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How To Catch A Cheating Husband or Boyfriend

Updated on June 22, 2014
a cheating husband
a cheating husband


Have you been perceiving infidelity in your marriage or relationship and you don’t know what to do? Remember, you can’t catch a cheating man by accusation or initiating a quarrel, if you do, you are likely going to give him room to defend himself and you stand no chance of knowing the truth.

The most painful situation in a marriage or romantic relationship is when a partner is unfaithful, and this is one of the justifiable reasons for any unforgiving partner to call it quits with a relationship or marriage.

Leveling an accusation on your cheating husband will not and can never help you to find out, instead it limits your chances of knowing the real truth. So how do you catch a cheating or unfaithful husband or boyfriend?

If you want to find out whether your husband or boyfriend is cheating on you, take a polite approach, to achieve this, you must first figure out some of the red-light signals.

Red Lights Signal, stop!
Red Lights Signal, stop!


1. Withdrawal from bedroom intimacies: men have low sex strength (even though their desire may be high) than women, which makes them easily weary after an encounter with a woman. Taken note of this, observe carefully your husband’s withering interest in having intimacies with you. If he starts finding it difficult to perform his bedroom task with you, he is likely loosing passion in you, which may arise as a result of so many factors- tiredness due to workload, financial challenges, emotional stress or he is seeing another woman.

2. Late returns from work: once a man starts having an extra-marital affair, his usual time of closing from work changes abnormally.

3. He stops answering calls or selects calls whenever he is with you or at home

4. Clinginess to his mobile phone to probably keep it away from you

5. Change in dressing: his style of dressing changes, and he starts putting on a different perfume or cologne. Sometimes he goes extra mile of carrying his perfume around in the car

6. Frequent short individual vacations alone or seminars more than usual

7. Unnecessary buying of gifts for you without much intimacies attached (you should be able to figure out when your husband is buying you gifts to distract your attention from something, and when he is buying it for love and passion)

8. Difficulty in meeting up with family financial needs and unnecessary financial complaints (this is most common to average-income earners)

9. Difficulty in enjoying his dinner when back from work

always looking for new thing
always looking for new thing


Points 1, 3 and 4 may apply to a boyfriend.

1. He changes in his usual way of calling and sometimes finds it difficult to call at all.

2. He starts to complain of your dressing and makeup styles which he previously admires and commends (this may indicate that he is seeing another lady that dresses better than you or he is admiring someone, and probably wants you to upgrade to that standard, you can try and upgrade if you can)

3. He withdraws gradually or entirely from going out with you on a lunch, movie, dance, dates, etc

4. He finds more faults in you than usually normal

5. He complains more about your cooking or finds it difficult to enjoy them unlike before

6. Difficulty in meeting up with your needs or helping you out with things

7. Withdrawal from causal discussions or gist

8. Enjoys spending more time with friends than with you

These are some of the vital signals that tell you that your husband or boyfriend is losing passion and romance in you, which is more likely as a result of unfaithfulness or lack of love. So what do you do to catch him?


1. Investigate his car for any presence of a male contraceptive, secret or unusual perfume/cologne, and some other intimate things

2. Investigate his underwear, shirt, hair and body for any slight mark or change (most possessive concubines do always leave something within him to pass a message of their presence to the wife)

3. If you observe a change in bedroom intimacy, confront him politely in a passionate manner, “baby what happened to the love we shared?...the usual romance we enjoyed during courtship; the passionate kissing…squeezing and biting…are they gone baby?....what about the vow we made, never to betray one another?...tell me they are better than me, tell me they are more romantic than me. Please don’t mind them, they only want to break a home we labored to build, what about the kids baby? (if any)…are we going to teach them to be unfaithful?”

Observe his mood and reaction to this, but make sure this is happening in the bedroom, mostly in the middle of the night. If he starts to defend himself without a passionate feedback and reassurance of romance, it is more likely that he is seeing another woman or he is no longer attracted to you, ignite the attraction and passion again in him.

4. Check his phone call history always (from the moment you start suspecting or sensing infidelity in him) and observe the dialing and receiving of calls from a particular number around or within work closing hours or any other time you suspect, try and be investigative, but never let him know what you are doing. But most smart guys always clear their call history before heading home, but one day, he must forget.

How To Catch A Cheating Boyfriend

1. Try tip 4 above

2. Try visiting him at odd times uninvited

3. Ask him politely that you would like to know or possibly meet some of his best female friends or those he admires, and then observe his reaction to this. If he flames up, trying to scold you never to ask him such question again or claiming that he has none, in an angry manner, suspect him, because he was afraid that you are sensing danger and wants to tempt him, so he assumes defense

4. Investigate his best friends

5. This is not always advisable, but if you are really desperate to catch him or find out if he is a cheating type, try stalking him or get a strange girl or a trusted friend to call him, pretending to speak to someone, and then let her hang the phone on him leaving the words “oh I’m sorry I must have dialed a wrong number”, use a girl with a sexy female voice.

If he is an unfaithful type, he will ring back and probably start to toast (woo) her, let the girl play along until he invites her over, then hide somewhere and let her go and meet him, allow them to go more intimate in whatever he intends to do (but not sexually), then appear. This may not be a good practice, but if you wish you can give it a try.

For now, I have to let you go, but before you start planning to catch your husband or boyfriend in his cheating act, you must first find out why he is cheating on you. To find out why men cheat in a marriage or relationship, read this hub: why men cheat in a relationship.Good luck dear!


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    • accofranco profile image

      accofranco 6 years ago from L Island

      @QudsiaP1, reality dear....thanks for reading and dropping a word,and did you find the information helpful?

    • QudsiaP1 profile image

      QudsiaP1 6 years ago

      Woah... Paranoia or reality... That is the question.