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Getting Girls to Go Out With You: How to Ask a Hot Girl Out on a Date

Updated on March 18, 2016

You're in a bar. You look across the room. There she is. The girl of your dreams. Your heart races. Your loins buzz. A bead of sweat starts to form on your forehead. Your feet want to race across the room, but your brain puts a stop to it. You have no idea what to do. You ask yourself an inevitable series of questions for which you have no answer:

How do I ask this girl out?

Why won't she go out with me?

How do I get this girl?

How do I get this girl to go out with me?

How do I stop the flop sweat?

Gentlemen, guys, men, boys - I am a girl. I have girl parts. I have girlfriends. To help you hone your technique and better understand what moves work and what moves don't, I've put together this little article for you. Read this and the next time you look across the room and see that girl, you'll know what to do. And don't fret, this isn't all about bar-hopping. The techniques in this article will work no matter whether you are 8 or 80.

Could that guy be you?
Could that guy be you? | Source

Ways Not to Ask Out a Girl

Let's start with the bad moves; the ones that don't work and make you look like a jerk and feel like a loser. Sometimes, it's better to start with the things that don't work rather than jump right to what does work because it allows us to reflect on our errors. Realize that your male brethren, no matter how slick, have had those uncertain moments (and us women have them too, of course). No one, no matter how naturally gifted, becomes an expert at something without practice. You'll need to practice and you may fail a few times. Hey you'll probably fall flat on your face a few times. At least begin on the right foot by avoiding some of these boneheaded moves when trying to ask out a girl:

  • Have a friend do it for you - Nothing screams lack of self-confidence louder than urinating on yourself during a public speaking engagement. Second place in the lacking self-confidence Olympics goes to getting a friend to ask out a girl you want to ask out. Okay, maybe it's not second, but it's in the top ten. Is that same friend going to kiss her too? Maybe he'll marry her for you too. Guys, from the female point-of-view, you're telling us that you don't have the guts to ask us out yourself and this is profoundly unattractive. We suddenly imagine walking in the woods with you, happening upon a wild animal, and feeling your reassuring hand shoving us in the back as you run the other way. Oooh, sign me up.
  • Using a cheesy pick-up line - There are lines that most of us women have heard over and over again. Any guy worth five seconds of our time should have thought through some of them before using one. The first thing that comes out of your mouth says a lot about you. If you use a mediocre line, then you're mediocre. If you use a boring line, then you're probably boring. Look, you don't have to be Shakespeare, but a little creativity goes a long way.
  • Some pick-up lines you can avoid - Let's take a short intermission to review some pick-up lines that don't work (imagine a guy approaching a girl and this is the first thing he says): "Baby got back", "If I said I liked your chest, would you hold it against me?", "I'd hit that", "Nice rack", "Hey", "You want some of this?", "Bitch, you smokin' hot", "I'm hung like a horse". Look, anything crass or predictable should be off-limits. It may work occasionally, but your odds are better if you don't use them.
  • Texting or emailing - I know some of you younger men will object, particularly because I'm betting this has worked for you. However, I'm telling you you'll have more success with the direct, in-person approach. Texting and emailing is inherently impersonal and conveys a lack of intimacy. Ultimately, if it's something you rely on, you'll get lazy and your overall skill will diminish over time and you won't know what to do face-to-face. If you have to text, do it as a reason to meet somewhere so you can do the asking in person.
  • Beating around the bush - Hey, you've worked up the courage to approach a woman and strike up a conversation, but you can't quite pull the trigger. You talk about going places, doing things, but you don't come out directly and ask her out. The conversation goes from five minutes to ten minutes to thirty minutes and I guarantee the woman is trying to figure out a way to get the heck out of there or kill herself. Do yourself and the girl a favor, be direct. You don't have to ask her out in five words or less, but don't let the conversation drag on forever.

What's Worked Best For You Asking Women Out?

