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How To Become A Stronger And More Independent Woman, 10 Tips To Think About

Updated on January 14, 2010
Inspiring:a tree is truly independent, relying solely on God, nature and itself for survival. To me, to be independent is to be like the tree, to have the qualities of a tree. strong, offers shade, fruit and shelter to those who need it, taking nothi
Inspiring:a tree is truly independent, relying solely on God, nature and itself for survival. To me, to be independent is to be like the tree, to have the qualities of a tree. strong, offers shade, fruit and shelter to those who need it, taking nothi
 

  • 1) Make a decision to be independent. Independence is in a way, being able to make decisions and then acting upon them. Independence is also being able to correct a decision that you may have taken and that could have gone wrong. But first you need to take that decision-for yourself.

  • 2) Independence means different things for different people. To the poor- it could be financial independence, to a cripple it could be physical independence, to an addict it could be independence from drugs or alcohol, to the ill it could be independence from medication, and many other meanings for many other people. Understand that there are many types of independence, physical, emotional, mental, material. What kind of independence are you looking for?

  • 3) Connect with yourself. Understand that you are a woman and you don't necessarily need to be like a man to be independent, many men are not independent, they could be financially independent, but not emotionally independent.

  • 4) Ensure you have a connection with your emotions too. Know what you are feeling inside.

  • 5) Accept responsibility for your life. Accept that you are where you are because that is where you wanted to be. Move from a "victim mentality" to a "creator mentality".

  • 6) Get a clear picture of what an "independent woman" means to YOU. Is it just being able to repair a fuse, or fix a leaking faucet, or being able to change a tyre that means independent or is it something deeper? For instance, being financially stable, being in control of your financial situation, feeling secure in your life no matter what is happening around you. Do you feel being married or in a relationship is being dependent? List down all the qualities YOU think are important to be an independent woman. Most women confuse independence as being limited to financially independent. No doubt financial independence is important, but you will find that independence is a lot more than that.

Your list could be something like this-

To me, being independent means being able to....

  • a) Drive a car
  • b) Earn money
  • c) Fix a faucet
  • d) Balance my accounts
  • e) Educate my children
  • f) Go on a holiday.......
  • g) (what ever.. make it as detailed as possible)

  • 7) After you have a clear idea in your mind about what independence means to you, then- Identify areas where you feel incapable or dependent. Do you feel incapable of accepting that it is normal be cared for, or normally most people want to feel they are being cared for? Do you feel selfish if you care about yourself? Do you feel incapable of accepting help from another person-man or woman? Do you feel incapable of controlling your financial situation-whatever it is? Do you think asking for help is a sign of weakness or dependence? Why do you think that? Don't you think it is so much smarter to ask for help when you need it? For example- I dislike these new fancy gadgets that come up in the market, even cell phones that have too any features that I feel I cannot use. Do I really need to be "tech-savvy" to be independent? What If I do get myself one of those gizmos, I can always ask for help on how to use it till I learn how to use it.

  • 8) Identify your strengths and weaknesses. List them down. For e.g. your strength may be earning good money from a business or a job, your weakness maybe not knowing how to handle money. Or your strength could be, understanding your family, being the care-taker for your family, your weakness could be - not being able to say no- when you want to. Not being able to make time for yourself to do things that you want to do because you are loaded with stuff doing things for others- (could be your boss or if you are a businesswoman- your clients) that leaves you with no time and energy for yourself.

  • 9) Identify areas where you can easily make changes first. And then go about making those changes. If you feel you cannot easily make that change- ask yourself why? Is it about feeling tied down, not being able to live your own life because you need to take care of an "invalid" family member who depends upon you for their survival? For example going off on a holiday? Ask yourself why you feel you cannot find a caretaker for that relative for a week till you come back. Very often you will find simple solutions, only you have not taken time to sit and think about what could happen if you made the change; or that you are too scared of making a change.

