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How To Choose Your Friends Wisely

Updated on September 18, 2011

How To Choose Your Friends Wisely

How To Choose Your Friends Wisely
How To Choose Your Friends Wisely

How To Choose Your Friends Wisely

This hub will be about how to choose your friends wisely. In society today, I always find myself trying to discern who is actually my friend or my enemy. I'm fully aware of the fact, that all of the people that I encounter in my life, are not going to like or be my friend as well.

I have even learned through my own personal experiences, that individuals, who started out as maybe a friend that you deemed very close to you, is not your close friend anymore, because he or she maybe changed, or he or she has a different perspective of who he or she might be, or how that person may view you now.

I'm actually fine with that aspect of it too. Yet, I always find myself in a situation where people who have attempted to throw me under the bus, all of sudden wants to be my friend now. The thing that gets me, is that, now he or she wants to be my friend, and I'm always at odds with myself, trying to wrap my brain around that whole entire scenario.

I was in a bad relationship once, and this woman and I separated, yet after all the abuse she subjected me too, she wanted to be friends. I don't want to go into a long drawn out explanation for what I did, or said to her in the end. I did let her know, there was a lot of abusive things she did, and she did those things cause I allowed her to do them to me.

It is very difficult to be friends or become friends with a person that has caused you pain in the past. I believe that you can forgive, and move on, but in some cases it's better just to count your mental abrasions, and move on with your life.

Granted, I'm not perfect, but I do not mistreat people. If you want people to be your friend, you can't mistreat people, and expect for them to be your friend. The same thing applies in your professional life, just as it does in your personal life.

I stress a point in my life, wherever, I am, I'm the same person each and everyday. There is not a mystery to who I will be, when a person, or one of my friends approaches me. I have seen that so many times, in my life, where people just have multiple personalties, one minute, he or she is this way, or that way. I'm consistently, the same person everyday, and I would expect my friends to be consistent too, not an emotional roller coaster at best.

It's hard to be friends with people in a business environment, when he or she is constantly sharpening or rattling their sabers against you in the business environment. Then, those same people, want you to bury the hatchet and be their friends. Does that sound like something that happens in your business or personal lives? The answer is, "Yes!"

I am willing to work with anybody in any business setting, yet, I do not have spend any personal time with those sort of people, outside the business setting, We have seen those sort of people, who are just tyrannical in a business environment, but then he or she want you to be their friend outside of the business setting. As I stated earlier, I do not feel obligated to spend any personal time with people that I find difficult to work with in a business setting or environment.

I personally do not avoid the people that I do not like. I can work beside a person, and nobody would know, that I have issues with he or she in the business environment.

As for my personal life, I do not even have people in my personal life, that I can't trust or tolerate. So, choosing friends for me is very simple. I limit what I tell people that I do not enjoy being around in my personal and professional life.

I can tell if a person, is going to be somebody, that I could consider my friend within no less than five minutes of talking with he or she myself, be it in the business setting or in my personal life.

Only thing I can tell you, is know thyself, and know and understand the people that gravitate around or towards you in your personal or professional life.

Choose your friends wisely, cause if you don't, you could be in collaboration with the enemy.


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    • CorpGiant profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Dallas Texas

      Hi TS,

      I did too, granted I have friends that have been with me since I was a child, yet I don't feel the closeness I felt when I was younger. It seems as though we have our own lives, and that's okay.

      At that's is it too, as you stated, just by you being you and understanding that you are not weak, and you are not mad at them.

      Life is too short to be walking around mad at your friends, just find that common ground. I know I have found it, my perspective is, when I see my friends, I see my friends, and I think their perspective is the same towards me as well, and that's fine by me.

      Remember, most people aren't going to treat you, like you will treat yourself, if you find a person that does it, please have he or she cloned, and send him or her to me, LOL. Just kidding.

      I appreciate your compliment, and I love writing, and I love writing about these topics, and I hope more than anything, that what you have said, and what I may have said, will help you now and in the future, I know it helps me.

      Much Love and respect back to you, and Dallas is good. I'm on my way to Alaska, to relax, do some fishing, and some hunting, I will check on these hubpages periodically, take care and Best Wishes to you!

      Take Care,


    • talentedsociety profile image

      Tarek Adam 

      6 years ago from Blida, Algeria

      thanks for the reply and its all good ,,i understand how people get too busy nowadays ,,,

      i used to have people i thought they were my best ,real friends ,,, but they let me down in the first trouble i got in but u know i am not even mad,,,i am just glad & proud of me for being right & sure when i didnt show my weakness ... u may blame me for not being that honest with me ...but i really had feelings that they'd stab me n let me down and what really did happen , its all good for me , i hope u write more articles about this nice & very sensitive topic ... FRIENDSHIP ... and much love & respect for your efforts n writings,,,my warm greeting to Dallas :) ;)

    • CorpGiant profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Dallas Texas

      Hello TS,

      I appreciate the compliment, I apologize for the delayed response, as I'm traveling a lot right now. I know that you will find, as well as what I found, is exactly how you stated it,"friendship term is so hard to define."

      The statement you made is so very true, and it is very hard to define. I have found that you have to discern who it is you can trust, and if you enjoy being with that person, then he or she may likely be your friend over time.

      A friendship to me is almost like a relationship, it takes time to develop a relationship, well it takes time to develop a friendship too.

      Thanks for commenting, I do appreciate the time you took to comment.

      All The Best,


    • talentedsociety profile image

      Tarek Adam 

      6 years ago from Blida, Algeria

      As for my personal life, I do not even have people in my personal life, that I can't trust or tolerate. So, choosing friends for me is very simple. I limit what I tell people that I do not enjoy being around in my personal and professional life. if you allow me to quote that,,,very true and i really can say its the same about me,,i guess friendship term became so hard to define in these days ,,nice article ,,thanks for sharing :)


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