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How To Be Mysterious To Men

Updated on February 11, 2010

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How to be a mysterious woman

Hi lovely! I hope you’re having a lovely day wherever you are.

It doesn’t matter what your relationship circumstances are, and whether you live with your man or you don’t live with him, being mysterious is an art practiced by women that will never go out of fashion! Feminine women are particularly good at being mysterious to their man, because women who live truly in their feminine energy are more mysterious to men anyway; as men don't understand women nearly as much as they understand men. We all actually understand our own sex better, because we’ve been that sex our whole lives! So, if you are too much like your man (more in to men’s interests), you'll be able to be understood and 'worked out' much more easily by your man.Being a mystery involves triggering people's curiosity and being harder to understand than others are. It's also about not being readily available.

If you’re married and living with your man, it may SEEM like it’s harder, or even impossible to be mysterious. This is not true. It all depends on you, and who you are showing up as in your relationship. We all have different sides to us that we can bring out at different times.

In order to be mysterious, you must remember that being enigmatic is all about not being easily worked out and understood. Maybe even impossible to work out ;)

How do you become a mysterious woman? There are many, many ways for you to do this!

Here is What to Do

- Break the routine. There are so many strategies for doing this. Basically, you want to change things that you know you and him have gotten used to, or even started to expect. If you know your man expects you to do a certain thing at a certain time, don't do it! If he comes home at a certain time and you're usually at home then; GO OUT! :) You can even just walk the dog. Catch up with a friend at this time, take the kids out, be on the phone when he comes home (without letting him hear your conversation).

- Don't always have a response to everything. If you've got a predictable personality, just sometimes, you can change the way you respond to and do things. If you have strong opinions on some things, and he thinks he knows what you think of it, and says something knowing what your response will be; don't say anything! To put it simply, don't be predictable!

- Smirk or give a cheeky grin in lieu of using words. If you feel that the mystery is lacking, RESIST talking to him instead of talking. I know this can be hard, because us girlies love to chat, but it will be well worth it!

- If you normally talk about your day to him when he comes home from work, or when you come home, don't talk about your day! It’s ok to just let him wonder every once in a while. Instead, you can ask him about his day, and get HIM chatting.

- Don’t be predictable in communication by way of cell phone/e-mail/SMS/Facebook. Sometimes it’s good to take hours to reply to him, or to not reply at all. This may seem a little harsh, and you may feel guilty, but as long as you keep giving him small reasons and references to believe that you really do love him, he will be fine with it.

- Make plans to be out and unavailable sometimes. If you don't have many friends to go out with, make some friends! Go to a dance class or a meet up group. Take lessons in dancing, sports, sewing, flower arranging, makeup application – whatever interests you!

- Have lots of feminine passions that you can engage in at home. Maybe have a room in the home where you typically go to that is exclusively yours. Close the door and do what you do without letting him in (unless necessary). Do whatever you want to do, whatever tickles your fancy. Just don’t always tell him what you’re doing in there.

- If you have a bad day, and you usually confide in him about it; talk to a girlfriend instead and you don’t have to let him know about it. He doesn't have to know all of your emotions, thoughts and feelings. (Of course you can talk to him when you're sad, and you need to in order to become close to him, but you don't have to all the time).

- If you tell him you're going out somewhere, (this works particularly well on the protective and territorial man, and most masculine men have these two traits) don't tell him where you're going all the time. If you don’t want to tell him where you’re going, and would rather keep the mystery, just tell him you are unsure of where you’re going yet. This will work well for a day out with a girlfriend.

- Change your shampoo, makeup or perfume that you use, etc. You can change your favourite pair of jeans that you love, too. Most men don't notice small changes but they will most likely notice it subconsciously. Even if he doesn't mention it to you, you are actually creating the ASSOCIATION in his mind that you = mysterious.

- Organize weekends away with your kids, girlfriends or family. You can go alone and not bring him along with you. This is great for keeping him wondering about where you are.

- Listen more than you speak. There is nothing that's more important than this if you want to become more mysterious. Talking often gives people a clear image/idea of how you think and feel and doesn't leave as much to the imagination.

- If you are sexually active with your man, often change/alter the energy. Let it fluctuate. You may want to keep him wondering whether you desire him sexually or not. You don't have to make sex with him a regular and consistent thing. Be intimate with him a few times one week, and then have a week or 2 off. Whatever suits you. They were just numbers I chose. Ultimately, you know your relationship most. Men need uncertainty in intimacy! You must keep him on the tip of his toes and not let him have you all 'worked out'!

- Keep accentuating and honoring the differences between the two of you. This is why learning the art of femininity is so important. If a woman has a lot in common with men, she's not so mysterious to them anymore, because men understand men and women understand women. Do all you can to learn about femininity and embody a feminine woman. The things you understand well are most likely the things he doesn’t understand. Doing these will keep him fascinated! It's all about being more of a woman!

Learning strategies on how to do things in your intimate relationship does not mean you're being manipulative, our just out there to serve yourself. It just means you're bringing out more sides to you! You're not just one kind of person lovely. You're many different people on the inside, and you can choose which person to bring out at the right time. This is a skill that requires a lot of self-awareness. It's when you're completely readable and predictable that you become boring to your man.

If you are always the same kind of person, it makes it harder for you to be exciting and fascinating to your man. You have to keep him stimulated and provide your relationship with lots of variety! You will both have a lot more fun and have more lasting passion in your relationship. He will also respect you more, and be much less likely to find another woman to meet his needs.

If you are interested in learning more about how to make your man cherish and worship your for life, please visit

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    • profile image


      5 years ago

      all you men saying this doesn't work..whatever! when a girl puts her cards on the table you all run for the hills and u know it!

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Too much distance can kill a relationship faster than anything.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      As a man I find this acting game repulsive. Men are so sick of games and women don't need to be any more mysterious then they already naturally are. Grow up already and just be yourself! If a guy isn't into you, it's not because you are lacking in something. Go find someone who genuinely likes you for you. If a guy isn't into you, but he's still with you, then he's a jerk, and you are here just trying to impress an idiot. It's things like this article and other games that women play like this that make men call women game players. I thought you girls were sick of games. That's what you say anyway. Be more real.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      This could be a good way to either regain interest in the relationship or end it completely. Men get confidence through there relationships and if he takes this as your messing with him then it will probably just lead to fight after fight. Men at times would like this but at others will feel disinterested. Be careful whenever you purposely set out to accomplish something with a man. We hate that and more often than not we aren't going to be happy and would rather you just work on bettering yourself. One, it is something they can't say anything about it because if it is beneficial to you than you will be happier. And thus you will be in better spirits in the relationship. This will take time and they don't have to understand exactly what you are into and it will still give that sense of mystery you are looking for. plotting scenarios of how to feign interested in men is not the the way to go about it. Actually having interests is.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      lovely,men unknowingly love mystery and always in search of what they can't completely get.very interesting.i like it.thank u

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Great tips! Men are just crazy..the fact that we even have ot be so "mysterious" is so funny...but true.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      OMG this was the shitt. i got laid because of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • profile image

      Alpha Man 

      9 years ago

      Nice, but these are old tricks. When a woman tries to act Mysterious with me, I know she's a player and makes me run for the exit.

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      9 years ago

      Nicely done!

    • Renee Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      Renee Rose 

      9 years ago

      Thank You tim-tim! Thanks for commenting! Much appreciated :)

    • tim-tim profile image

      Priscilla Chan 

      9 years ago from Normal, Illinois

      Very unique hub! Thanks, I enjoyed it:)


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