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How a Shy Girl can Progressively Talk to Guys in 17 Ways

Updated on October 5, 2019
curiousdestiny profile image

I've been through too many failed relationships and finally found the one. I enjoy writing about relationships and spiritual connection.

Talking to a guy you like can be difficult especially if you are shy. You are left standing before him struggling to express your feelings and emotions. In most cases, even when hanging out or talking to a guy seems intimidating; there are many ways for you to remain cool and talk to the guy you like fluently. The tips below will teach you on how to talk to a guy when you are shy.

Pretalk - How to overcome your shyness and start approaching

1. Go crazy for a short while

This point may not work for everybody, but acting crazy for a short while can help you approach the guy you like without being shy. Simply act like you are crazy, like tossing your hair crazily, or pouncing on your best friend out of the blue. By doing something bizarrely crazy, you will no longer get nervous in a normal discussion (How bad can it go when you have done the worst?). This will help you get over your shyness and make you comfortable when talking to the guy.

By the way, acting crazy is best done without the guy in the area!

2. Research on his interest and be prepared

Before you choose to begin a discussion with that guy, make your research. Everybody has remarkable interests and favorite topics. If you find out that he is interested in football or basketball, you should learn about it a little before starting the conversation. Starting a conversation is very easy with a guy, especially when you have some information on one of his favorite pastimes. Anytime you meet somebody with a similar interest; you will forever talk about the topic.

How to Approach A Guy

3. Ask for the time

That moment when you don’t know how to start a conversation with the guy, you could simply begin by asking for the time. This is a decent solution when you want to know how to converse with a guy that you like because the conversation can lead anywhere. As funny as this may sound, most guys are always proud to show off their watch. If he very well finds you attractive and like you, you can be sure that he will attempt to start the conversation; and so you will just need to play along.

4. Be opportunistic

Find out where he usually hangs out. Is it the neighborhood basketball court? The cafe nearby? Is he in the same class or workplace as you? Give yourself chances to meet him “coincidentally” and act normal! Give a sweet smile if you get an eye contact with him. Approach him and say, “Hey, I see you come here often. I love the dark chocolate muffin here. How about you?”.

Who knows, he may approach you instead ;)!

How to carry out a conversation

5. Make him talk about himself

It is widely known that people talk about themselves and guys are no exception. In a situation where you don’t know how to talk to a guy you like, you might need to start asking him open-ended questions. The questions can be anything from the weather to the latest gossips. It is better if these questions are closer to his interests to keep him talking and making the conversation an interesting one. Try asking questions like "What do you think about the food here?" or "What is your view on pet adoption?”. If he is a foodie or a pet lover, he will be very happy to share his opinions!

6. Ask him about his favorite movies

To create a successful and engaging conversation with a guy, you need to talk about the things he likes. This usually leads to another date if discussed in an engaging way. Most guys like discussing films they have viewed. The popular idea is that guys like horror and action films rather than romance and comedies. In spite of the fact that this is true to an extent, it is not all guys that like horror movies. You can plan a date with the guy to watch his favorite movie at the cinema. Also, make sure you talk about things that are interesting during this time.

Try blockbuster movies like the Marvel Cinematic, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter as ice breakers to find out what type of genre he enjoys!

7. Talk to him about other ladies

If you are the type that doesn’t know what to say to a guy, you can ask him about other girls. How he reacts will go far in helping you understand what he feels about you. Guys appreciate a girl's conversation and also love talking about other girls. Despite the fact that it may be uneasy for you to discuss other girls, if you look at it from a different point of view, it can be very beneficial to you. Whenever you talk to a guy and ask him about his point of view about girls, this will give you an idea of what he thinks about girls generally.

8. Talk to him about what he does for living

Most guys like it when a girl raises the talk about what they do for a living. You need to give the guy the time to feel free and talk; this will help you understand his feelings better. Just like the way many girls talk about their work and why they chose that particular field, guys too have their passions or issues at work that they would want to share. Start the conversation and show the guy that you truly care. Simply ask and pay attention, that’s all!

