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How To Become The Ideal Wife
The True definition of Marriage
Marriage, as we know is the coming together of a man and a woman to become husband and wife. This means that the two individuals come together to start a changes to be a husband likewise the woman becomes a wife. There is a difference between the man and the husband; and in the same vein, there is a difference between the woman and the wife.
It may shock you to hear that if a man gets married and remains a ‘man’, he sure cannot succeed in building a home. The same truth of the woman. Every successful home is founded by the full realization of the husband and his wife.
There are certain knowledge that a man, and in fact a woman, needs to acquire before they cannot go ahead to form a home. Apart from love, compatibility and other vital virtues, we need to get our minds sanitized and spacious enough to take in new inventions and necessary truths. A lasting home is not the work of an individual. It involves the both parties’ participation. They each have distinct and unique features that will need to be deployed In order to build a lasting home.
It is so sad in our modern day that the tide of popular norms has swept off vital virtues. We now tend to over use our reasoning to the extent that we become picky, irritable and quarrelsome. No, it is not supposed to be so.
Today, I will be discussing with you on who an ideal wife is and how to become an ideal wife. Whether we agree to this fact or not, I submit here that there are things that only the wife (not woman) can do both in the husband’s life and also at home.
No man can be truly fulfilled until he has married ‘his wife’. Because, there are things in your life as a man that just can’t be communicated to anyone but must be done. And no other person would do that work except your wife. Even the man cannot be pleased meeting those needs, by himself. This is far beyond sexual satisfaction. So please get your mind adjusted. I am talking in relation to the man’s assignment on the face of the earth. If it is sex, someone else may give him that. So that is not the point of emphasis. There is more to marriage life than sexual satisfaction. An ideal wife is meant to be both a help and a helper! These are two different things.
A help is someone or something that serves as a succor or an ease to pain and needs someone who doesn’t just provide help, but who is a help herself. For instance, if you are very ill and you are in the hospital, there are times when people’s presence would be just what you need in order to respond to drugs and treatments. The folks that stay around you then are not just your helpers; but your help. On the other hand, a helper is someone who comes to your aid, when you are about to undertake a task. Still referring to the above example, let’s say someone heard about your illness and sends some money to you to pay for the hospital bills, that person has become your helper. That is who a wife should be.
Even more, a wife is a partaker or ‘path sharer’ in your life assignment. That is, the onus is laid on her as a wife to take an active and meaningful part in her husband’s work or better still life assignment. She also shares in her husband’s path of life.
The wife sees it as a mandate or necessity to bear her husband’s burdens. Simply put, no matter how wide apart your professions are from each other, you can still decide to marry the both professions and bring them to, at least, a point of intersection. It is almost an aberration for a wife to hide from her husband, her plans and goals. I have heard cases where the husband asks his wife about her plans (short term plans), and the wife responds by saying that her plans are secret between her and God. That looks very absurd! If you fall within this category, please dispose that idea. It is not acceptable in your marriage life.
By now, I am very sure that some ladies reading this would be yelling and querying this idea. Some may ask, ‘what about the husband that if he too is very secretive?’ the truth is this in the circle of marriage ideas must be shared and managed and planned together. No one should operate as a lone ranger this builds trust and companionship and co-operation and desired results. Certain ideas can never be realistic unless it is done together as couples.
A wife shares in her husband’s work and does it effectively as the man would do it. She is therefore a good substitute for her husband. An ideal wife completes her husband’s open-end faults. She compliments her husband’s efforts and feats; she adds color to her husband’s work. If she is not around, there would be a feeling that something is lagging or missing. That is a wife.
Becoming the Ideal Wife
In many homes, husbands pray for the day to break so that they can just get out. They no longer enjoy your company because of your monotonous lifestyle. Many ladies are full of more vices than virtues. They are very intelligent at explaining away their own faults and emphasizing their spouse’s.
A wife is not independent of her husband. This does not mean she cannot do things independently. No! only that her dependent attitude as a wife should be more dominant than her independent nature. Some women (so called wives) feel that they are ‘wife’ enough to take decisions of their own will, that may be true, but if you do that, you have not honored your husband. That is simply marital insubordination.
We have learnt about people’s various temperamental make ups, which most and generally are natural. We are aware of our choleric folks. Especially the ladies, who strive for dominance and scramble for the position of the head of the home, she is always heady and high-minded; full of herself or egocentric. She is self opinionated and tends to be rude and harsh. Bt if at all our choleric ladies will get married and have a wonderful and long lasting home, they must crucify all those domineering traits of the heart.
An ideal wife should be submissive. Sad to say this, submission has become a very rare virtue in our modern society. Especially at the rise of Women’s Right Activists. The crusades propagated in favor of Women’s Rights all over the world have eroded submission away from the mind of the average educated lady. At earning the first university degree, the lady suddenly becomes bloated in her mind, full of languid dispositions, hating rebuke or correction. All because she commands considerably good English, she uses this tool as a weapon to lash out abuses on her husband. She is always fond of arguing to win. Even when she is supposed to say ‘I’m sorry’ or even own up. She would consider such an act as degrading of one’s ego. No! That is not a wife, she is just a woman!
‘Submission’ is divided into two words “sub” and “mission”. “Sub” implies, “coming under” (say an authority). You can see that it is a voluntary thing. You, as a wife, must choose to ‘come under your husband’s authority’. You must swallow your pride and intellectual accent and come under authority. One thing I have found out with being under authority voluntarily is that you are not ashamed of it. In fact people come to respect you for it.
The second word is “mission” or “vision”. This implies that the ultimate goal of that union must be strictly put into consideration. The mission of your husband must be prioritized at the top so we can put it this way; ‘I am coming under my husband’s authority so that we can both move this union forward and upward to a greater height’. With this understanding, submission will be no big deal for our ladies to do.
The wife is a burden bearer. It means that whatever disturbs the husband disturbs her. What gives her husband sleepless nights, gives her sleepless nights too. We should know this that challenges will break out in our marriage. Particularly on the head of the home. A wife does not ignore her husband’s maladies and plights. She takes part with him.
Also she clears out every form of deficit or loop. It does not have to involve money always; your thoughtful expressions go a long way to soothe your husband’s pains and burdens. Even though you don’t have money in your hands, you should have honey in your mouth. That really matters.
A wife should not be an insensitive, ignoramus woman. She should rather be analytical, thoughtful, practical, rational and realistic. She should avoid negative emotional crescendo, minding her words, actions and thoughts.
Finally, every wife should be careful of these precious words from the scripture. “Every wise woman builds her house: but the foolish plucks it down with her hands”, Proverbs 14:1. You cannot pluck down if you have not once built something. So, a foolish woman cannot preserve her home. If you practically commit to heart every single point discussed here, you will build your home. For those who are still single endeavor to work on yourself to becoming a better person and an ideal wife to be.