- Gender and Relationships»
- Relationship Problems & Advice»
- Breaking Up
How Cowards Break Up
You Want to End it...
I don't need to hear your reasons. You are the only one who is going to believe them.
Let's be honest, well, I'll be honest, most break ups, like start ups, are dramatic.
To Start, there's excitement, passion, focus, it is all happening.
On the other side, Break-ups have a reason and it has to be aired.
You have to announce, even if it is only to yourself.
That is, if you are honest.
If you are honest, and speak to the other person as to why, there may
be shouting or tears. There may be an emotional tsunami.
If you are coward, your reasons are sops to your conscience. They
aren't the truth. They are the kind of blah blah that you think will
get you over.
So let's just say you were only using this person.
Maybe to make another person jealous, maybe to fatten your ego after a bad dump, maybe you don't even know why you don't want this person in your life, but
somehow, you just don't.
A real person would do the long story. Even if it is over a phone. A real person
would want to make the other person understand.
A real person might write an email so as to get it all out without interruption.
A long, explanatory note, so that the other person can understand what
happened and why.
Of course, a coward, can't confront, can't leave proof.
A coward has to resort to other methods.
You can always have your mother forbid you, or relay the fact that 'my parents don't want me to see you.'
This is good for those under twenty. It gets kind of sour when it is someone over thirty. Still, a coward can use it because it is;
a) Someone else told me
b) I have to listen to someone else.
c) It is not me who is breaking up with you
Putting it in the other direction is also useful.
a) Your parents will never accept me
b) Your friends hate me
c) I'll never fit into your life
Again, cowardly but usually effective as long as you don't allow a response.
Using others as the reason is the usual step for a coward. Not me! Is the Cowards creed.
Another useful way out is to blame your job.
Your company is sending you....
you have too much work...
anything that makes it look as if it isn't you who has decided to end it, it must end
because of factors in the environment.
If you can get your company to ship you to Timbuktu, (or take a job in Dubai)
that's The Answer.
Running is always the first choice of a coward.
To get away with the assistance of a job is always a joy.
"It's not me, Babe!" you can say, and pretend tears.
What Not To Do
Now you want to get out of the relationship in a way that it seems that it was beyond you. You don't want to be proved a coward who didn't have the guts to go eye to eye.
Don't go away and say, 'I'm too busy to write' then be on Facebook 24/7 posting pictures and posters and other pointless things twelve times a day. This means;
1. You aren't busy at all
2. You are simply not writing to the ex
This is a kind of 'rub your nose into it'.
The ex will see it, know you are a liar and a coward. These are not good things to be known as. Especially when everyone else can see your Facebook crap.
If you have objected to the fact your ex goes to football all the time, don't be at a match. If you wanted to do the 'X' doesn't like me, don't be communicating with X at all.
If you broke up so you can hook-up with someone else, don't let anyone see you. This can lead to a confrontation, where you new hook up will hear live and direct from your old hook up and lose respect for you, (if any existed).
As A Coward
Confrontation is contraindicated. You can't stand up to any such eye to eye. In fact, if the potential Ex can back you up into a corner, you won't break up.
Hence, as said before, running is your best bet.
Now, some people can just pack up and go and leave out all the discussion. Others need to be sent away. When you can't go away you will have to hide.
You can't have the police looking for you, so would have to make some kind of announcement, which, as a coward, is difficult.
Today, the easiest way for the coward who can't run is the chat box where the
post can be something like, "I think we should see other people..."
You can add something about 'proving we are right for each other'.
You can say, 'I need a time out...' which isn't very good, because the other will have a lot to say about it.
If you can set a scene, it might work; for example...
making it look like you are cheating..(but get caught in public to avoid physical
damage),or that you are involved in some massive criminal organisation and
in danger... to make the other run.
What you can't possibly manage is the person you want to dump being able to look into your face.