  • 10) Independence is about being flexible and adapting to changing situations. Independence is about being your own support system, independence is about accepting that you are responsible for anything and everything in your life and that YOU can change that whenever you wish. Independence is about trusting yourself, believing in yourself. Independence is about being able to go on regardless of another's opinion -it is like learning to ride a bicycle. The first time you get the training wheels off, you fall off a few times, but each time you get up, dust yourself and get back on that bike, balance yourself -adjust the height of the seat, maybe try a different stance, till you get it right.

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    • profile image

      kewl_coach 8 years ago

      Great Article......Keep It Up

    • profile image

      kewl_coach 8 years ago

      Great Article......Keep It Up

    • spicegal profile image

      spicegal 8 years ago from india

      GR8 HUB;;INSPIRATIONAL;;THANKS

    • Vibhavari profile image
      Author

      Vibhavari 8 years ago from India

      Hi spicegal,

      It was a pleasure writing this hub :) and thank you so much for stopping by, I'm happy to have created something that inspires people, in whatever little way..

    • profile image

      Mugdha 7 years ago

      Hi Vibs,

      While reading ur article, i felt as if i'm ''underlining'' wht i keep thinking! Since i'm fully into ''mom's role'' n really have no particular time for my own interests n ideas to implement, i've to keep myself preaching over n over again....but after reading ur article, i got the way as to how i can b cool till the things take time to shape!Thanks!

    • Katrina Ariel profile image

      Katrina Ariel 7 years ago from The Highlands of British Columbia, Canada

      These are great steps to reach clarity and empowerment. Excellent hub.

    • Vibhavari profile image
      Author

      Vibhavari 7 years ago from India

      Hi Katrina Ariel,

      thank you for stopping by and I'm really happy to know you found these tips useful!

    • lovelypaper profile image

      Renee S 7 years ago from Virginia

      Very thought provoking. I need to get that little seed of thought into my consciouness. Thanks.

    • figment profile image

      Karli Duran 7 years ago from Texas

      Enjoyed this Hub.

    • Vibhavari profile image
      Author

      Vibhavari 7 years ago from India

      Hi lovelypaper,

      Thank you for stopping by and I'm glad this gave you something to think about, :)

      @figment: thank you figment, I enjoyed writing it as much as you enjoyed reading it. It is a pleasure!

    • SoundAdvice profile image

      SoundAdvice 7 years ago from Australia

      Hi vibhavari,

      great article. Gave me something to think about and not to mention a lot of inspiration.

      Keep up the good work!

    • Vibhavari profile image
      Author

      Vibhavari 7 years ago from India

      Hi SoundAdvice,

      Thank you so much and I'm glad you found this hub inspiring. It is one of my best hubs. God Bless.

    • FeliceA profile image

      FeliceA 7 years ago

      Nice hub. Thanks for writing it!

    • Vibhavari profile image
      Author

      Vibhavari 7 years ago from India

      Hi FeliceA, I'm glad you liked it, I loved writing it.

    • Ask Jan profile image

      Ask Jan 7 years ago from http://hubpages.com/profile/Ask+Jan

      Love this-every women should read this!

    • Vibhavari profile image
      Author

      Vibhavari 7 years ago from India

      Thanks Jan!

    • nikipa profile image

      nikipa 7 years ago from Eastern Europe

      Great Advice! I do appreciate your work!

      Thank you!

    • Vibhavari profile image
      Author

      Vibhavari 7 years ago from India

      Hi nikipa,

      Thank you so much. and you are welcome!

      love and god bless.

    • Rismayanti profile image

      Rismayanti 7 years ago from Tropical Island

      the best still have a live partner... think million time to be alone and independent like that

    • Vibhavari profile image
      Author

      Vibhavari 7 years ago from India

      Hi Rismayanti,

      thank you for stopping by. I think it all boils down to the choices we make.

    • profile image

      dracaslair 7 years ago

      this is great write more

    • Vibhavari profile image
      Author

      Vibhavari 7 years ago from India

      Thank you dracaslair.. I will write more along these lines.

    • profile image

      car 6 years ago

      the more you isolate yourself, the more independent you become. =D

    • Vibhavari profile image
      Author

      Vibhavari 6 years ago from India

      Hi car2, thank you for your feedback.