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How would you approach her?
How would you approach her? | Source

Ways to Ask Out a Girl

  • Be confident - This is the most important piece of advice I have to offer. Women like confident men. If you approach whichever woman you're going to approach, no matter what age you are, and you do it completely lacking self-confidence, you're probably going to strike-out. If you approach believing in yourself, unconcerned about what kind of answer you're going to get because you're happy with your life and who you are, the chances of getting a positive answer rise dramatically. Don't worry about the result. Worry about the presentation. If the presentation is good, the results will come. And if she says no, don't grovel. Just smile, turn around, and think about the next girl you're going to ask out.
  • Send a hand-written note - There's something about a hand-written note that's tender and intimate. Used properly, it will make that girl you want feel special. Unless you're a professional poet, I'd avoid that sort of thing, but a note that's direct, heartfelt, and well-written, will get her attention. It's old school and interesting.
  • Look like you're enjoying yourself - Nothing is more attractive than a smile except a nice butt and a six-pack. Anyway, you may find the act of approaching and asking out a woman a torturous experience. If that torture is written all over your face, us ladies know and it becomes torture for us too. Relax, smile, have fun. Try not to drool. Smiling is contagious. It tells us that you're cool under pressure. Women like that. A lot.
  • Breath Mints - A short interlude on the importance of good breath and teeth-brushing. You do everything right. Your approach is flawless. You get near her. You utter the perfect line. Your breath smells like an elephant's butt. Remember, you're going to talk to her. Make sure your breath smells good and you smell good.
  • Be creative but not weird - You want to give the girl something a little different than what she's used to, but you don't want to spin out of control into the land of the weird. What do I mean? If you want to ask her out, you can always walk up and say: "hey, do you want to go out?" It's dull, but direct. Then you can put a little spin on that mediocrity. Maybe you walk up and give her a piece of candy and launch into a conversation. Whatever. What you don't want to do is something that makes you seem weird. Asking a woman out is no time for weird. Be a little innovative, but don't go crazy.
  • Don't just ask her out - Don't just ask her out. Be specific. Walking up and saying "do you want to go out sometime?" could mean anything from a cup of coffee to a weekend at the grandparents' annual swing dance and jello eating contest. Tell her what you want to do. No girl wants to make an open-ended commitment with somebody she's just met unless he's Justin Timberlake. Besides, knowing exactly what you want to do with a girl shows confidence and planning and is very attractive. There's a big difference between "do you want to hang out?" and "Would you join me for some coffee? I know this great bench overlooking the pier. It's spectacular at dusk."


Submit a Comment

  • Joseph Agole profile image

    Joseph Agole 

    4 years ago

    wha a fabulous hub! i never used 2 knw dis bt nw i thnk i am a beta man,thnx a lot.

  • Mellonyy profile image


    6 years ago

    Hi, Sychophantastic!

    I liked this part most..."I'm telling you you'll have more success with the direct, in-person approach.." It's true. Thumbs up! I also wrote article on similar topic and I follow you now. Shared.

  • Jameshank profile image


    7 years ago from Japan, NY, California

    How about "Do you live around here often?"

  • profile image


    7 years ago

    For me there's a lot of best way to ask a girl to go out, it is just depends on the man self confidence. If a man can't talk clearly to a girl the he had zero chance to ask her out.

  • get-a-girl profile image


    7 years ago from St. Augustine, Florida

    Great tips. Those cheesy pickup lines are definitely not the way to go EVER!!!

  • danielleantosz profile image


    7 years ago from Florida

    Good tips. A good old "Want to grab coffee sometime" usually works...unless you have already been a creeper :)

  • happychappyjb profile image


    7 years ago from UK

    I don't like texting, but It must be intemidating to always a call from me. Just imaginging how it would be like...

    One important thing about guies, wrt The first picture on the top, we don't like to be someone else. Yp its that Male ego. On another note it makes that girl look like a prosi... Cheers J

  • ThoughtSandwiches profile image


    7 years ago from Reno, Nevada

    Hi Sychophantastic...I'm a lame guy...perhaps this will help. If it doesn't...well that would be a lack of performance on my part...not a lack of preparation on your part! So it's "creative" ...NOT weird?? THAT explains the look on that girl's face... Great Hub! Voted Up, funny, useful, and interesting.


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