatigra: Thank you and I wish you all of the best. :)

    • Shatigra profile image

      Shatigra 7 years ago

      I am very pleased with this hub. I am seriously going to take a few ideas from this reading for myself. I like the refrences it's cute.

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      pixie676: Lolololo ! If only people would realize that intimacy is not a naughty thing and has been done for centuries. Great idea and thank you for commenting. :)

    • pixi676 profile image

      pixi676 7 years ago

      very enlightening though i have to say i knew just about all of them and probably used them already. sorry was that too much info for yall? here's a fun fact that goes along with this hub. using sexy little dances, stripping, and new positions can make your partner more wild than ever. that's how i ended up pregnant so be careful. for me it was a very good thing but may not be for others so enjoy but be careful!

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      outdoorsguy: lolololo ! no big tops in this hub and yes floppy shoes can get under foot! lololo I am glad that you enjoyed and was brave enough to comment. :)

    • outdoorsguy profile image

      outdoorsguy 7 years ago from Tenn

      maybe old but its good..

      I note that theres no mention of big tops. circus clowns and trapeze bars.

      okay so I know floppy shoes can get under foot. but still.

      LOL

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      MFB III: My goodness well that was certainly poetic and a work of art. I enjoyed it and no you won't get tagged for it, I can't believe you even found this hub, it is old. lolol :D

    • MFB III profile image

      MFB III 7 years ago from United States

      I may get tagged for this but it fits your topic so well...

      so why not.....

      You can always delete it if it comes across to strong...lol

      but it is quite metaphoric like your hub....

      Allow me

      to let my tongue

      dance intricate,

      practiced,

      age-old patterns,

      s l o w l y

      and then

      infrenziedliquidheat,

      across your most

      erogenous zones.

      Your sighs

      our song of love,

      your cries

      my only cadence,

      as I slide, and spin

      in a body ballet,

      between the ivory columns

      center stage,

      on your opening night.

      \ \ \ \ / / / \ \ \ \ \ / / /

      / / / / \ \ \ / / / / / \ \ \

      Remove me

      with the

      hint of a smile

      and a devilish

      wink of your eye,

      in pirate style

      as I rise above

      your patch.

      Steal my breath

      for awhile,

      play with me now,

      till we insert the key

      into the lock.

      Rigid, and shiny

      it glides,

      deeply expanding

      that secret vault

      that holds the treasures,

      the pleasures of you,

      plundering, and sharing

      the joys of my

      hoisting you

      to ecstacy.

      \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

      ///////////////////////////

      \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

      ///////////////////////////

      Melt me

      like carnuba wax,

      in the hot, tropical sun.

      Ride with me on

      endless rolling tides,

      blended as one.

      Two shells colliding

      till we reach the crest,

      and flow with it

      to the shores

      of loves encore.

      Bask in the

      salty splash

      then just lay close,

      wrapped around me

      snug like seaweed.

      making small talk,

      on the pillows

      amidst bedding,

      that billows like waves.

      Please,

      allow me

      then

      remove me,

      then

      melt me,

      then

      remove me,

      then stay!

      Seasons pass

      and we are seasoned,

      sometimes with bitterness,

      often with sweet flesh

      blending into a

      delectable heat,

      or growing cold

      with the leftover memories

      that harden and congeal our souls.

      Patience is the

      main ingredient in life,

      there is passion boiling

      in a kettle somewhere,

      waiting to be stirred

      and then supped.

      Find a place to

      spoon with another,

      make people soup

      and share the warmth,

      starvation may be

      just around the bend.

      That's enough...lol~~~MFB III

    • AEvans profile image
      Author

      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Deborah Demander: I write about anything that comes to mind, when I reflect what I have written it shocks me sometimes. :)

    • Deborah Demander profile image

      Deborah Demander 7 years ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      Great hub. I will enjoy learning more about the way you think and write. I can see that you are a powerful woman.

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Truth From Truth: Thank you! :)

    • Truth From Truth profile image

      Truth From Truth 7 years ago from Michigan

      very good hub, really gets some ones attention.

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Consultanttech: mmmmmm.... you are silly!!!! lololo

    • Consultanttech profile image

      Consultanttech 7 years ago

      No its really me, I don't have the slightest who dat would be?

    • Consultanttech profile image

      Consultanttech 7 years ago

      I guess I've made it just in time for the party where have you been hiding redriding hood? I kindof missed those mirrors.