    • dawnM profile image

      Dawn Michael 6 years ago from THOUSAND OAKS

      yes women have to be independent and learn how to take care of themselves, it is very important, to realize that women are strong and can stand alone if they have to, after all a man can not give birth, I think that the pain would kill them....lol

      great article

    • Vibhavari profile image
      Author

      Vibhavari 6 years ago from India

      Hi dawnM,

      Thanks for your feedback, I think one of the biggest flaws in a woman's thinking is that she thinks she is not strong enough, or capable enough and she rarely recognizes her own strengths and gifts that she brings to this world.

      :)

    • Vibhavari profile image
      Author

      Vibhavari 6 years ago from India

      Hi dawnM,

      Thanks for your feedback, I think one of the biggest flaws in a woman's thinking is that she thinks she is not strong enough, or capable enough and she rarely recognizes her own strengths and gifts that she brings to this world.

      :)

    • Cracknutcase profile image

      Cracknutcase 6 years ago from India,bangalore

      Awesome article... Keep up the good work.. I'm gonna try and bcum an independent woman..Thanks to u :)

    • Vibhavari profile image
      Author

      Vibhavari 6 years ago from India

      hi Cracknutcase,

      Thank you so much for your feedback, I am so happy I can make a difference :)

      have a great day! love and god bless!

    • profile image

      Moons 6 years ago

      Something to contemplate about. :) thanks

    • profile image

      Traveler 6 years ago

      "Most women confuse independence as being limited to financially independent. No doubt financial independence is important, but you will find that independence is a lot more than that."

      Thank you for making this distinction, Vibhavari, as some women easily get carried away into thinking that the above is so, i.e. financial independence is all there is to being "independent."

    • Vibhavari profile image
      Author

      Vibhavari 6 years ago from India

      Hi Traveler,

      you are welcome, and thank you for leaving me feedback.

    • lea86 profile image

      lea86 6 years ago

      Yeah I think this is a good and ispirational hub on giving insight to become a stronger and independent woman. This hub really gives me good points. Thanks!

    • Vibhavari profile image
      Author

      Vibhavari 6 years ago from India

      Hi lea86,

      Thank you for leaving me feedback, and I am really happy you found information in this hub useful.

    • saesha profile image

      saesha 6 years ago

      great ideas!

    • Vibhavari profile image
      Author

      Vibhavari 6 years ago from India

      Thank you saesha.

    • CARIBQUEEN profile image

      CARIBQUEEN 6 years ago

      Vibhavari: Point no.5 is the best for me. Acceptance puts you on a whole new level. You can be you from there - making proper decisions that would enhance your life as a woman. Great hub.

    • Vibhavari profile image
      Author

      Vibhavari 6 years ago from India

      Hi CARIBQUEEN,

      thank you so much for your feedback. Being able to accept responsibility for your life, for being who you are and loving who you are with no pretence makes a world of difference!

    • crystolite profile image

      Emma 6 years ago from Houston TX

      Excellent and much inspirational tips on how to really become stronger and independent which i think i buy the idea a lot and will definitely give it trial.

    • Vibhavari profile image
      Author

      Vibhavari 6 years ago from India

      HI crystolite

      thank you so much for your feedback!

    • profile image

      Munira 6 years ago

      Dear Vibhavari,

      Thanks a lot for your excellent article. These are very useful tips. Now I don't feel that I'm alone in my journey for seeking the true independence in life.

    • carolp profile image

      Carolina 6 years ago from Switzerland

      This is an inspiring hub. Your list is a great help. I love to be an independent woman in any way. If a woman is alone, she has all the chance to do what she wants. Having a husband or a partner is another adjustment, considering the ideas, principles of your partner, accepting ones weakness, respecting each other day by day.

    • Vibhavari profile image
      Author

      Vibhavari 6 years ago from India

      Hi carolp, thanks for your feedback. I do agree with you that we are brought up with the idea of having to give up on some things if we want to keep our families and partners happy. The secret is not to lose sight of your own wants and desires despite all of that and to fulfill your dreams to any degree that you can.

