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How Do You Know If Your Spouse Is Cheating?

Updated on March 2, 2017
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Maurice Bishop, a powerful, spoken word Poet currently serving in the United States Army. Published Author & Motivational Speaker.


This article is for men and women who possibly believes that their spouse is cheating. However if one believes that their spouse is loyal and been faithful then this article does not pertain to you. I am NOT encouraging one to investigate on your spouse and my motives are not intended to break up marriages. My intended purpose in this article is to shed light and understanding. In other words, if one does find out that their spouse is cheating I highly encourage one to work it out with their spouse IF each party is willing to save their marriage and one stopping his or her infidelity ways.

Three Signs Of Cheating

1. Texting or Calling on Cell Phones in Secrecy

The first sign in cheating is one that is constantly on their cell phone. It's one thing to be on your cell phone when your spouse is with you but to lock yourself in the bathroom, bedroom, basement, outside, or anywhere where your spouse is not present. Sometimes the cheater get so caught up in his or her conversation that he or she may forget how long they secluded themselves from their spouse.

  • Another sign is when your spouse keeps his or her phone close to them when they go to bed at night. One may hide it under his or her bed or under his or her pillow making sure text messages and phone calls are not going off or waiting for a response from that significant other. Most men turn their cell phones completely off to prevent phone calls and text messages in the middle of the night.
  • The third sign is you might see your spouse texting a lot on his phone. If he or she leaves his or her phone unattended, then check his or her text messages. If for some reason you don't see his or her text messages then he or she either deleted the messages or has an app on the phone that hides text messages. One of the app is called 'Black book'. You would not be able to find that app on his phone unless you go to system settings where you could manage apps.. If you find this app then he is hiding something or someone. If he didn't change the password you could dial 11111 or 91111 and that should bring up his contacts on Black book. Most cheaters has a secure password so it may not be that easy. Another app is called 'Calculator'. With this app you can use it as a calculator but if you have his or her password you can open up his secret contacts. If he didn't change his password it's 123+=. If it doesn't work then he changed his password.

2. Don't Want to Have Sex

  • Another sign of cheating is when the spouse makes excuses about why he or she doesn't want to have sex. For a man, he may go to bed early and not want to be bother with you. He doesn't want to kiss you, cuddle with you, or even touch you. If the man is the type of man that gets sex on a regular basis and he stops having sex with his wife, then there is a possibility that he's cheating.
  • A woman could even put her sexy lingerie on, fish net stockings, smelling real good, body all oiled up, but if the man sees her and ignores her then that man may be cheating. It's vice versa with a woman. A woman makes excuses like 'I'm tired', ' I had a long day at work', 'I'm on my period', and sometimes they will act like they're sick just for that man to leave her alone.

3. The Eyes

  • You can receive a lot of answers when you look in one's eyes. If you feel like you are being cheated on, look in your spouse eyes and tell him or her 'Are you cheating on me'? When you ask this question be very calm and not so demanding because accusations can cause arguments. For a man he may raise his eye brows like are you serious and tell you what he does for you and start an argument. In spite of this still remain calm and observe his eyes. Most men won't look in your eyes and will try to cut the conversation short or just walk away. A loyal man wouldn't be defensive about the question and actually would ask you why you think that.
  • For a woman, she might not be able to look in her spouse eyes or she will try to change the subject. Most women are like men that would start the argument and make you feel bad for accusing her. Most women are great liars but if you look in their eyes long enough you can crack them down. The eyes never lie.

Closing Statement

In conclusion, I hope this article was helpful for those who read this. If you find out that your spouse is cheating I strongly recommend to work it out. There is life after infidelity. I've seen marriages become stronger in spite of a cheating spouse giving her husband an STD.They are still married and been married for 14 years. It is possible. Don't give up so easily.

A Must See!!

Betrayal - Spoken Word Poetry


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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 5 years ago

      These are all excellent "clues" which should cause one to suspect betrayal. What makes a person suspect their mate is cheating is (a change in their behavior). Generally speaking these are changes we don't like or approve of.

      If an investigation turned up no "proof" of cheating it is unlikely one would jump for joy if those same behaviors remained in place. Our need to "prove" someone is cheating on us is ego driven especially if our mate denies they are doing something wrong. We feel the need to "bust" them to show we are not crazy and illustrate how smart we are. Afterwards we have to decide whether to leave or stay in the relationship.

      There are some people that need their mate to cheat or abuse them in order for them to "justify" walking away from the relationship or marriage. It's as if being "unhappy" or discovering the two of you (don't want the same things) for the relationship/marriage is not enough of a reason to end it.

      Know yourself, Love yourself, and Trust yourself. "If something doesn't (feel) right to you then it's probably (not) right for you." Move on! Life is too short to be investing time and money trying to confirm someone is cheating on you. Assume you are right! Even if you are wrong it still does not the change the fact you are unhappy with things in the relationship.