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      drcrischasse: I am certainly glad that you agreed , this is such an old hub but it seems to rekindle itself. :)

    • drcrischasse profile image

      drcrischasse 7 years ago from NH/Foxboro

      You are correct, with a single partner or your spouse it is a wonderful experience.

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Poppa Blues: This is an old one but I am glad you enjoyed the metaphors! Thanks for the compliment.:)

    • profile image

      Poppa Blues 7 years ago

      Ha! Love the metaphors almost as much as I love sex! Nice work!

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Tipu786: Thank you! :)

    • Tipu786 profile image

      Tipu786 7 years ago

      good

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      20gsxr05: Thanks! This is an oldie but goodie and I am glad you appreciated it. :)

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      20gsxr05: Thanks! This is an oldie but goodie and I am glad you appreciated it. :)

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      20gsxr05: Thanks! This is an oldie but goodie and I am glad you appreciated it. :)

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      20gsxr05: Thanks! This is an oldie but goodie and I am glad you appreciated it. :)

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      20gsxr05: Thanks! This is an oldie but goodie and I am glad you appreciated it. :)

    • 20gsxr05 profile image

      20gsxr05 7 years ago from Atlanta Ga

      ALL I CAN SAY IS AWESOME

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Eastern Rainbow: Thank you for becoming a fan and I am glad that you enjoyed the hub.:)

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Eastern Rainbow: Thank you for becoming a fan and I am glad that you enjoyed the hub.:)

    • Eastern Rainbow profile image

      Eastern Rainbow 7 years ago

      It's my privilege to be your fan

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Merriweather: I thought it had to be clever Snoop Dog reference was fun to write. lololo :)

    • Merriweather profile image

      Merriweather 7 years ago

      Very clever! I love the Snoop Dog reference.

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      gwendymom: I could not agree with you more and thank you for enjoying it. :)

    • gwendymom profile image

      gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

      Just read this, sad I missed it when it first came out, but so glad I got to read it now. I love the terminology you used, very cute. Anyone who has been married awhile and some who haven;t can always use some good advice on how to spice things up a bit. Thanks for sharing.

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      wondergrl: Thank you! :)

      privateye2500: I am so glad you enjoyed I have to admit this one does make me smile. lolo:)

    • privateye2500 profile image

      privateye2500 7 years ago from Canada, USA, London

      rotflmao!! Gotta love this one.

      " 19"69" brought our world to new heights and until this day ,provides an unsurmountable amount of pleasure. "

      Along with many improvements, like latex for the prevention of oh....Hep C...AIDS...LOL!

      But then again - peace and free love on acid -

      Well....was it worth it girl? ;} wink wink

    • wondergrl profile image

      wondergrl 7 years ago from Colorado

      nice hub.....fun!

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      drej2522: It is a simple a hub that came to mind months ago but it still quite popular amongst the masses. :)

    • drej2522 profile image

      drej2522 7 years ago from Augusta, GA

      I'm not sure how I should feel after reading this. Don't get me wrong, you have some intriguing information here, but..ummm...is it wrong that I am a little turned on by this?

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      one2get2no: I am so glad that you enjoyed and I appreciate the kudos. I am happy to have made you smile. :)

    • one2get2no profile image

      Philip Cooper 7 years ago from Olney

      This is a most entertaining hub. I laughed a lot. It is so well written. Thank you.

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      drchrischasse: How did you manage to resurrect this one? Thank you for the comment.

      Harvey: It is a very old article as you can see I am bold enough to write about anything if the moment hits me, well almost anything. I certainly will e-mail you or better yet you should write about it. :) To innocent? lololo

    • Harvey Stelman profile image

      Harvey Stelman 7 years ago from Illinois

      J,

      Yes this did surprise me. Correction: Free love did not start in the early 1960's, it was about 1967 or 8. Woodstock, I was there. If you need any help on this topic, please write me. Having dated Playboy Bunnies, Models, and well over 200 girl's (am I bragging) I'm sure I can help.

      Hope I didn't lay it on to thick, but it's true. I'm too innocent to even read what Iwrote.

    • drcrischasse profile image

      drcrischasse 7 years ago from NH/Foxboro

      Woman after my own heart

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      mroricle1973: Thanks :)

    • mroricle1973 profile image

      mroricle1973 8 years ago from Virginia Beach

      Love this...

