- Gender and Relationships»
- Advice & Tips for Men in Relationships
How Do I Pick Up That Girl at Work?
After meeting your girl at school, meeting her at work is the second-most common way that people have found the love of their lives. Finding is one thing, and getting is another!
Just as in school, the advantage you have in meeting a girl from work is that you have time. You have plenty of time with her. Time is on your side. If she works in the same department, then wow, you have so much time with her that it’s actually not so good… she’ll see all your faults and your bad habits (which is why you have to be on your best behaviour always if this is the case!). The ideal situation with the girl at work is if you guys are in different departments; you get to see her often enough, yet she won’t see you too often.
Of course, workplaces sometimes have policies against co-workers getting together, but you needn’t worry – it’s not against the law, after all! Just keep your initial intentions (and then relationship) on the down-low and you guys will be OK. And again, there still is the possibility of a bad breakup afterward, which is why being in different departments is preferable to being in the same department. Got that?
- Be friendly, courteous, and kind
- Offer to help when she asks for it and only when she asks
- Offer supportive words if you find out she’s having a hard time at work
- Be on your best behaviour in front of everyone (you don’t know who she talks to)
- Share her attitude towards the job, whether it’s positive or negative
- Purposefully walk by her desk every five minutes
- Be telling everyone in the office of your interest in this girl
- Ask those who work with her about her details, etc.
- Have a desktop or cellphone background of a woman or anything sexual
- Be the one to gossip about anybody at the office
Just like the advantage for getting a girl from school, you also have the advantage of time here. Time is on your side. Usually, people work at any given place for a number of years – and even the people who decide to quit early are at a company for at least a couple months to a year. Thus, there’s also no need to light your pants on fire and be in a rush to get this girl on your arm. Take it easy, pal, you’ll be seeing her at least five days a week for a little while (and she’ll be seeing you, too).
One of the biggest tricks with a girl from the office is that you have to share her attitude. People like to be around people who share the same attitude as them; whether it’s negative or positive, if you want her to be yours, you’re going to have to share that same attitude. This hub is not about the benefits of having a positive attitude at work (we all know that it’s better to have a positive attitude), and it’s not about how to change the girl you like from a negative attitude into a positive attitude (you can work on that once she’s yours). What you’re going to have to do is see things the way she does.
If she loves her job and you don’t, well, you’re going to have to start loving your job! Does she come in early and leave late? Does she volunteer for special events and projects? Well, if you don’t already do such things, it’s time to start! She’ll automatically be attracted to you for sharing the same attitude towards work, and you both will have much more opportunity to spend time with each other outside of office hours (office hours are when people may not have time to socialize).
Maybe she hates her job, however. Maybe she doesn’t hate it, but she complains a lot about the unfairness she sees or the idiocy of the management or how stupid her co-workers are. Maybe you hate the job and the idiots, too! Perfect! If you don’t, though, then it’s time to start seeing things as she does. Being negative about work or the place you work doesn’t mean you’re necessarily negative towards all aspects of life… it just means you probably should find new employment. Anyway, a girl like this would love to have the company of you, a fellow hater. You’ll be able to share inside jokes and sneer together at your colleagues, bringing you two that much closer.
- When you first meet her, it’s a great time to ask her about her work background (not personal details), and it’s a great time to talk about the job (if she’s new).
- Offer your help and actually help whenever work-related difficulties pop up. She’ll appreciate it and she’ll remember you. Just don’t act like you want anything from her.
- You can get her to go to lunch with you fairly early on… but, be aware that you should be inviting her to your lunch with your regular group of co-workers. No dates.
- As the months pass and she realizes you’re a great guy… you can add her on social media (Facebook, WhatsApp, etc.) and get more acquainted with her outside of work. Pay attention to her via social media, but don’t be a stalker (at least, don’t let her know you’ve checked out all her beach vacation photos).
- Finally, after you guys have some rapport and are pretty comfortable with each other, you can invite her out for a coffee on a Friday night. Try the coffee first; you can try for dinner if the coffee date is successful. Don’t frame it as a date, though – it’s just two co-workers going for coffee!
Now, don’t blow it!