- Gender and Relationships
How Do I Get My Lazy Husband to Help With Housework?
Is your man a good for nothing, lazy, TV watching slob? Okay, that may be harsh, but maybe he's just an ordinary Joe, a card carrying member of the Sofaholic club. While you bust your hump to finish the dishes, laundry and cleaning, your husband channel surfs and falls asleep on the couch. He doesn't even notice that you are one dish towel away from a physical meltdown or that you secretly want to string him up by his big toe. If this describes your predicament, join the club. Women, the nation over, are exhausted, beaten down, and in dire need help. They need their husbands to step up.
How to Get Your Husband Moving
Here, in no particular order are six thoughts about men and house work. If you want help, study these ideas and make them your own.
1) Don't tell him to do more than one thing at a time. Tell him one thing he can help you with and leave it at that. Don't, under any circumstance give him a list. Men are genetically wired to reject all lists. If you do this you are doomed to fail.
2) Don't nag. It's an issue of stubborn will and you will not break him. The more you nag, the less he will do. Just ask once and leave it that.
3) Let him decide the timeline. This may sound counter intuitive, but it works. Men need to be in control. The minute they feel threatened they flee. If your man runs, then there is no way he will ever complete the job. Besides, when he completes the job, his pride will be surely let you know that he did it before the time elapsed.
4) Notice what he does, not what he doesn't. Let me put it this way. Imagine if your husband pointed out all of the flaws in your appearance and never noticed your good points. You would eventually break down and stop caring about your appearance. It's the same way with men and housework.
5) Don't asses or redo his work. If you want a job done by your husband and his work doesn't meet your expectations, do the job yourself and don't ask him to do it in the first place. The problem may just be your expectations and not your husband.
6) Let your man be the hero. A man loves to do heroic things for his wife. The problem with housework is your man doesn't understand how it important it is to you that he helps. In many cases, especially if you work, day to day house work is incredibly tiring and draining. It's a burden. He doesn't see the slow burn of exhaustion as easily as they see other threats to your well being. For him to truly understand your difficulty, you need to make a point of explaining your predicament, not in a condescending or angry to tone, but in a manner that conveys your predicament and desperation.
In the case that your husband is a total Brick head and doesn't respond to any of the following tips, then it's time to buy a sledgehammer. Don't jump to conclusions; you're not going to use it on him. Buy the sledge hammer, unplug the TV and drag it out to the driveway. When he comes home from work, just as he turns into the driveway, lift up the sledge hammer and smash the crap out of the TV. He may just get the message.