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      The Love Guru: I believe you were stunned, lololo thanks for coming by. :)

    • profile image

      THE LOVE GURU 8 years ago

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      mrozlat: You are so welcome!!! :)

    • mrozlat profile image

      mrozlat 8 years ago from Australia

      thanks for sharing ... a lot of fun to be had!!

      http://magicpowercoffeeclub.com/

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      may: I miss hubs too and I walk in your shoes lololo yes anything can. :D

    • mayhmong profile image

      mayhmong 8 years ago from North Carolina

      LOL, how did I miss this?!

      I guess anything can be turned to sex?

    • AEvans profile image
      Author

      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      katedmk: Thanks!!

      Kimberly Bunch: I will be happy to check it out and thank you for the compliment. :)

    • Kimberly Bunch profile image

      Kimberly Bunch 8 years ago from EAST WENATCHEE

      Great article, here's my sex article:

      http://hubpages.com/hub/nosextonightdear

    • profile image

      katedmk 8 years ago

      nice hub.

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      phoenixinfinite: I must say when you are over 30 and married experience does set in, thanks for the comment. :)

    • phoenixinfinite profile image

      phoenixinfinite 8 years ago from bournemouth, uk

      i must say, you definitely sound very experienced....

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      4everMo: I am glad that you enjoyed.:)

    • 4ever Mo profile image

      4ever Mo 8 years ago

      Great piece :-)

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      one2recognize2: Thank you! :)

    • one2recognize2 profile image

      one2recognize2 8 years ago from New York

      Very nicely written hub. Glad I stopped by and also honored to become a fan... Stay well.

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Brenda: It certainly is love .:)

      SkirvyDawg: I completely agree with your comment.:)

    • SkirvvyDawg profile image

      SkirvvyDawg 8 years ago from Southern Europe

      yes the pursuit, lines and intricacy of one's spirituality and one's sexuality...we all ponder and grapple with this dance. It is our origin and it is our destiny; the point where we decide to which, makes all the difference in the world (this one and the next).

    • profile image

      \Brenda Scully 8 years ago

      what a lovely picture at the top, aw to be in love.....

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      cindy: It is funny and it is coming back, lololo :)

    • cindyvine profile image

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      ah, I remember this hub, so very tastefully written, by a lady for sure!

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      JPS0138: You are funny and I am glad that you were educated. :)

    • JPSO138 profile image

      JPSO138 8 years ago from Cebu, Philippines, International

      Really educational and entertaining..... up for this one.

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Don: You and I are in the same boat lollolo , that would be an interesting topic do it and yes I have been reading and will definitely go back and leave comment, I am being naughty and read but haven't commented a lot lately.:(

    • Don Simkovich profile image

      Don Simkovich 8 years ago from Pasadena, CA

      Thanks . . . I got myself spread thin . . . my short stories - which you may have read . . . and then the novel . . . I also think a topic on which I should write a Hub is about spouses talking with each other about their fantasies . . . I think being unable to communicate is at the heart of the high profile affairs that frequent the news.

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Don: I am looking forward to your book and you must keep me posted.:)

    • Don Simkovich profile image

      Don Simkovich 8 years ago from Pasadena, CA

      Glad to hear about the book being almost completed. I thought about taking an article I wrote on Assoc Content on a similar subject and turning it in to a how to book. I'm mid-way through my novel and have been focusing on that.

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Kelly: It is a part of my book that I am completing I will let you know as soon as it is published. :) I love that you are fan #777 you should go play the slot machine, you just may win.:)

    • Kelly Contrary profile image

      Kelly Contrary 8 years ago from Kansas--if evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve

      You talk about cooking, cutlery and songs--when are you going to get to the nasty stuff? I need help over here. Well, I guess being fan #777 is better than 666.

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Indigenous: I knew you would get it. lolololo :D

    • Indigenous profile image

      Indigenous 8 years ago from Earth

      ok, ok lolo ;x

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Indegenious: It is paperless it is an e-book. lolololo :)

    • Indigenous profile image

      Indigenous 8 years ago from Earth

      ne,...sorry,- went paperless long time ago ;|

      :O)

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Indigenous: I am glad you enjoyed I have almost completed my book , it is even more spicy. :)

    • Indigenous profile image

      Indigenous 8 years ago from Earth

      whoa (:O) and "yeah, yeah, yeah!!!" as Tony wrote :)

      Julianna,- such a beautifull name =)

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      metaphysician: You are quite welcome. :)

    • metaphysician profile image

      metaphysician 8 years ago

      Thanks for your article. You wrote it the fun way.

    • AEvans profile image
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      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Hammerj: Thanks bunches.:)

    • Hammerj profile image

      Hammerj 8 years ago from Cebu City

      this is very interesting topic..nice hub..