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How A Victim Can Stop the Cycle Of Abuse

Updated on November 29, 2010

You get yelled at, pushed, punched, slapped, kicked, called names; yes these are all examples of abuse. Let’s first look at the definition of a victim in case you question if this is your situation or not. A victim is defined as an unfortunate person who suffers from a destructive or injurious action added to the definition of abuse is to mistreat or treat badly, cruel or inhumane, use of foul or abusive language, rude expressions intended to offend or hurt. If you suffer from any of these definitions you are indeed a victim of abuse.

Just because the person causing this pain says they are sorry however it keeps happening, they are not sorry. One definition of sorry is regret, when a person regrets something they will not continue the same behavior over and over again. They feel contrite or they feel pain and sorrow. When your abuser says sorry is this what they truly feel? Does it ever happen again? If it does they are not sorry and it will not stop.

However let’s take the focus off of them and turn to you. You have to take control away from your abuser and put the control into your own hands. This behavior will continue until you realize and accept you are letting this happen. Why would I say this? Try and imagine yourself free from being victimized and imagine what your life would be like without abuse. Those peaceful thoughts you imagine can be a reality if you take back the control in your life. That’s not to say you won’t need help.

Begin your research into finding where you can get help, knowing there are so many different avenues and options available. Talk to a trusted family member or close personal friends, tell them your situation and I am sure they will help you. One of the biggest mistakes ones make is to try and keep it to themselves.

One survey reports that out of people that report abuse 75% of women murdered are at the hands of an abuser that they have been in a relationship with and 16% are men murdered at the hands of their abuser. Some may feel confused, afraid and trapped. You don’t want to be added to those statistics plan a safe exit. If you are in a relationship with a cycle of abuse it will only get worse because your abuser has to continue to control you and instill fear in you. Most times making you feel that it’s your fault. It’s never ever your fault, it’s their own insecurities.

The most important action you can take to stop being a victim is to seek safe help. Never think abusive actions are acceptable. Stop the abusive cycle and don’t become another statistic. Those numbers are real and are alarming. Take it seriously and seek help.


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