    • profile image

      bala 6 years ago

      Hi Vibhavari,

      This was a eye opener.thanks

    • Moon Daisy profile image

      Moon Daisy 5 years ago from London

      A great hub. Point 5 is an important one to me. Point 7 is a challenge, as are 9 and 10. This hub gives me a lot to think about!

    • Vibhavari profile image
      Author

      Vibhavari 5 years ago from India

      Hi Moon Daisy,

      thank you for your feedback. Referring to point 7, it is important to care about yourself- for example only you can rest your body, no one else can do it for you :) so it is ok to say, I'm feeling tired and I am taking some time to rest. It is alright to ask for help when you need it. if you don't shower love and affection on yourself- you cannot shower it on others.

      point 9 and 10 tie up with each other. Making changes, yes, that is a tough one until you make a decision to change whatever you can; start small.

      I know many women who need to feel needed, (co-dependent relationships); so they will run about trying to be superwoman rather than let their grown up children or husbands or friends take some responsibility for themselves. They will complain but if you tell them that they can easily make a few changes and get some free time to themselves- they won't. They are too involved with their "stories". They won't know who they are if they 'let-go' of stuff they can :) Sometimes this is a cover for wanting to "be in control at all times" and that is something that a healthy strong independent woman would never need to do, because her self worth does not come from what others will think of her, it comes from within.

      A strong independent woman can "let-go" and allow things to be and let each take their own learning path.

    • sunkentreasure profile image

      BERNARD LEVINE 5 years ago from RUIMSIG, SOUTH AFRICA

      ALWAYS HAVE A DREAM By BERNARD LEVINE

      Follow your heart

      to the path of greatness

      that lies within you.

      The secret of life

      is to have something

      to look forward to

      everyday.

      Find a dream that excites you

      and make plans

      of how you are going

      to achieve it.

      Feed your mind daily

      with positive energy

      and words of inspiration.

      Take your life to a higher level.

      Stay focused and go forward

      with your eyes on the prize.

      When you run towards your destination

      with passion in your heart

      you will see your dreams come true.

      © Bernard Levine

    • Vibhavari profile image
      Author

      Vibhavari 5 years ago from India

      Hi sunkentreasure,

      Those are such wonderful lines offering so much encouragement..

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing these words here.

    • Reves-diary profile image

      Reve 5 years ago from Dhaka

      For me, the first thing women should need is the SELF CONFIDENCE. Without having this power, they can't motivate themselves to say positive, and stay up to the task. This is the nucleus for women in my point of view.

      Thanks for your hub.

    • profile image

      Nena 5 years ago

      Thank you for the article! Very inspirational!!

    • Vibhavari profile image
      Author

      Vibhavari 5 years ago from India

      Hi Reves-diary and Nena,

      Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving your feedback.

    • profile image

      Sylvie 5 years ago

      I just wanted to say that this was very inspiring for me because I am nineteen almost twenty and am still living with my parents. I am struggling to mentally shift from relying on parents to a more independent mindset. I am being patient for the financial independence, but that is coming along slowly. That tree analogy with the photo really brought the concept to life, being a Christian woman. Thank you :-)

    • Vibhavari profile image
      Author

      Vibhavari 5 years ago from India

      Hi Sylvie,

      I'm glad you found this hub useful! Have a lovely day.

    • profile image

      Erin 5 years ago

      This is a very helpful article. Over the years I've taken quite the emotional beating and I am currently going through an identity crisis. I was once and independent and strong person and somewhere down the line I've let insecurity and fear take over. Your list is wonderful. The rule that spoke to me the most was number 5: Move from the victim mentality to a creator mentality. That was one of those things that flicks on the light bulb above my head where everything makes complete sense. Well, anyway, I appreciate the work you put into this and thank you.

    • Vibhavari profile image
      Author

      Vibhavari 5 years ago from India

      Hi Erin,

      I am very happy to know this article helped you. Thank you for your feedback and God bless!

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