ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How Important is Physical Chemistry in a Relationship?

Updated on May 27, 2019
EvieSparkes profile image

Evie Sparkes is a published novelist, content writer, and company director from the UK.

What is Chemistry Between Couples

Chemistry is a surge of energy you get when you are together. That's the best way I can define it. Quite honestly it isn't easy to describe in words, but you know when you have it and more importantly, when you don't. It's a connection that is unique to you both. Perhaps each person feels it differently who knows. I often think about our feelings and how we assume others have the exact same one's. What if the colour blue actually looks completely different to someone else? How would you know? You wouldn't.

There are definitely different levels of chemistry. Sometimes it becomes more powerful over time, but more often than not, it is an instant feeling. It's like magnetism I suppose. You might find yourself wanting to touch them at every opportunity, looking at them when they aren't looking at you,

Every time I have been in a relationship without physical chemistry, it hasn't lasted. I know people that have gone on to have very successful relationships without that initial chemistry however.

Strong chemistry doesn't necessarily last, but it can. For me however, it's important at the beginning. If I don't have it, then deep down I know it won't develop. Chemistry is something you either have with someone or you don't. I have also had chemistry with someone and ended it because he would constantly question my feelings for him. In the end it got the better of me and the chemistry dwindled.

What actually creates strong chemistry is tough to nail down, but it's a mutual feeling. You can't have chemistry with someone if they don't feel it. It just doesn't work like that. When you have chemistry you have a connection that is like nothing else. You can also have it with friends not just partners.

During my school days I had two friends. One with which I had huge chemistry and one with which I didn't. There was nothing wrong with the that friendship however. It just felt like harder work. When you have chemistry you can just sit and say nothing if you feel so inclined. Where there is no chemistry you feel the need to fill the void.

Is Chemistry All You Need?

Although chemistry is important at the beginning of your relationship, it will not sustain it all by itself.

Are you compatible if you don't have chemistry? I think there's a difference between compatibility and chemistry. Many arranged marriages work because both husband and wife are compatible although they don't necessarily have physical chemistry.

Compatibility is the alignment of lifestyle choices and personal values between two people. If say, I met a beautiful twenty eight year old guy, we might have a ton of chemistry, but the chances that we'd be compatible are fairly slim.

Chemistry and Sex

If you have chemistry, the chances of good sex are increased. No chemistry often results in unsatisfactory and dare I say, boring sex. Chemistry means each of you instinctively knows what the other wants in bed. A lack of chemistry points probably makes you less inclined to ask.

It's the intensity that isn't there when there is a lack of chemistry. It can't be helped. Intense sex is always going to be more enjoyable than the average kind.

Should You Hold Out For Chemistry?

In a word...yes. It's my opinion that no-one should settle. There is someone out there for you. He or she is the one that will make you understand what's it's all about. Perhaps you have had chemistry with someone in the past. You already know the feeling and you have been disappointed not to have experienced it since. You feel like giving up and making do because maybe you're just being too picky.

I have a friend who continually finished with guys for ridiculous reasons. One time it was because he had horrible shoes! Fashion was a big turn off for her. She said it was a deal breaker and it appeared she meant it. However, a couple of years later she met a guy at a wedding. He had the worst shoes on and dressed in absolutely the wrong way for her strict relationship requirements. Guess what? They had the most amazing chemistry and now they are married.

You simply cannot fight chemistry. Even if the person in question is actually totally unsuitable, the chances are that you will ignore all of that in favour of great sex.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)