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How To Be The Husband Every Wife Wants

Updated on September 23, 2015

Let's face it: we just don't understand each other. Men and women are completely different creatures with completely different needs. And guys, through observation and what I've heard, tend to give up on trying to woo their wives after maybe, like, the honeymoon? They've accomplished their task: get the girl. On to the next thing!

BUT, they tend to be unhappy when the sizzle starts to fade in the bedroom and the wife becomes disinterested in the physical side of their relationship. If a guy is smart, he will take my advice and watch what happens with a little bit of insight and effort.

Give Her Some Attention

Wives sometimes feel forgotten and unappreciated. This is, like, the easiest thing a husband can do to start to make her feel loved again. And when she feels loved, chances are she will want to make you feel loved in YOUR way!

It is easy to get caught up in the pressures of daily life only to come home and crash, not really paying attention to each other. Throw kids in the mix and time spent focused on each other goes out the window entirely without some proactive effort.

Most wives I know would love for their husbands to just sit down with them and listen while she shares how she feels things are going, what happened during her day, her dreams for the future, etc. For bonus, you can share your thoughts, too!

If you have kids, surprise her with a babysitter and an evening out at a restaurant where you are not on your cell phone, clearly distracted or in a bad mood.

A Little Chivalry Goes A Long Way

It is sad that with the emergence of the feminist movement, chivalry has all but died. Yes, woman want to be respected as capable, educated human beings. But woman also want to be cherished.

If you start to open doors for her, carry things for her, help her down steps, put your hand on the small of her back while you are talking to other people....anything that shows her and other people that she is yours, she will feel like you cherish her.

I don't know any women that wouldn't enjoy this kind of treatment from her significant other, but be sure and show her you respect her as well. When my husband remembers to do these things for me it is so romantic and it revives my desire for him, in all ways.

Compliment Her In Front Of, Or To Other People

Though this might embarrass some women a little, most will at least feel some amount of pleasure when their husbands brag on them. Lots of married people participate in husband and wife bashing, but how many talk highly of their spouse?

This one is especially good if she overhears you bragging about her on the phone to someone. That spares her the embarrassment of being present in the moment. Even if you aren't necessarily bragging on her but just talking about her in the conversation can be pleasing to a wife. She then feels like she is a big part of your life.

Start A New Project, or Sport, Together

Men are doers. Most men I know have some kind of project going on at all times. Your wife would be pleased for you to say, "Honey, I want to spend more time with you. Would you like to start jogging in the mornings together?" Or "Let's redo the bathroom," then decide together on colors and decor.

Knowing that their husband wants to spend time with them will make them feel loved, even if they aren't thoroughly interested in the project. Some ideas for projects or activities are:

  • Restore something together (a car, boat, furniture, etc.)
  • Hiking
  • Geocaching
  • Any form of exercise together (running, swimming, walking)
  • Ride bikes or motorcycles
  • Fishing
  • Archery
  • Home renovation

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Be Vulnerable With Her

A man has a hard time showing vulnerability to anyone, let alone his wife. I know this is a hard one, but wives long to hear their husbands need them. And not just that their husband needs a woman to cook and clean for them, but that their husband needs THEM, specifically.

She needs to know she is irreplaceable and that he would be lost without her. Of course, don't say these things if they aren't true. If you are struggling with something, express it to her, and let her care for you. If you haven't seriously wounded her or are dealing with bitterness, she will not hurt you while you are vulnerable. She will recognize you are sharing part of yourself with her and will respect that.

Ways To Romance Your Wife

  • Leave her a note telling her how much you love her
  • Bring home flowers
  • Give her a back rub
  • Three words: jewelry, jewelry, jewelry.
  • Cook her dinner
  • Surprise her with a visit from a special person, like mother or adult child that you don't see that often
  • Call her in the middle of the day to see how she is doing
  • Surprise her by taking a day off without telling her until that morning
  • Give her a gift certificate to a spa

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Anticipate Her Needs

Think about what her daily life consists of. Then think of ways you can help or encourage her. If she is a stay at home mom, offer to watch the kids so she can get some much-needed alone time. If she works, pick up supper on the way home so she doesn't have to cook one night. If she is sick, bring her medicine and drinks.

If you start doing these things you are going to shock the socks off of her!

And Last, But Not Least...

Make her a top priority in your life. Whenever you can, turn down someone or something else for her. If she is sick, take a day off to care for her. If a friend asks you to do something over the weekend, but you know she is wanting some family time, turn him down. If you tell her that you will be getting home at a certain time, be sure and be home at that time. If for some reason you see you are going to be late, let her know as soon as possible and apologize. Let her see that your word to her is dependable and you will not let her down.

These are just a few ways to reignite your heart's wife toward you. Just remember, a little bit of effort goes a long way in marriage.


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