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How Not To Lose Loved Ones Over Lingerie

Updated on January 19, 2010
I love you Romeo, but wouldst thou not wear thy purple stockings? It offends my shallow sense of femininity...
I love you Romeo, but wouldst thou not wear thy purple stockings? It offends my shallow sense of femininity...

It's a common fear (and occasionally, even a reality,) that revealing the fact that you are a man who loves to wear lingerie will push away loved ones and leave you lonely and sadly alone. Some men who share their secrets with their romantic partners find support and love that they did not know existed before they shared their secrets. Other men who share their feelings end up embroiled in bitter disputes and sometimes even divorce.

What are the differences between these two groups of men? Are men who find acceptance simply luckier than ones who do not? Perhaps, or perhaps these men have chosen partners who love them for them, rather than what they imagine them to be.

Romantic love is held up as one of the highest human conditions. It allows us to make sacrifices, to, in extreme circumstances, even die for the ones we love. Now I ask you, if your partner is truly in that state of love, the state of love where they are ready to, or indeed, already have, before man and God pledged their life to you, does it make any form of sense that they should reject you over such a shallow subject as clothing?

I deeply question the commitment and real love that any woman has for a man if she is willing to leave him over the clothing he chooses to wear. Over your lifetime together, you will face many challenges, the least of which is the fact that on some days, your lingerie may be lacier than hers. What if you became ill? Would she stand by you then? Or would you have outlived your usefulness to her? What if you lost your job and could no longer support a family in the way you once could? Would she leave you then?

What with sickness, job troubles, the harrowing experience of raising children long enough for them to attain an age where if they drink drain cleaner its their own silly faults, long term relationships need to be able to weather all kinds of storms. If your romantic partner flees at the first sign of nylon and lace sun showers, she was not the one for you and you have saved yourself a great deal of long term pain and suffering. At least, that's the way I see it.

So how do you prevent the loss of loved ones? By only loving the ones who love you for who you are. Don't keep your lingerie a secret. There is nothing shameful about it, and if a prospective partner thinks there is, then you just weeded out an incredibly shallow person who would probably only have caused you great pain in the long run.

Keepers don't run from panties.


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    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      8 years ago

      It's unlikely that relationship issues such as the ones you're describing have anything to do with lingerie, Judy.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      I love my husband. But the only thing that bothers me is I have a 8 year old son. What if he sees his dad in a nightgown or panties, how am I going to explain that to a child........My husband don't wear his ring, he has not been a husband in almost 3 years in the bedroom , so what am I suppose to do ?

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      I completely agree Hope. My wife knows, supports and buys my lingerie for me. When I told her she said that she loves me for me, not what I wore.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Hope -

      Extremely well written.



    • profile image

      pantied bill 

      8 years ago

      Right ON Hope. If the relationship breaks due to something like lingerie, then perhaps it was not meant to be. As I was told not so long ago... If you can not get along (with each other) then it is time to get along (down the road).

      Keep up the great posts.

    • Philipo profile image


      8 years ago from Nigeria

      Very nice one. Thanks fr sharing.


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