9. Sports interests

Most guys really like sports, so making inquiries or discussing his most loved team, is one method for getting him to talk to you. You can likewise ask him about the sport he participates in. Get the guy to explain the rules for a particular game that you don't understand and after that have him take you out to watch it. Most guys cherish it when girls express their interest in sport. Don’t be surprised when you discover he doesn’t like sport; some guys are like that.

10. Talking about music

If you find yourself in a coffee shop with him, you could begin by getting to know his favorite music. Ask for the name of the song and who wrote it. This kind of talk will bring him closer to you and make the both of you more comfortable with each other.

How to Shine in a Conversation

11. Do not lie

Getting to know his most loved interests or beliefs can enable you to get nearer to the guy. Don’t ever in any situation lie to a guy. In a situation that he prefers a particular activity and you don't, you should never lie and say that you love the activity. Eventually, he will discover that you lied and he will feel betrayed by you and never want to listen to you again. Rather than deceiving him, you should reveal to him the truth. During your conversation, you can talk to him about how interested you are in his favorite hobby, without telling him if you like it or not. Many people like to talk about things going on in their lives, so this gives you a chance to know more about him. Get some information about the guy’s interest or hobby, however avoid lying to him.

12. Judging yourself

This tip is centered more around your beliefs and actions. You need to quit judging yourself in private before you can successfully approach that guy. Actually, those weird grins, odd chuckles and laughs that you thought demolished your appearance are charming to another person. Indeed, even major faux pas are not as terrible as they appear. Talking to that guy might sometimes seem difficult especially if you are the shy type. You need to relax and stop judging yourself.

13. Be yourself

Putting on a show to be another person may work at first; however, your relationship won't last. If you want a long relationship with the guy, you must be the same girl you are and not put up any show.

14. Do not limit yourself

Most of us have sometimes experienced this in the past. You attended a party, and you see a hot guy, but instead of approaching him, you didn’t because you think you don’t have enough guts and he will just turn you down. Everybody has had an experience like this before. You can never know how a guy will respond if you’ve never approached him before. You need to gather the confidence to approach him and stop placing limits on yourself. Talk to him about anything, request for his digits or simply ask him to dance with you. He might be interested in you also but waiting for you to make the first move, who knows?

15. Relax

In spite of the fact that this tip is a standout amongst the best, it can be the most difficult also. Anytime you are around the guy; you have to be calm and overcome your shyness. Don’t be nervous, take a deep breath and have a drink to cool your nerves. Whatever you do, you have to concentrate on getting rid of your tension. When talking to a guy, a little nervousness is never an issue, but a lot of tension can ruin any prospects of a second date. Relaxing will give you more confidence and help you talk to a guy just the way you’ve planned it. If you are totally nervous, he will turn out to be more nervous too.

16. Strong confidence

Confidence is one of the best things to develop if you want to talk to a guy. Guys are always attracted to a girl who feels confident in their personality and appearance. As a girl, if you can build strong confidence and limit your nerves, you will be more attractive to any guy. To be more confident, you can try going to a favorite hangout spot or putting on a favorite cloth. When you do this, there is a great chance of limiting your nerves and look more confident. Whatever you do, you should always try to create an environment where you’ll feel good.

17. Forget about perfection

When it comes to talking to a guy, you might not be perfect, and no one is perfect either. Anytime you are around a guy; you don't need to stress over being perfect. People with flaws are more appreciated than those who fake their actions. You are more likely to get the guy of your dream when you show your flaws to any guy. If you constantly make mistakes, just correct yourself and move on. Every mistake you make will show your guy that you are not perfect and you don’t fake it.


It's not hard to discover things to say to guy, yet it takes some big courage to begin the conversation. When you know how to do it, you won't find it difficult anymore, and the ways to start a conversation with your guy will be endless.

With 17 ways starting from pretalk to how to shine in conversations, you know that you can do this. All the best!


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    • curiousdestiny profile imageAUTHOR

      Muriel B Tewes 

      5 months ago

      Thank you! Please try out and really hope it turns out well!

    • profile image


      5 months ago

      I didn't think that going crazy will help, that's an interesting way. Will go try out to see if it makes me bolder.


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